schlumpy/fat

Definitely one of those schlumpy/fat/ugly days. After a week or two of not feeling fat due to the illness during which I could not eat and consequently dropped a few pounds, am now feeling fat again due to holiday treats surrounding me everywhere I go. Have been looking in the mirror the past couple days and thinking ewww...face is pasty pale, tired looking, skin less than glowing. My ensemble today, unflattering pants and sweater pairing, faded green socks that clash against the green of my sweater, revealed by my too short pants, is not helping matters.

I'm tired due to loud neighbors waking me at 2ish a.m. Am determined however, to spend money that could be used towards my many unpaid bills, and instead feel like going on a shopping binge for new shoes. Then I will traipse home, try to tidy up the apartment a little since Lance moves in this weekend and thought it'd be nice if at least the bathroom(s) were clean, and I highly highly doubt that any of my roommates would take the initiative to clean well, anything. Jake takes out the garbage, so I absolve him of other household duties.

Holy balls, I just got rewarded at work for all my hard work, a reward that was given to only a few choice employees. Can't say I feel as though I completely deserve it, but hell, I'll take it.

nobody cares

I apologize if you are a person that believes that someone cares about how your holiday was, or someone that actually cares about how someone else's holiday was, however, I don't really care how your holiday was (unless you are a good friend, then I care), nor do I expect you to really care about mine, and yet that question flies about constantly post holiday and frankly it annoys me. Even if I sat alone and lonely, crying, about to ingest a bottle of sleeping pills I'd smile and say fine, and then not return the question. Ha, yet I blog about it as though someone out there may care, well, that's because my life is boring and I have nothing else to blog about, unless you want to hear about my financial despair, lack of self-confidence, how I get rejected by boys I like, yet gross, skeevy, old, boringly unfunny, or men who posess all aforementioned qualities seem to have undying love for me. So for that I apologize, and I do apologize if you are one of those persons who chippily ask how everyone's holiday was, and if you genuinely care, then good for you.

The days are supposed to be getting longer, increased sunlight leads to better brain functionality, energy and the like. The weatherperson said on the news last night that he doesn't expect it to get frigid cold until mid-late January, so I figure then we just have to get through February suckiness, March also usually sucks but at least you can see the end is near, those first inklings of spring come that give you that nice feeling inside.

My roommate confessed to not having a strenuous job (she's an intern). I've been recently annoyed lately by the fact that I'm usually the first out the door, the last home, and yet I find myself cleaning up after everyone while they sit around surfing the web. I'll give Betsy credit, when she was between jobs she tackled some projects and thoroughly cleaned, but guess who continued/will finish painting the cupboards? Ah yes, yours truly, even though I have one precious day off during the week, while everyone else works well under 40 hours. But you know what? I don't say a damn thing about it, just bitch about it here, and while chatting with friends, seems counterproductive now, doesn't it. I really love my roommies despite my annoyance.

home sweet home

Sitting here in my empty apartment. I have donned my gay apparell (jammies), and am watching Charlie Brown Christmas since Christmas is just about over and to watch it after Christmas would be sad, and it must be watched because it just must. In the olden days when I was a child, I would watch all the classics with my sister Romaine, Grinch, Charlie Brown, Rudolph, etc., we'd bake cookies together, listen to my parent's collection of old Christmas records, I'd help her trim the tree, she'd yell at me for improper placement of ornaments (2 reds too close to eachother, that one is too ugly...). I'd probably be yelled at for a variety of other things too, I guess I just wasn't very bright. My siblings and I would play games, Romaine would cry for some reason or another, usually because everyone like Noelle better (I don't know why, I mean, Noelle was nice and stuff), or my Dad liked his "other family" better than us. I would have so much fun with my sisters during that week between Christmas and New Years that I would cry for a week after they went back to school, or jobs. Nowadays, I get a little nostalgic for those days, especially when my siblings don't come home. If I don't get yelled at by my sister at least once or see her cry, it's just not the same. Anyways, Noelle came and brought baby Noah, Romaine and Phil were supposed to come with Teddy and Clara but they were stuck home due to the weather in Denver, my brother is in Seattle. I would have preferred to just come back to my empty apartment after Noelle and Noah left early yesterday morning, spent Christmas Eve and day alone, but well, there was my other family to spend time with, like my parents and stuff. I boned up on my guitar hero skills, it wasn't all bad, got to lounge around and watch cable TV. Now I will proceed to watch "Little Women" one of my favorites, the one with Christian Bale and Winona Ryder.

