godawful

I'm now the ?proud? owner of the most gaudy dresser I have ever witnessed in real life. In my old place, there was a little built in dresser in the closet, which perfectly housed my clothes that didn't fit in my normal dresser. Then I moved and after trying to jam (certainly unnecessary) clothes into my dresser and closet that don't fit, I decided to search for a (free or cheap) small dresser. So I turned to Craigslist and Freemarket, searched, posted a "wanted" ad, and after missing out on several dressers I got an email offering an inexpensive dresser WITH delivery. The thought of not having to go to some suburb to pick up a dresser that might possibly not fit in my car was appealing, so I inquired further. From his description, it was considerable bigger than what I was looking for, but I figured I'd just put my other dresser in storage. So we arrange a time and he arrives, I bounce downstairs to take a look at my new means of storage, and at first glance think "oh hell, this is very ugly, but I can't tell him I don't want it since he just drove a 1/2 hr to deliver it to me", I'm guessing my face expressed my shock and dissapointment, but I tried to muster enthusiasm when he asked if it would work for me. Anyways, I took a picture of it which I'll try to post in the next couple days. It's kinda growing on me, so even if I do find something else I may just keep it. I'm actually slightly peeved right now b/c I found a small dresser and arranged to pick it up tomorrow, but I just called and the chick sold it to someone else after I said I wanted it and would pick it up, what the....

Anyways, I skipped school yesterday due to a hacking cough that kept me up all night sun. and most of last night too, so I'm even more exhausted than usual. I didn't have time for the overhaul of my room, more of an overhaul of one wall, which I spent the day on Sat. covering with fabric and it turned out pretty nicely actually. Our party was fabulous per usual, at least I think most had a good time.

eye candy

So apparently if you have a google account, you can switch over your blogger account to google which I accidentally discovered when I tried to login to blogger using my gmail login by mistake. So I tried to make the switch, and they said they were only accepting a limited number right now. So why even ask me is the thought that came to my mind.

Anywho, roommate Sarah seems to have calmed down, she's been more friendly the past couple days so maybe she just had to freak out and let her feelings be known, and now the healing can commence. It isn't our intention for her to feel left out, since we do like Sarah, so hopefully she realizes that.

I swear I'm not gay (likely contrary to popular belief since I'm sans boyfriend), but I've been catching myself checking out other women's breasts lately more often than usual. So no, not in a sexual way, but just taking note if another woman has a nice rack, and then feeling slightly inadequate even though I don't really have reason to, if I do say so myself. There is always someone that will be better than you isn't that what "they" say, and to that I say "damn it"

I'm about to attempt this evening and tomorrow to do a major overhaul of my bedroom, which I'm hoping will not end up being disastrous. I'm nervous, I have perhaps an irrational fear that my room will end up being horrifically ugly.

I got my hair cut and colored earlier this week, and while I'm a fan of the color I'm not sure about the cut. I always appreciate the opportunity to admire Matt's pectorals and overall handsomeness, but in this case, I believe his beauty made me blind to the fact that he seemed distracted/stressed while cutting my hair instead of his usual focus and effort. I guess it isn't that bad, not a mullet or anything.

roommate issues

We hurt our roommate Sarah's feelings. Sarah is kinda the odd one here because we found her through craigslist, whereas the other housemates all know eachother from college, and Betsy and I are good pals. So Sarah feels left out, an understandable plight, but I feel like we often attempt to include her, well, not me so much maybe since I'm antisocial anyways, but certainly Betsy, Emily and Kathleen do, Jake is generally a man of few words so he's not expected to be social either. Funny thing is, Kathleen, Emily and myself are all under the impression that Sarah doesn't like us. My usual experience with Sarah is this... I see Sarah, she barely acknowledges me, I think to myself "hmmm, she doesn't seem to want to interact with me" and I either keep to myself, or I think "well, sometimes I come off that way when I don't mean to" so I try to extend a friendly hello and a smile, which is returned with a "hi" and that is it, no indication of a desire for further conversation. Anyways, she asked us if we might consider letting her friend move in after Emily moves out the end of the month. This friend that basically, we all despise. He stayed here a few days last month, was incredibly antisocial (like, beyond even me), hung around the house ALL day long doing pretty much nothing but hog the bathroom, and we have reason to believe that he brought foot fungus into the shower. So we told her that we would like to stick with the original plan of just having that be an extra room for guests and a general hanging out/study area which I think will be needed once it is winter and we're not out and about as much. This sent her to tears apparently (I wasn't there when we told her the final decision), but while I understand how she may feel uncomfortable with us, we do make an honest effort to include her, invite her out with us (if she is even around, which isn't often), or include her when we are just hanging out. Being shy myself, I do feel for her, but seriously Jake, Kathleen and Emily are very cool and even though I barely knew them before we all moved in together I felt instantly comfortable with them, but then again I did know Betsy which helped. However, I have also learned that I can't blame others for not including me if I act standoffish towards them, which I sorta feel like she is doing. Ah well, if she is truly unhappy she can move out. I'm just glad the rest of us are all on the same page when it came to not having her friend move in, that would have been hellish.

We just received a really nice sofa for free off freemarket. I almost passed out today after giving blood, and even though I know I should give more often, I don't really like to because sitting there while your blood is draining from your body is rather disturbing even if it's for good purpose. I guess I should just be glad that I'm not living in the time when they bled people to try to heal them from whatever ailed them. Then I spilled the chex mix I got afterwards all over the floor when I opened it too vigorously and I was very sad.

