flaws illuminated

So, I got the internship, today was my first day, and I think overall it went well, but yeah, being in a new somewhat nerve-wracking situation doesn't always make me rise to the occasion. I get shy and unsure of myself, my natural inclination towards putsiness increases, and I tend to screw up (b/c I'm unsure of myself). However, I came through without making any major mistakes, everything got baked and made to satisfaction, just not quite to the high standards of the owner, but I'm also there to learn and he certainly has no qualms about telling me where I need to improve. He's a little intimidating, but nice enough, could be far worse for sure, at least I was never sent into a puddle of tears or anything, I just got a little miffed when he clearly thought I was being slow (hey, it was my first day). I was pleased to find that I didn't hate it at all however, and rewarding when you know you are making good product and that people buy it and enjoy it. Everyone that works there is great and very friendly and helpful, so I hope once I get to know people and become more comfortable I'll show myself to be a competent individual, I just wish I was one of those people that could at least feign confidence, but alas, I am not.

Anyways, the next 3 weeks are well, hellishly busy until I finish my class and then can just focus on work and this internship. I feel squandered of my social life, but I just have to remain focused on the fact that graduation is near.

1 down, 4 to go

So, I applied for this internship that my instructor recommended. I assumed when going to my interview for it, that I would have a similar experience to my classmates in that I would show up, we'd chat, he may ask me some questions, but that I'd essentially just be setting up the logistics. This, however, was not the case. I was questioned on my knowledge of the seven steps in the baking process, which I hadn't studied for months, and I ended up looking like a complete moron. I also have to go in early wed. morning and do a "baking test" in which I make a batch of cupcakes (the place specializes in cupcakes), and I'm expected it seems, to know my stuff. I'm nervous, as I don't exactly usually make a stellar first impression, I get shy, forgetful, timid, etc. when I'm around new people in a new environment.

4 more weeks of class, 9 weeks until I'm a graduate, until I will have free time and a social life, I'll be able to enjoy the summer, I cannot wait.

yet another boring post

So, I have to admit that I'm feeling a little down, I start school again on thursday for my last quarter, and I'm honestly just dreading it at this point, although hopefully once I get going it will be okay. I just want to be done, I'm tired of trying to balance my life and don't feel I've been doing a very good job of it lately. There's also a lot of changes coming up that, while mostly exciting, like finishing school and -hopefully- finding a new job that I enjoy, but there's also the stress of all that, plus finding a new place to live for July, moving, all that stress, and a good friend of mine is leaving very soon which saddens me. I'm sure time will fly and all that, and though it's cloudy, rainy and cold here, summer is bound to come. I'm looking forward to days where I can lay in the sun, read, maybe get some thoughts flowing in that ol' messed up head of mine, maybe do a little painting.