I've kinda had some anxiety lately about my future, feeling like I'm never going to be an adult. I'm going to turn 28 on my next birthday, I'm living with a bunch of recent college grads, drive a shitty car, have loads of debt, marriage/kids is the furthest from my mind, not that I have any marriage prospects anyways, and I'm worried about my career prospects. For some reason this has been bothering me the past couple days, maybe because my sister was talking about how they've not only paid off all her student loans, but that they'll have at least a million dollars saved up by the time they retire, and I'm like, I'll be lucky if I'm able to pay off my student loans by the time I retire. Granted, she's a doctor, but I don't know, I just feel like I've made bad life decisions.

awkward

I saw this guy I vaguely know last night while at the grocery store. I know him because I go to his art gallery pretty much every time it has an opening and I bummed him a cigarette once when at the local coffee shop so now he usually says hello to me amongst the crowd of pretentious art viewers, which is cool cause he owns the gallery and is all arty and stuff and he still makes a point to acknowlegde me. So we saw eachother, and said hello and such, he inquired about my weekend, you know small talky stuff, then I have to spend the rest of my shopping time avoiding him, because we'd already done the small talk thing which was awkward in the first place, but then to run into him again would be awkward again, so I was clearly avoiding him the entire time, now I feel like an idiot, like why can't I just be socially competent and carry on a conversation, or not be afraid of conversation, plus he's an artist, actually doing well for himself up in these parts, so he's not a bad connection to have. Oh well, I think the key is for me to be liquored up all the time.

freak

I have one of those freakishly long hairs growing from my cheek. I think I'll leave it there a while.

sweet relief

Today is the first day of my winter break, have I mentioned yet that I have three weeks off of school, and only have to subject myself to the daily drudgery that is my job, but all that is required of me is putting in my 8 hours, no schoolwork, no exhausting and stressful 5 hour classes, just drudgery. I will try not to complain about work or co-workers during this duration. We are getting free lunch today and tomorrow, if I didn't feel slightly nauseous every time I ate this would be more exciting, I have a fear that I'm becoming lactose intolerant or something horrible like that, I can't imagine, I love dairy.

Insomnia has returned, waking at 3, 4, 5 a.m. unable to fall asleep again, have no idea why, just pisses me off.

We decided on a roommate, Lance, he's "not a flamer but is a homo", his words. I was all about Lance before we met him, thinking he may put some effort into our sparse decor that the rest of us haven't had the ambition to tackle (or time in some cases), and he was funny in his emails and seemed really friendly. Our other option was another guy who was really outdoorsy, so much more up Jake's alley. However, I found him kinda irritating as did Kathleen, and Betsy thought he might be a slacker, plus he had unfortunate facial hair (a long skinny beard resembling a spike coming out of his chin), yet I was reprimanded by Betsy telling me I can't judge him for it, well then who can I judge? Does not one choose one's own style of facial hair, often as a manner of expressing oneself?? Whatever, he got the kabosh, I feel bad for Jake cause he's such a nice guy and he kinda got the shaft, but well, he was the only one excited about the outdoorsy guy. Lance, however, has a ton of furniture, big furniture, and seems to think we'll be able to fit it all in no problem, in addition to the furniture we already have. I'm slightly nervous about Lance, he may be not as laid back as he claimed. It is soo nice not to live with Sarah anymore though, so nice, just soo nice. I didn't realize how much common space she selfishly used for herself until she left, besides being a negative, complaining, lazy presence in the house. I like roaming my home, no longer fearing possibilities of awkward interactions with her, or hearing her stomp around, or complaining on her cell phone to mommy. Okay, I'm done now. So in the interim Jake's bandmate Aaron has been staying with us, and he and Jake jammed together the other night, Jake on guitar, Aaron on mandolin, then switching to fiddle, it was really pleasant. I actually wish Aaron would live with us, he's nice, quiet, respectful, cleans, all qualities of a good roommate, alas, it is not to be.