SF is hecka nice

Back to the grind after my short stint in SF. We walked, talked, ate, walked, hung out with our host Jer-Bear watching Aqua Teen, tasted various yummy pastries, walked, ate, drank coffee, observed the hipsters, drank beer, froze on the beach, walked, dragged heavy suitcases ten blocks, shopped, ate, sat next to really horny/drunk people going at it, gave the gift of orangina, lusted after boys at the car rental place (or I did at least) etc. etc. SF, Berkeley, Oakland, all quite lovely. Fujipants put up with me during her time of transition, and for that I'm grateful. The couchsurfing thing was a tad awkward I'd say. Were I the type to be more outgoing and conversational, it would be less awkward, but I'm just not. Jeremy was a keen dude, very accomodating, and though we barely interacted with our other hosts, they were also very accomodating, everyone is appreciated for being gracious and trusting enough to let a couple strange midwestern gals into their home. Yeah, I'd say SF is as great as everyone says, pics to come soon.

We are hosting yet another party this weekend, I see a pattern forming. I still have major work to do on my room, so hopefully I'll make some progress before Sat. my goal being to finish unpacking and trying to tackle that fabric wall project.

I totally left the bar without paying for my beer, Jenni didn't pick up my slack, so that means someone that I barely know did. I feel bad about this.

Praise the Lord (a.k.a. PTL) we switched teams this week in class! I'm still with Manda, the one that I get along with, unfortunately we are also still with the dimwit, but we gained 2 cool ladies. I'm super pumped about this, it is going to make the next six weeks of the quarter so much more bearable.

sleepy in SF

I'm in San Fran with Fujipants, having a good time so far, mostly figuring out logistics. Soon we'll be heading to some blues/jazz thing and then meeting our host, which will hopefully not be awkward. I could use a nap though.

artirific

Yesterday was wholly unproductive, unless you consider looking at kick ass art being productive, which I do, so in that case I was very productive. I decided to procrastinate my to do list and instead tagged along with my roommates to the Walker to take advantage of the free admission, and I'm sure glad I did. They have the Diane Arbus exhibit running now and it was quite engaging, lots of images, and because I'm a perv my favorites were the one's of the people in the nudist colony. What was way cool was there was also a Cameron Jamie exhibit in which he fashioned this "mountain". One person could climb the mountain at a time to view some more of his work, and it was all dark and creepy and uneven (like you were actually on rock) and you had to bring this red lantern with you, and the art was kinda creepy. It was creepy in a good way though, well, I thought it was great anyways, roommate Kathleen just found it creepy. Then we went for a short jaunt through the sculpture garden.

I ditched Papo tonight, I'm hoping that he didn't actually show. I found out that it was actually Tango at our established meeting place and not Salsa, a tango night that I know the ex-landlord goes to and I didn't want to run into him, but Betsy's friend was going so I asked her if she ran into Papo to tell him I couldn't make it because I'm studying, which I am once I stop procrastinating. I feel an enormous amount of guilt when I break plans, even plans made with a quirky 60-something Puerto Rican while I was moderately tipsy;

Dude, I totally could have scored last night with a couple of 20 year old dudes (no, not the cute boys from my class). I went to coworker Rachel's party which consisted of pretty much all college kids, since she is still in college it was appropriate for her, for me however, it was a bit uncomfortable since I felt rather old. I was amused by the antics though, and though I went to like one frat party in my college days, and a handful of house parties, I don't feel I really fully experienced partying in college, especially underage since I started drinking shortly before I turned 21. But it turns out, I wasn't missing a whole lot. About an hour after I arrived, we had to caravan to the Burger King across the street because there was rumor that the cops were going to show (the party was taking place in this dorm/apartment type thing, complete with RA). I mostly hung out with my newfound smoking buddies, Josh and Tony, who invited me over to chill and play guitar and foosball after the entire party got locked out of the dorm/apartment because the key got lost/locked in the dorm or something. It was a tempting proposition, but I declined. The highlight of the evening is when some random dude walking along joined us at BK and pulled huge bottle of Jack Daniels from his crotch. I pondered if he'd ever heard of a flask, but then considered that perhaps the purpose was twofold, to conceal the liquor and to give the illusion of having a more ample "package" as he strolls along. Unfortunately I didn't have the motivation to ask as I was in antisocial mode.

succumbing

I really want to be lazy today, so I'm trying to decide if I wanna chuck all the stuff I should be doing in favor of doing nothing except maybe laying out at the lake. However, I am going on vacation in a few days, so perhaps I should be productive today. Don't know if we have a place to stay yet in San Fran, someone from couchsurfing said we could crash at his place, but he hasn't gotten back to me to confirm that is in fact true, well, there is always the hostel or the sidewalk.

I've decided to succumb to laziness for now, and maybe be productive later if time allows. I mean it is before noon no need to be in any hurry, though I did want to hit up a yard sale or two in the hopes of finding a small dresser.

I was a mere five minutes late to my sanitation and safety class yesterday, and therefore was not allowed to get any points on the quiz. I took the quiz, was finished before half the class who had started before me, got one wrong, but don't get any points. I understand being punished or losing points for being late, however had I missed class entirely, I could have "made up" the quiz and gotten half the points. This makes no sense to me. The whole class is kinda silly, it's four hours, once a week to get servsafe certified. My roommate Emily who manages hospital foodservice also has to go to a class to be servsafe certified, but her class is one time for 8 hours. This makes no sense to me.

I dragged my housemates to an art opening last night, I think a good time was had by all. I agreed to go Salsa dancing sunday night with Papo against my better judgement since I have midterms next week and really should be studying. When I picked up my deposit check a couple weeks ago (yes, I did get my deposit back, sans interest, but I miraculously got it back nonetheless) landlord Dan was sleazy as ever (he had some sort of housing court mediator there apparently thinking I would back him up in his case against the hipster girls), but he did give me a bag of clothes that the hipster girls left behind, some items too hipster for my style, but I did score a pair of jeans, comfy ones too. I do love me some free clothes....

sweet relief

Praise Jesus for rain and cooler temps, and consequently restful sleep, except for the fact that I'm staying up too late.