My teacher complimented me, we had to sculpt dough into whatever we wanted within the theme of "winter", so I did a cozy little fireplace scene, and she was impressed and said that the dought sculptures usually give her a good indication of who will be good at cake decorating and plating and such, and she seems to have confidence in my abilities, she said I have good coordination. It felt good. It reminded though of my painting prof. in college, he was also very encouraging, yet I didn't take it enough to heart...I wish I could.

Well, I'm on the receiving end of rejection yet again by a boy I kinda like, who seemed to like me, and it wasn't just in my head either, other people thought so too. Sigh, now I can't help but indulge in a little of the "what's wrong with me" thinking, even if I don't think anything is really wrong with other then my deep-seated issues that I haven't yet grappled with through the help of a reputable therapist. Perhaps I best get on that.

amongst the living...missing my bed

Friday evening I regained a fair amount of functionality, slithered out of my bed, showered, and shuffled to the ATM to deposit check that would save me from financial despair, then to the grocery to pick up some nutrients. Had hoped to engage in some funfilled activity, but decided it would be unwise...damn age and wisdom...seeing as how I had to work this weekend and have loads of schoolwork sitting all neglected and forlorn in the mouse infested corner of my room. Yes..I came face to face with the vermin yesterday as I flipped on the light, more like face to nastly hairless tail and he scampered his way from whence he came into the hole in my floor, which I've now sealed with a flimsy piece of packing tape, haha, that'll surely deter the little beast. Then I made the mistake of attempting to eat at our office holiday party last night, I mean the food was tasty, but I'm not sure my stomach quite ready for that amount of digestion, not that anything terrible occured as a result, just a tummyache and general feeling of grossness. This morning the delirium hit, but I've somehow managed to choke down theraflu and am feeling just about up to snuff, until the drugs leave my body and I'm sent into a spiral of withdrawels and depression.

I thought I'd be ironic last night at the party, see, I signed up to bring a desert, knowing that everyone has high expectations from me seeing as how I'm in culinary school, (which I find semi irritating since I don't feel like I can necessarily bake better than most anyone else and I don't like expectations put on me). So I brought a bag of Lindt truffles. Really I was just too sick/busy this weekend to make something, but I felt a sense of triumph as well, sticking it those nurses..I don't pester them about the state of my boobs, crotch, or any other womanly issue I may have even though they are learned in that subject. People seem to think I love to bake in my free time these days, umm, not really, I like to relax, work on other hobbies/projects, have a social life, etc. I don't like to bake outside of school at this point, I'm too damn tired/busy. I must keep my eye on the goal though, this wednesday will be the last day of the quarter, then I will have a glorious 3 and 1/2 weeks off of school.

I love my bed

I seem to have fallen ill, with what I don't know, but I feel like shit. I may soon leave my bed and watch television, if I can muster the energy. I rarely ever get legitimately sick, so I may as well revel in it. Sadly I have no one to care for me, I don't have a damn thing to eat around here even if I did feel like eating, and no one to bring me drugs or soup, although my buddy Rachel may stop by later bearing the good stuff.

I'm scared

Roommate Sarah is all but officially gone, outtie, 86'd, what have you, her and her little orange haired friend too. However, I have a new fear, that all my roommates will want the potential roommate that we met last night and that I'll be outnumbered. We are meeting 2 dudes tomorrow, but if they turn out to be duds, then I'm out of luck I believe.