I was so great in class today, I dominated on oven duty since noone else chose to help me, even though each team is supposed to have one oven person. My teacher was impressed by my skills so I scored major points. I guess I have some work ethic after all as in I don't feel like a slacker. I still hate the majority of the people on my team, except for one, although she is mean to the people she doesn't like, I can't believe what she says sometimes. I still may be in a financial aid crisis, but apparently I'm not to worry about it til next quarter.

thicker than water

I'm really socially awkward around my family, like I feel no sense of self or normalcy because no-one in my family knows me anymore. It seems like it would take such an effort to be myself rather than the person that they believe me to be, like it would be too much of a shock to them or something. Regardless, I had a decent time with the fam., it was a mini reunion of sorts, my G-pa showed up, sans wife who seems to not care to involve herself in the clan. My Uncle Dan and cousins Todd and Jacob were there, Barb's daughter with her family, lots of little children. As always, it is strange to see my parents with their grandchildren, remembering oh yeah, my dad can be pretty fun at times. My brother in law Tom tried to get in my head a little, which he is usually pretty good at with people since he asks whatever he feels like. He accused me of always dodging his questions, but he doesn't really listen well, so I'll start to answer and then leave it go when I realize he isn't even paying attention. My poor sister irritates me so much, which also makes me sad because I see her trying, she just can't seem to help being completely self absorbed and immature. My family isn't as bad as I make them out to be really though, I should just chill.

A hard rain better fall tonight like it is supposed to, my tiny fan isn't giving much relief from the sweltering heat.

On a good note my retina is still attached to my eyeball, and I'm not seeing the spots anymore, it was probably just tiredness and stress.

I'm sorry, but it's thursday (technically friday I guess) and I gotta sleep

It is 2:54 a.m. and I cannot sleep because the neighbors apparently think its a great time to have an f-ing party and blast their music at f-ing 2:30 a.m. I'm sorry, but that is kinda ridiculous in my book. If it was a Fri. or Sat. night I wouldn't be lame about it, but since it isn't I'm old and lame and called the cops, ha!

be my friend....please

Well, the woman that Fuj and I were supposed to stay with in San Fran forgot, and bailed on us since she's going to Boston, so I'm scouring couchsurfing to see if we can find a free place to crash. The problem is, there are quite a few seemingly cool people so it's hard to choose.

I gloriously slept in this morning until 7 a.m., it felt so wonderful.

Tomorrow I'm off to O-town to hang with the fam, my siblings are making an appearance and I'll meet my nephew. I also have tons of homework to do, yeah, I didn't think culinary school would have that much homework either, but I was mistaken, it's mostly reading and memorizing though. I'm nervous about going home and interacting with my family, they tend to ask me about myself and I don't like that.

haha, I'm on myspace now, I'm a chump and set up a profile, mostly so I can hook up with hot dudes. If any of my vast readership wants to friend me, please do so since I don't have any friends, well, I have a couple I guess. Though I'm sure any bloggers I know are too cool for it. Fiona Apple is my friend and so is Maxwell.

no worries...for now

Well, I spoke with financial aid, and the lady I talked to seems to think everything is o.k. I just need to show confirmation of my new address and things should be alright. I have to call the loan people to make sure though.

As far as my spot seeing, I called the eye dr. today to see if it's something I should be concerned about, and the lady I talked to there said it is either nothing, or something really serious and I should get it checked out regardless. So I guess I'll find out on friday if my retina is detaching from my eyeball causing me to go blind.

What I am worried about is having to work with incompetent team members for the rest of the quarter. Okay, today one of the women stuck her finger in powdered sugar, clearly licked her finger to taste it, then wiped her finger on her towel and went about her business, touching dough and stuff. I didn't say anything, but talked to my understanding teammate about how I wanted to say something and was scared. So a couple minutes later, she did it again, and I asked her to wash her hands! I'm really proud of myself for being direct.

I may be screwed

I hope not, but I'm not sure if my loan for school is going to be approved since I screwed myself by fucking up my credit, so even though my mom co-signed for me, I don't know if it'll go through. I'm hoping there's just some glitch, and I'm trying not to worry about it until I can talk to financial aid tomorrow. I'm also trying not to worry about going blind and becoming bitter.

I am seeing...

spots, and I'm pretty sure that means I'm going blind, and consequently I'll be homeless or living with my mother who will become bitter towards me because I'll a burden and surely be depressed and surly. Seriously though I am seeing spots intermittedly, I'm trying not to worry about it.

substance abuse

Our "low key" party was expectedly not so low key, and despite my exhaustion I managed to party at a quality level. Unfortunately now I don't have the energy to do anything, like see Tapes 'n Tapes at first ave., or see the House of Mercy band in its original form, two quality events, but one can only do so much. Highlight of the evening was when Cassie swore she saw a large boat in a neighboring yard which nobody else could see, and didn't figure out it was a play of light and shadow until she saw someone "walking on the boat" and the person didn't have to jump off.

So I'll just be lame now and do homework and go to sleep.

falling short

My goal to work full time has fallen a little short, like 10 hours short, I feel like a failure. I also haven't felt this level of exhaustion in quite some time for such an extended period of time. I could really just use a night to lay around and do homework, but no, we are having a freaking housewarming party tomorrow. During discussion of possibility of having said party, I stated that I was feeling a little overwhelmed, and though have made some progress in unpacking my room, would not have it unpacked to my satisfaction, etc. and hoped we could do it later. But no, majority ruled, and there is no rest for the weary. Oh well, I'm sure once I've had some whiskey it'll be smooth sailing, and I've just decided not to care if there are some unpacked boxes and things aren't all pretty in my room, and I haven't been expected to help make the common areas look decent.

Well, I haven't done much other than learn the complexities of bread making. Next week is gonna be a good one, danishes and croissants and stuff, yum.

I blew it

Had I not been focused on nonfat milk solids, I maybe would have had a clever response when my cute, shaggy-haired goofball classmate attempted to joke with me about said solids. Unfortunately I instantly reverted back to feelings of awkwardness when near/spoken to by an attractive boy much like in high school, or hell, who am I kidding, my awkwardness has carried on throughout college, post-college and continues to today (except in states of drunkeness when I'm just obnoxious and loud). It doesn't help that the kid is barely out of high school himself, which one would think would make him less intimidating, but I think it just contributes to my reversion back to shy, giggly schoolgirl.

I'm really annoyed by my teammates, except Manda, who is equally as annoyed as I am. Our fifth person came back and she annoys us too. Tom, who really is a nice guy, but has a hard time stepping back from being bossy, which would be fine if he actually did things logically. Then there is Laurie, the dim one, and finally Mary Kay, who I thought would be competent, but after today I realized she has a hard time following directions I think due to lack of listening or caring rather than being slow. It may not seem like it from my disheveled and unorganized lifestyle, but I'm pretty detail oriented, so when people shrug off a step done wrong as no big deal it gets under my skin, although I guess not everyone can be as smart as me. Today I was "table captain" which meant I was supposed to be running the show, difficult for me since I don't like being in charge nor am I assertive, but I think I did alright, its challenging anyways. I'm also pleased with my dough shaping abilities.

all-purpose

Somehow a huge wasp got into our apartment, which I noticed was flying around the kitchen when we first moved in a couple weeks ago. At the time I thought, "that's gross, and it could sting" but made no attempt to rid our home of the insect. So of course in the past couple days it makes its way to my room and decides to put down roots, which I thought once again was disgusting and a little scary, but I had a lot going on over the weekend and figured it would either leave, die (how long do those things survive anyways?), or I would have to figure out some way to get rid of it. After a restless night trying to sleep in the sweltering heat with only a tiny fan for relief, as well as hearing the nasty insect flying around my room, I woke up prior to the break of dawn to get ready for school and there he was, on a pair of shorts within my reach. I wasn't sure how to approach catching him without getting stung, and in my hesitation he flew to the window and started to crawl around. I was afraid that if I took a swing with my shoe and missed, that he would get pissed and come after me. I asked roommate Jake his opinion on the effectiveness of spraying the insect with Clorox Bleach kitchen, tub and tile cleaner, he affirmed with a shrug and a nod, so I sprayed the sucker down. This only resulted in weakening the insect and I watched in horror as he stumbled around and then managed to fly. I thought to myself, "great, now I've got a bleach covered wasp flying around", but he didn't get far and fell back to the windowsill. I grabbed the nearest sandal, and while shrieking girlishly I beat him down with no mercy until he was on his back with one leg flailing wildly. Shaky from battle, I retrieved some paper towels, worked up the courage to pick him up while struggling to not imagine his insect nastiness soaking through the paper and onto my fingers, and flushed him. I hate to kill one of God's creatures like that, but for every season ya know. The little bastard made me late to catch my bus, but I still made it to class on time.

Geez, a bit of crabbiness aimed at me lately at work, one of the nurses who is usually pretty kind is taking her stress out on me even though I'm merely doing my job as I'm supposed to. It's like, I'm stressed and tired and crabby too but I still manage to remain pleasant. I'm truly sick of being treated like a 2nd class citizen because I'm just a support staff, I've got as much or more education than a lot of these jokers, and it isn't as though I couldn't be a nurse if I wanted to, puh-leeze. Yes, I like to stew in my bitterness.

incoherent

I just noticed that my last post was incoherent (not that it is much better now). I will blame my parents, and lack of sleep.

Speaking of lack of sleep, I was deep in slumber when my phone rang at 5 a.m. It was my old buddy Dan, who I guess was hoping not to wake me, but to leave me a message, and most certainly was on the tipsy side. Apparently he was hanging with another Dan, the Dan with whom I went to high school and had a diehard crush on for a good five years, and some giggly girls, and they were looking at our high school yearbook and thought hell, lets give me a call even though it's 5 a.m. I guess it was a nice gesture since they were calling to say I should get myself to Mankato (where they both live) to hang sometime. Dan M. (the former crush) and I chatted for a little bit about people we used to know, the whole thing was a little odd.

Cassie's Taiko drum recital was excellent, everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves and Cassie of course is very talented at percussion so it was really fun to watch her play in her hoof shoes. It was much more dancy than I expected, lots of movement, and looked like so much fun, it was very cool and nice to see what the hell Cassie's been doing these past few months.

this is neato

I'm blogging from my bedroom. I've never had internet at home except at our last apartment when sometimes Betsy could catch a wireless signal on her laptop. I'd like to think that this will prevent me from slacking at work and surfing too much, but I doubt it.

Last night I said to Jenni while we were enjoying a couple drinks prior to the Damien Rice/Fiona Apple show, that I believe I could have been a genius if only my parents had encouraged me more. Jenni didn't seem to buy it. Fiona, however, was pretty amazing, though at times her spastic dancing was difficult to watch cause it looked painful. She is an impressive artist, and I'm especially impressed by how young she was when she started composing her own music. Sadly she did not play 2 of my favorites, "Parting Gift" and "Love Ridden", but I really can't complain. Damien Rice was also quite enjoyable, though I'm not as familiar with his music. Fiona is so good to listen to when one is feeling angsty, which for me is fairly often (not that I have a lot to feel angsty about, it's just fun sometimes), her and Aimee Mann. Although Jenni and I were wondering, if one writes music influenced by relationships, then does one, especially one as emotional as Fiona Apple, feel intensely the feelings that inspired her to write the song in the first place every time she performs it, or does it change into something else as time goes on, even to the point of just being another song in one's repertoire.

I'm relieved that my first week of school is over, I think it will get easier since I now know what to expect and whatnot, and thankfully I have my vacation to San Fran in about 3 weeks so that will be an excellent break. There are some really annoying girls in my Sanitation and Safety class, I may pull my hair out if the one continues to chat incessantly about things that are of no interest to anybody but herself and maybe her parents. Gee, I'm so judgmental and harsh, but really, I think anyone would want to rip their hair out if they had to listen to her for more than 30 seconds.