I think I just saw a dead person, or something lying on a hospital bed with a blanket over it looking somewhat like a dead person. I guess that is what happens when you work at a hospital, you see dead people. hahaha

I'm a huge dork. I'm also going to have to start leaving myself comments.

when 2 become at least 4

A not so quality picture of Dan of the Black Keys and 1 quality pic of both of Dan and Patrick who(m?) I had the pleasure of listening to last night at first ave. They rocked real hard, they were sexy, it was good (even with hipster girl dancing crazily in a jam packed crowd and creepy old dudes jumping around behind us).

It was also butt cold last night, went from 60 degrees to 10 in a matter of hours.

I feel lovelorn...Betsy and I had a frustrating conversation last night about men and women and basically "the game", which usually results in a lot of generalizations being bandied about regarding men and women and their attitude towards dating. I'm of the opinion that if 2 people hit it off making the next move (for either person) doesn't need to be this calculated 'I have to wait x amount of time', if the other person likes you they'll want to see you and hear from you and not be turned off. However if you or they are on the fence that is a pretty good indication of if you like the person, are you excited, indifferent, or hoping they won't call. From my vast experience in the dating realm is where I've gained my expertise, haha. We also talked about using haha, LOL, LMAO, etc. in email. I tend to use haha quite frequently to convey "I just said something funny, and I am chuckling", because well, I'm damn funny. Roommate Kathleen seems to feel all such additions to email text are irritating and convey the attitude that "haha, I'm so funny" in a lame way, hell, if you are funny you are funny. I walk around all day smiling and laughing to myself because I think about all the funny shit I say on a daily basis. However, this blog of late perhaps does not quite convey my wit. Oh jeez, another bit on dating sorta, I also talked to Emily at the show last night, Emily who set me up with her co-worker, and she said he said I was "nice"....NICE, excuse me, he was lame, and a lightweight I might add, and coming off my beer buzz on the way home last night I pondered this and got pissed in my post-buzz alcohol induced depression mode and shared my pissed-offedness with the rest of the car. Me, just "nice"...whatever.

selfishness pt. 2

I was going to complain about people being selfish again, but I decided to restrain myself, since I too, am selfish often enough.

I played hooky from school today, deciding that I needed a day of rest and laziness, and so indulged in much needed sleep, movie watching and knitting, now I will finish my unfinished homework. There are so many things that I want to accomplish with my time, pretty up my home, look at some art, take in a movie, but so very little time to do it, and I feel like I'm constantly trying to be productive, which so goes against my innate laziness.

I'm pretty sure roommate Sarah hates me again, we were getting along kinda for a minute. Oh well, soon she will be moved out. I could just be overly sensitive too. We have yet to find a new roommate, nobody just quite meets up to our high standards of being extremely laid back, friendly, and have at least a moderate level of social competence enough to return a friendly greeting with perhaps a minimum of a smile, maybe even a short chat. Actually we offered the room to a girl and are waiting to hear back from her, she seemed to fulfill the above requirements. Meanwhile, Jake's friend/bandmate is going to live with us for the month of December. Speaking of roommate Jake's band, they are pretty good.

on selfishness and shed culture

Apparently there is a whole shed culture that I was entirely unaware of until yesterday, and my own father is part of it. He recently built a "shed" on the 'ol farm, which seems to be part shed, part personal fun space for my dad complete with big screen TV, pool table and probably a kegerator sometime in the future. So we're all chatting about the shed and what issues my dad has had with the contractor, and how they had toured other people's sheds something like a parade-of-sheds, and how one of his friends wouldn't give him a tour of his shed, and how my step-brother "pimped out" the shed to have the typical teenager party while the 'rents were out of town (and they classically came home a day early). Anyways, probably half of our dinner conversation revolved around sheds, they seem to be the wave of the future. There was also far more penis talk than I had expected (I expected none). Overall, I had a decent time with the fam, my dad is a pretty funny guy.

My teammates at school are greedy (actually mostly just Mary Kay), I mean, I can be greedy too when it comes to dividing up our classwork of the day, but I at least try to be fair instead of grabbing whatever the hell I want without regard to my teammates. Three weeks of class left, then I have 3 whole weeks off until next quarter, I'll be taking cake decorating, I want to make a mod cake.

I get to see Matt tomorrow and get a much needed haircut/color, I'm on the edge of my seat with anticipation.

I'm quite daft

I just saw/heard that quip used in studio 60 (actually my first time watching the show) it is something that I wish I could think of to sarcastically slip into conversation, and now it would only look contrived if I tried to. No matter, I'm witty enough as is.

Much fun occured last week seeing friends in punk/alt-country bands and our local doo wop band, stayed out much too late, was very tired. Our buddy Mike was adorable and funny, his cousin Matt was also adorable and talented, a good time was had by all.

Our roommate search has not quite panned out yet, but Sarah is moving out this week most likely, by sure by the end of the month.

Hmmm, I'm tired. I love ebay, and I just finished my debt management program, which means I have only one credit card left to pay off, after that is paid off I have other misc. bills to pay off, then I can hopefully put my focus on my student loan debt. I hate debt.

not that there's anything wrong with that

So I'm pretty sure that my classmates think I'm homosexual. See, one gal in my class has somewhat more I guess typically "masculine" characteristics, and she seems to enjoy giving me random bear hugs in class, which makes me feel somewhat uncomfortable, but I'm not assertive enough to say anything plus I don't want to hurt her feelings because she is a cool person and I do like her (but I don't like her, like her, I am into dudes). So, I made mention of this to my buddy Manda in the locker room after class and she was like, well, you know why she does that, insinuating that I clearly bring it upon myself because I'm into girls, and I couldn't tell if she was joking or not, so I was like no, I don't dig girls in that way, and then she said that she didn't really think that of me, but she has made allusion to the contrary more than once. Anyways, I find it interesting, like I really wonder if I send out some sort of vibe because I seem to be commonly mistaken for being on the other end of the spectrum, or at least somewhere in the middle.

Anywho, enough analyzing what other people may or may not believe to be true about my sexual preference, I know the truth and that is all that matters, so there.

I feel like a huge moron today, I overdrew my account because of mere stupidity. My car isn't moving because the gas pedal broke or something to do with the accelerating mechanism broke, which I'm hoping it won't be too much to fix. I just found out how much my car insurance is going to go up because of my other recently moronic behavior, and it wasn't to my liking.

Well, I had a good weekend though, Fuj. came for a visit, we reminisced and laughed, schwinged and schwanged, contemplated boys with good radio voices, etc. Ha, and tonight I'm joining Betsy to go hear Mike's band play, and Matt's band play, and my new friend Kevin is joining us. Oh, went out with blind date boy, definite lack of sparks, not an altogether unpleasant time, it met my low expectations anyways. And for those of my vast readership who are wondering whatever happened to the brit mechanic...we went out, I concluded that I was initially charmed by the accent and found him to be a nice guy not quite as attractive/charming at second meeting, I sorta rejected him and haven't heard from him since.

be careful what you wish for

I totally jinxed myself by hoping that I wouldn't be put in a group with Mary Kay, because of course I was put with her. My other team members I don't know very well, but there's Anna, who's really quiet, has very few facial expressions, is short, and has her nose pierced but doesn't look the type to. She smiled twice yesterday so I believe progress was made. I didn't have to deal with Mary Kay directly so I wasn't overly irritated, in fact we are on our own a lot this quarter so I think I'll manage. I'm trying to have a positive attitude. My other teammate seems pretty cool, but I thought that of Megan at first until I discovered she was condescending and slow as molasses. I mean, I'm a fairly slow paced individual myself, but she was ridiculously slow, wanted to be too much of a perfectionist, and rarely did much for cleaning.