My nephew's name is Noah, I was right and my mom was wrong. I like the name Noah too, but I'm a little disappointed, mostly because of the "Felicity" thing.

nice, but...

A good sandwich can't be beat.

We have a fairly new hire here at my lame job as a nurses' bitch, and frankly, she kinda drives me nuts, and usually I have co-workers that I dislike at first, but I get to know them and they become likeable. I feel bad about not liking this co-worker because she is really nice, she just has a lack of personality, and she was probably abused as a child or something traumatic like that which makes her lack personality. So there, you all can see how mean I am for not liking someone for no really good reason, co-worker Holly agrees with me though, but she's mean too. Oh well, I'm sure plenty of folks out there think I lack personality too.

confession

Contrary to popular belief, I am not obsessed with Bono. I do enjoy a hearty listen to U2, like many, but I do not know everything about Bono, about his marriage, his children, or possible extramarital affairs. However, because I once got tipsy at a friend's/co-worker's pre-nuptual get together and proceeded to do some air guitar and singing along with U2's greatest hits that was playing on the stereo at the time, I've been tagged as this die hard fan of Bono, when really I'm not. I go along with it at work though because people think it's funny, and I like to boost office morale whenever possible with my sharp wit and humor.

Also, there has been a new addition to our family, my sister had a baby boy last week. I'm not sure what his name is, it is either Noah or Noel, my mom thinks it's Noel so I'll go with that for now since she probably actually talked to Noelle whereas they just left me a message. Plus, Noel would be kinda like naming him after my sister, which they already did with Elle (get it, Noelle split is both Noel and Elle) anyways, if that is the case my brother in law Tom is getting the shaft since none of their kids are named remotely similar to Tom. Also, I prefer Noel because I loooove Noel from Felicity, and to this day will believe that Felicity should have ended up with Noel, though Ben is no chump change either.

Anywho, hooray for wireless, which will be installed in our pad tomorrow to make it really pimpin'.

And I'm sure my vast readership is itching to hear about my culinary school experience thus far. Well, as I said it is taking some adjustment, yesterday I was so tired I thought I would die, but today I feel good. It is hard work, learning about the details and varieties of flour is more extensive than one would think, plus the mathematical conversions, and all the other information one can learn about food/pastries/procedures. It's more like a science, which is also quite different from my previous educational experience which was more ideas and theories and whatnot. It is nice/unpleasant to be doing something more active, I'm used to my cushy desk job, but it is enjoyable to be working with my hands and focusing on the task at hand. I'm in a team with 3 other people, and me and the other younger girl (the other 2 are middle aged) agree that our teammates are annoying. They are both in the culinary (straight cooking) program so they aren't newbies like us, and while they are both very nice people, one just is a bit dim-witted and the other thinks he knows more than he does. Yeah, so of course instead of being put on a team with the 2 fine-looking and fun young lads (who I think may be at least of legal drinking age), I get paired with these doofuses, but oh well.

per expectation

My lazy ass self is going to have to readjust. Waking up at 5 a.m this morning was not as painful as I had thought it might be, but I imagine a few weeks of it and I'll either get used to it, or die. But then I pondered the days when I was young and virile, when I'd go to school, work in the studio til the wee hours, nap, (try) to be at work or volunteer at 6:30 a.m. and play with children, go out with my friends, usually involving Salsa dancing. Basically I seemingly never slept, and also used a great deal of energy either dancing, painting, sculpting, playing, what have you. Then I work a 9-5 job post college for far too long and get soft, get used to being done with my day and having my evenings and weekends free, and also become a master whiner in the process.

So, my first day of school was a mix of anxiety and fear mostly, with a bit of excitement thrown in. Betsy volunteered to arise early with me and walk with me since she works nearby the school, it was a nice brisk morning. My instructor wasn't nearly as weird as the one's that were at orientation, she seems pretty cool in fact. Tomorrow we jump right into baking...quick breads this week. There are some attractive dudes in my class, if only they weren't like 7 years younger than me, and I wasn't wearing a silly looking chef uniform. This whole school thing is going to be more intense then I thought, but it'll be good for me. I'm a bit slow to adjust to change, but (hopefully) I'll get there.

freakin'

I just totally porked out on A&W (one of the nurse's husband owns one and graciously brought in an abundance of fat for us to imbibe in), the only consolation for being in the office on a beeeautiful Sunday afternoon, but the day has arrived when I must work one day of the weekend if I'm to maintain my income level to which I've grown accustomed, and was already paycheck-> paycheck. Thankfully the weekends are quiet, fairly relaxed, and I get to work with Alyssa, one of my favorite co-workers.

After my orientation yesterday...I'm a little freaked out, freaked out about getting up at 5 a.m., freaked out by the scary chefs, freaked out by having to wear a chef uniform, complete with 'kerchief and beret, and I have no shoes or a notebook, I feel wholly unprepared. Actually the baking and pastry chefs weren't there, so hopefully they aren't as scary as the other chefs. I'm going into "the business" folks, there is no turning back.

I'm thinking about covering my bedroom wall in fabric, I wonder how difficult an undertaking that would be, it appears to not be all too difficult, but I have a rather large wall I'd like to cover. I always have such high decorating hopes when I move, then I get lazy.

what the hell am I doing

My bad, book club is next week, I freaked out poor Erica, and confused Cassie, oh well. I picked up my stuff for school last night, my chef uniforms, books and cutlery, I'm kinda in like "what the hell am I doing" mode. I mean, I'm excited, but it's still weird, I just hope I don't hate it, but I guess I don't have to continue if I do. Mostly I'm concerned that I'll have to be in class by 7 a.m. 7 A.M.!, and I either have to walk, bike or bus to school since it is downtown so I have to get up at like 5 in the morning, three days a week. I'm not sure if this has quite sunk in yet. And I'm going to try my hardest to work full time still if I don't get lazy, but I'll have one weekend day free still. I guess if I don't mind being broke as ____, I can work less.