Anyways, on a less judgemental note...our roommate Sarah has had a slight resurgence in friendliness, well, she makes an effort to smile at me anyways, and she burned me Aimee Mann's latest album. Thing is, her potential new housing situation may fall through, so I believe she may be trying to butter us up in case she stays, because we've unfortunately not found a replacement quite yet. Actually Betsy had a little chat with her not too long ago about how all us of in the house are fairly shy and so when someone seems withdrawn, the other is just going to go about their business without making a lot of effort to converse with the withdrawn individual. I think she maybe understood that as is now trying to interact more.

I agreed to go on a blind date, apparently the dude wants to go bowling, not only have I not bowled in years, but I don't particularly enjoy bowling. I'm expecting very little to come of this "date", meanwhile I pine for various men who are unavailable.

it's a great day for an accident

Yeah, it's a lovely late autumn day and I just rear ended a North Dakotan a couple hours ago. I'm feeling pretty stupid right now since it was due to me plainly not paying attention. I haven't been in an accident that was my fault since I was 18, but have been in a few others that weren't my fault, and I what I enjoy most is being insulted about how my car is a piece of shit, as if that has any pertinence to the situation other than that this dude's bumper (on his new Honda pickup), as he so graciously screamed at me, will cost more to repair then my entire car, and if I owned a vehicle as nice as his then maybe I'd drive more carefully. I thanked him for his insight as I picked my bumper off the ground and pushed it back in place, he adding more sound advice to "just duct tape it back on again". After he calmed down he did apologize for yelling at me and was actually quite friendly. A minor accident, but I'm guessing my rates will go up regardless, my good record has been tainted.

Roommate search is commencing, we have a couple of fairly promising candidates, well, we haven't actually met them yet though.

outta here

I just found out that my loan got approved for school, thank goodness, I was starting to think that I was going to have to drop out and also owe them a large chunk of cash that I don't have. So, one less stress on my mind. Just finished my 2nd class, my finals went pretty well, we were required to choose recipes for 4 things and change 2 ingredients that we thought would improve the recipe, and mine actually turned out pretty good, I was pleased. Next week we start artisan breads for 6 weeks. We get to switch groups, which I'm quite happy with because even though I love my teammate Manda, the rest of our group was per usual, not up to our standards. In fact, I believe that is how her and I bonded, over our dislike of our other teammates. I'm quite afraid that I'll be paired with Mary Kay again though, which would be hell.

The incompetency at my workplace also baffles me. My loud, sometimes obnoxious, but usually friendly and hard-working coworker quit, so I am left to pick up her slack because others in the office are apparently too incompetent to do the work that is required of others, such as myself, who can actually perform fairly simple tasks relatively efficiently and without much difficulty. Frankly, it is quite ridiculous and I'm quite tired of it.

Sorry, I'm bitchin' today, had a long week, in fact haven't had a day off since the sunday before last and have to work this weekend too. Monday, which will finally be my day off, I hope to paint my room, not quite relaxing. Oh well, now that I know I'll be able to finish school I can quit being a nurses' bitch and hopefully do something I actually enjoy, like decorating cakes or something.