Anyways, my room is still chaos and our living room is still filled with mostly mine and Betsy's shit. Not that we have any furniture anyways.

get with it

Where is my post from yesterday, and what's going on with the Font? Questions that I do not know the answer to.

I forewent? unpacking and instead immediately crashed in my room for much needed sleep, slept until it got dark, moved a box from one side of the room to the other which did not aid in figuring out where I should put all my shit, then realized I had not yet had a cigarette the entire day, nor did I have any on hand. As I was eating a fake chicken patty I devised a plan to walk to the gas station near my old place, get some smokes, and also pick up my bike that was still at my old house, essentially killing two birds with one stone. Having recently acquired said bike (which was both used and cheap), I had not yet ridden it more than a test ride, so after taking ten minutes to unlock it and practically killing myself trying to get it down the hill from the yard to the sidewalk, I hopped on and was on my way. During the entire 5 block ride, I kept thinking that something seemed awry, but as I have mentioned, it is a "vintage" bike so I just figured it was age-related and nothing to worry about (not to mention I'm not exactly an avid bike rider or expert on bike related things), but the short ride was kinda difficult and their were strange noises involved. Turns out the tire was completely off the rim, and I arrived home feeling rather moronic. I also once again messed up my REM sleep issue by sleeping for 3 hours, then being too awake to go to sleep at a normal time.

Book club tonight. I enjoyed our selection for this month, "Blue Water" by A. Mannette Ansay. The plot towards the end could use a bit more cohesiveness, but I appreciated the theme of forgiveness and coming to find understanding with fellow humans that have caused you pain. I think I should try my hand at writing a book.

back to the grind again

Today is the day of the dreaded audit, my main responsibility for "close of business". I'm too tired to properly function, and being back at work is irritating to say the least. I love my co-workers, even often admire them, but they can be ridiculously cheesy sometimes. Sometimes I'd like to say, "if you can't say something funny, don't say anything at all", the problem is the person telling the bad joke thinks it is funny. Well, I guess I'm not the epitome of wittiness at all times myself, though I think I do alright (but my friends may beg to differ). Anyways, my point is I'm not in the mood for cliche little quips, I wish to be left alone. I want to go home and sleep, which I will likely do despite my guilty conscience telling me to instead make some order of the chaos that is my room at the moment. My new roommates, Jake and Kathleen, well, their room is all cute and tidy already, but they also had like a total of 2 boxes of stuff and 2 suitcases, whereas I feel the need to pack endless boxes of crap that just compile and plague me every time I move. Perhaps one of these times I'll reach a zen moment where I will happily throw shit away.

But why am I so tired is the burning question. Well, moving on the two most swelteringly hot days of summer thus far took a bit out of me, and then forging on to a mini vacay in Duluth which, while not strenuous, was pretty filled with activity...a fine show by Wilco, followed by comraderie at the local bar, some sleep, a hearty breakfast, a lovely hike, a bbq, some badminton, more drinking and chatting and a bit more sleep. I believe this is where my problem lies, in my lack of quality REM sleep. Apparently I still managed to be "fun", even though I felt not quite up to par and lump on a log-ish, but even if I wasn't fun, I sure had a good time with Sally and MS Flava, and Jenni and Todd, and Sally's fam. I thought for sure my car was a goner last night when I arrived in St. Paul to watch the fireworks. It was making the most horrid noise, which is not all that unusual, but this was worse than the usual, but she fired up afterwards and brought me home with seemingly no problem, so whatever issue she has can continue to be ignored, and I will instead buy a plane ticket to CA.

My 2 heroes of the weekend....Jenni, for taking over a car load of shit Sat. after I made a last minute and desperate call for help, and Cassie, for helping me with my car last night and following me home. Oh, and Sally for being my sugar mama, so that makes three heroes, I am one lucky gal.

it is finished

Ahhhhhh, we are done, and I am exhausted and currently being antisocial at Carissa's "suburban retreat center". See, I've got internet withdrawels, haven't looked at a computer since yesterady a.m. Well, overall, the move went smooth, though not quite as piece of cake as I had hoped as in, moving is always a pain in the rear and takes a really long time, whereas I was thinking, well, we have everything all packed up and ready to go and pretty much cleaned, ahh no, still took a long-ass time and a lot of energy.

An update on the Landlord saga, well, he's screwed, as in hugely f-ed. See, he pissed off the remaining hipster girl who was living in the studio apt. by taking a loooong time to install a shower. The poor girl had no running water and her apartment has been a construction zone since early this month. So she asks Dan for a discount on rent, since gee, she's been pretty inconvenienced and can't even use her own bathroom, much less run water. Of course he refuses, gets pissed off, so she calls an inspector. So now there's a bright yellow sign on the door saying that the house will be condemned in five days unless it's up to code. I run into Dan after the inspector has finished laying the smack down, and he's starts making sure we're "cool" and that I don't plan on bringing him to court. He says he's in a "world of hurt" because of what we wrote, and I was like sorry, it was the truth, and we felt you needed to hear it. We actually had a very civil chat during which I expressed that I at least had hoped for some acknowledgement that he saw our side in the matter, and he seemed to understand as well as he can I suppose. Then he tells me about how he's got to come up with 6-7 G's right quick or he's losing the house. So Betsy and I go back and forth about feeling bad for him, and thinking he's just getting what's coming. We settled up with him today, and though he was in decent spirits he just seemed dazed, in any case I think we all ended on good terms or something, though I don't know that we'll get our deposit back if he's up to his eyeballs in court and fines and whatnot, he said he'd try, but he wasn't sure. It's strange to see it unfold, see someone just get into a bad situation, and see how you played a role in that. I truly wish the guy would just learn to listen and compromise, (and put things in writing and be more professional), and get a job. Just one of those people where you're like yeah, he's a real asshole, but he does have his endearing qualities.

I do love my new place. I was worried about living with so many people, but I think it will be loads of fun, and it's so big, our landlord so far has been awesome, I scored the best room, etc. etc. However, I did have to make a cigarette run, and the four (as opposed to less than 1) block jaunt was a bit inconvenient.

Anyways, spose I should flex my social muscle....

don't worry, be happy

I could feed my anger and rant about our Landlord for days, but unless he screws us in some way from here on out, I'm done with him. So now onto happier things....even though I'll be living with several people who are in their early 20's, I think it'll be fun, our new place is pretty sweet too and I get the best room. This weekend should be filled with merriment as it is Cassie's birthday tomorrow, which though I'll be in the moving process, I hope to be able to celebrate to the fullest, then I'll be off to Duluth to spend time with two of my favorite people, Sally and MS Flava (oh yeah, and Jenni and Todd too) and see Wilco and have an all-around swell time. I start school in less than 2 weeks, which will allow me to quit my life-sucking job, and 2 weeks I get to see not only Fiona Apple in concert, but Cassie in her Taiko drum recital. I see good things ahead.

on fire

My Google horoscope for today....

"This is a day of extremes and your alternating swings between emotion and logic can become tiring, even for you. Mercury in expressive Leo is at odds with your stoic Taurus nature, so you may find situations developing that require you to stand up for your ideas. However, first make certain that your perspectives are valid enough to defend."

hmmm...interesting


The blowout with Dan commenced last night around 10 p.m., and lasted a good 2 hours, after which I slammed a beer and chain smoked and had a bitch fest with Betsy. There was some serious yelling going on from all three of us, and I so rarely get so riled that I raise my voice I even shocked myself by how loud and angry I got. Betsy may have gone too far when she called Dan a sexist pig, she seriously lost it a couple times, but then he claimed that we were accusing him of being a sexual predator. Sexist pig and sexual predator, though sharing some commonality, are not the same thing. Since Betsy's friend goes to Dan's tango class, Betsy hears what Dan says, calling a woman's chest "titties", talking about how women are supposed to be submissive, being verbally and publicly humiliating to his girlfriend, scoffing with his other sexist pig friends about being "PC" and respecting women. Not to mention innapropriate comments to and about his tenants, sorry, but when your landlord, starts blabbering in conversation about how he hoped to rent to a stripper in the hopes that she might bring her hot stripper friends over, or how if he were 20 years younger he'd be "chasing so and so's tail" (another female tenant in the building), one might think he's a bit slimy and sexist, no? Not that I would ever seriously fear that Dan would make a move on any of us, but it's plain unprofessional and somewhat unnerving.

Anyways, of course he manipulated and twisted things around, talked about how he always tries to be kind and helpful, blah blah blah. How insulted he was that we wrote such "nasty" things to and about him, when all we were trying to do was point out the truth. The funniest part was when I read from the landlord and tenant rights manual the bit about our right to Privacy and how he's required to give notice except in case of emergency. Then he pulls out his manual, (the very same thing I had as if it's going to say something different) babbles about Mike Hatch, the author of the manual as though this is a personal friend of his who is going to be on his side, and then reads exactly what I read which clearly puts him in the wrong, and I was like yeah, I think Mike Hatch just might back me up on this one. Granted he did apologize to me for the way he talked to me, which was innapropriate, rude, and childish, and which prompted me to give a smart to his ego by writing down exactly why I think he's a shitty landlord. Instead of the civil and adult conversation we could have had, in which I tried to explain to him yet again why I felt it was asinine for him to ask us to pay more (likely because he knows I'm a pushover), and he would have manipulated it and not understood my point but made a valid point that I agreed to pay more, and I would have taken responsiblity for my lack of assertiveness and tried to end it in a civil comprimise. But no, it had to get ugly, although we did end it civily with a comprimise, and it felt good to get it all out and call his bullshit even if little of it did get through his feeble brain matter.

Whatever, soon we'll have washed our hands of him and won't have to deal with him again.

eerily silent

Dan has not responded to our letter, and we are a little nervous about that. Plus, this is what my google horoscope says today....

"It's easy for you to misjudge the seriousness of a situation at home now. Youmight mistakenly believe that you can fix a problem with just a wave of yourhand. But it's not going to be that simple. Staying focused on the root causes and not the symptoms will help soften the hard edges."

What does it all mean?? Anyways, he was home last night, and we were home, so he could have easily talked to us, but then we saw him leave. I decided he was probably going to go to late night happy hour to drown his patheticness in booze since he's a money-grubbing loser. He's middle-aged, sleazy, trying to weasle money out of two sweet 20 something year old women, and can't seem to grasp that he might instead solve his money issues by getting a job other than teaching Tango 2 nights a week and spending the rest of his day on his duff. But the silence is kinda eerie, I'm not sure if he's really pissed off or took our letter to heart as I tried to make it clear that it was not my intention to insult him, but more to be like," hey, we've been good tenants and here's where we could have easily taken you to court. Maybe you reflect on that instead of acting rudely and childishly towards me and threaten me in a public place when I'm with a friend, especially when I've never treated you with disrespect. Plus you basically have no case" So who knows.

Ok, I'll stop ranting about the landlord for today, we'll be out of there by Sat. anyways. The only thing I worry about is that he'll keep a portion of my deposit, then I have to decide if it's worth it to take him to small claims based on principle and for $100 (unless he keeps more than that).
I tried to play tennis yesterday with my co-worker, I'm a little rusty since I haven't played for oh, about 5 years, and I've never been a great player by andy means, but boy, my co-worker was terrible. I'd at least like to play with someone who can hit the ball more than 5% of the time, and maybe makes some effort by say -running- or something after the ball to at least try and hit it back. She wants to continue to play in the hopes that she'll improve, which I can't say I'm too excited about.

I'm surprised I'm not on my death bed, Betsy's been hacking since she got back from Europe, which is kinda gross, but not her fault I suppose, but what's really gross is that she does not cover her mouth. I have to say I find this very irritating, and almost shocking. Of course I still enjoy her, she just grosses me out.