just too old

Something really strange happened to me last night. After work, I went to Ikea, realized I could not yet afford what I came there to buy, but yet managed to find other things to buy that I hadn't planned on at all, whoever came up with the whole Ikea concept is a genius. Anyways, that wasn't the strange thing, I went home, rang our doorbell because my key had broken the previous evening. Nobody answered the door, so I rang the other 2 apartments and still noone answered so I stood there thinking absolutely nobody in our whole entire house was home and what I should do in the meantime (I didn't have my cell on me otherwise I would've called). One of the dudes from upstairs arrived while I was working this through in my mind though so I stopped entertaining that thought, thanked him, and went upstairs to find that pretty much everyone I live with was home, 4 people who could've answered when I rang. I'm pretty sure they just couldn't hear me over the Al Green blasting on Betsy's Ibook. This wasn't the strange thing. I proceeded to do a bit of organizing of my room, then decided to watch my netflix, probably fall asleep, and possibly go to a party later with Betsy, but we were both undecided as I have to work this weekend and she was playing soccer. So, I put in the movie, at this point it is about 10 p.m., and this is the strange thing, I DID NOT FALL ASLEEP WHILE WATCHING THE MOVIE. I have absolutely no idea how this happened, I was alone, I was feeling tired, the lights were out, the movie was decent but not particularly great, other than at the theater, during midday, and when watching the first "The Lord of the Rings" have I not fallen asleep while watching a movie.

I did not go to the party which by the time Betsy got home I was pretty torn between being tired and having to get up early for work, and going to see Mike, the thrower of the party, who I think is keen. I probably would have drunkenly tried to seduce Mike and been unsuccessful because he A. has a girlfriend who he apparently loves, and B. I'm a huge nerd. I also have a party to attend to tonight, and I'm too old now to be partying the entire weekend when I'm working.

crisis averted...or how Cassie got the fucker out of the fire

Cassie and I narrowly avoided death last night, or at the very least horrible disfigurement. This little tale will probably only remain funny to Cassie and I based on the reaction to the retelling of the story to Jenni and Carissa, but oh well, here goes. So we (Cassie, Carissa, Jenni and myself-oh and Todd too) were out at Carissa's (a.k.a the Suburban retreat center) for dinner. Todd was being anti-social, and us ladies had started a fire in the fire pit out on the deck, enjoying some beer and chatting away about highly intellectual things because we are very smart. At some point in the evening Cassie and Jenni go inside for a stint and Cassie and I are engaged in some juicy girl talk. All of the sudden a log just leaps out of the fire onto my shins! (in all actuality, I think Cassie was prodding the logs and it kinda fell out). After I take a second to figure out that I should move away from the burning log, I jump up, Cassie jumps up, grabs a couple sticks and tosses the log back in the fire. Now we have to attend to the fact that there are little bits of burning embers all over the deck so we go to work hopping and stomping til all the embers are out, knocking a bottle of beer and an ashtray over in the process. After completion of the task at hand we are able to sit down and seemingly relax, take a breath and in fact have a little chuckle. Cassie tosses a few sticks off the pile to build the fire a little and as we resume chatting, she suddenly notices that the lighter (one of those big long one's) had been tossed into the fire as well and she points at it and says "Fuck, the fucker's in the fire, the fucker's in the fire!" Cassie, being the hero that she is and maintaining her cool, reached into the fire, grabbed the lighter and threw it into the lawn. She and I then have an enormous chuckle, and ponder how we almost set the house on fire and also could have possibly been blown up, which isn't really funny if you think about it, but it sure seemed funny last night, and I'm still having a chuckle here and there today.

Anywho...I'm making friends at school, sorta. I mean, we haven't hung out during non-school time, but I do feel as though I'm liked by the cool girls in class. I remember when I had my first college experience and I didn't really have any friends til like, my junior year, other than Fujipants and people I had known from my hometown.

Work had been a real bitch this week, I had asked my co-workers to do the one piece of my work that has to be done every day last week while I was gone. Of course when I returned on Mon. nobody had done any of it and I've been playing catch up, which is difficult since I have school mon. and wed. afternooon and all day tues. I could also bitch about how I'm treated like a peon, and etc. and etc. but I'll restrain myself.

there are no words really

Such a lovely jaunt to the bigger city this past weekend, seeing good friends, seeing good friend's mothers, and eating a lot of ice cream. If I could figure out how the heck to get my pictures uploaded on this old beast of a laptop well, that would be nice now wouldn't it.

But now, I am sleepy, and hopefully the tools next door will keep it quiet.