I need to find me a good analyst

Landlord is still being a prick, he claims he isn't upset with me, that he just doesn't want to get screwed, then said he wants his $100 from me (since I was the one to enter into a "verbal agreement), and if I don't get it he'll take it from my deposit, and if we went to court he'd go through, find any time we've paid rent late (at most 2 days, and he doesn't have any grace period after the first which all landlord I've worked with have had), but too bad for him in the tenant rights handbook he has to give us written notice about late fees, how much and when it is due. If anyone is screwing him over it's himself for being a dumbass. Betsy and I combed through the tenant rights handbook, and typed a letter clearly explaining how he has violated our tenant rights on many counts, how we graciously let things slide when we could easily have gotten several hundred of dollars from him (which now I wish I had), and that unless there is some loophole that we don't know about, if we went to court our case would be pretty solid whereas he's got not a lot to stand on. Unfortunately I don't have a lot of stuff documented that I think we did at one time, but I at least want him to wake up and get some self-awareness and realize that he's a shitty landlord and that's why he has a pattern of tenants hating him. It's quite possible that he'll continue to be a dick until we move out, and we may have pissed him off and hurt his little 'ol ego, but hopefully he'll treat his future tenants with more respect.

So other than feeding my anger towards Dan, I had a rather fun-filled weekend. I had vaguely hoped to go to see my coffeeshop friend's band at some bar for a bluesfest, but per usual, my friends were lame, and since I had never been to this bar before I didn't want to go by myself to unfamiliar territory. Thankfully Betsy came through and invited me to go with her to see a blues band that was at the radio station she volunteers at who were having a show near our place. The music was excellent, Betsy's radio friend was cool, and we hung out with some members of the band after the show which was quite enjoyable. Then Cassie and I got a relatively early start yesterday to see the Pride parade and partake in some Pride fest festivities. Surely we looked a cute couple to the casual observer, and we scored a bunch of free stuff, played dance dance revolution and watched the heartwarming mass committment ceremony.

As Dr. Phil says, "you teach people how to treat you", well, once again my lack of assertiveness is coming to bite me in the ass (with the landlord situation). I always get myself pumped up to speak my mind, but then when it gets to the actual confrontation I fumble around for words and get easily manipulated, and I don't know how to remedy it. Gotta hook myself up with an analyst I suppose.

good, bad and seriously ugly

Cassie got us; Todd and Jenni, myself, Carissa and Mary Kay, free tickets to the comedy club since it is her birthday next week. I was prepared to get my drink on since I've not "been out" in a while (or at least feel like I haven't), and I had today off, and the other night I was severely jonesing for a brewski, but the fridge was barren and the LQ was closed when my craving reached it's peak since state ordinance reverted back to the 8 p.m. closing time weeknights instead of the 10 p.m. closing time that we Minnesotans had enjoyed for a short time. So I made up for it last night, a brewski at home, happy hour specials, a carafe of Margarita at the club, then Cassie and I forged on after our lame friends decided to call it a night and hit the 90's to meet a friend of mine and enjoy the drag show and plentiful drink specials. I did get slightly offended when Cassie got hit on by a lesbian (it's a gay club for those unfamiliar), reason being twofold; a. I didn't get hit on by any lesbians (not a good reason to be offended, but smarts a little), and b. this chick just assumed that Cassie wasn't my girlfriend, I thought that was rude of her to assume and then try to horn in on my (maybe) girl while I was standing right there. Anyways, the night was capped off by some late-night pizza, and of course some old dude offering his digits to us, me being the geezer magnet that I am. I told him that I could take his number, but I was certain that I wouldn't call him, which he took rather graciously.

So a lovely evening, then a rude awakening this morning by Betsy and the Landlord yelling at eachother because Betsy's bike had been stolen from the garage, actually her friend's bike that she was borrowing. Apparently things got heated, I stayed out of it since it wasn't my deal, but then after spending a nice afternoon with Cassie sunning and getting ice cream, I ran into Landlord Dan at the ice cream place and he was an enormous ass to me. See, since Betsy and I were originally going to switch apartments and stay in the studio for the month of June, we obviously paid less rent for that space. After those girls backed out last minute and we were to stay in our apartment, Dan offered to "split the difference" between the rent we did pay and what we would have paid for our place which equaled $100. I thought this was a bit unfair at the time, since Betsy and I had already paid our rent, the other girls were the one's backing out on their agreement, it was mutually beneficial to Dan and us since he would have been out a huge chunk of money had we not wanted to stay since he would have had at least one empty unit, and we ended up not using the extra room. Even though I thought this, since I was drained, in schock that I had just worked my ass off for several hours for essentially nothing, and am generally not at all assertive I agreed, which was stupid, and with Betsy being in Europe I couldn't get her to talk sense into me. So I emailed Betsy and we both decided that it was stupid that he was charging us more and hoped it would blow over. Well, he asked me for the cash yesterday and I said my piece and why I thought it was unfair, and he said his piece and I said I'd have to talk to Betsy. Then this morning the bicycle was stolen, and there was much yelling and swearing by Betsy aimed towards Dan (though I think the fault does ultimately fall on Betsy unfortunately), and now Dan is being a huge prick. He claims now that we should at least be charged for using extra storage in his basement, and that he's going to measure the space that our shit is in, and call around town, get prices for comparable storage spaces and charge us the highest price he finds. Not to mention that I'm now afraid that he's going to find some stupid reason to dick us out of our deposit. I mean, his threats aren't very threatening since he's been basically a shitty landlord, there are several instances where he showed our apartment or had maintenance done without giving us the 24 hours notice required by law, nor leaving us any sort of note, that alone we can charge him $100 per incident (unfortunately only 3 incidents I have documented, but still), and other things, like our oven leaking gas and not getting fixed for a month, though that was some time ago and also not documented. I'm just extremely irritated right now, of course right before we move shit has to hit the fan, and though Betsy doesn't always take full responsibilty for her part, Dan RARELY takes responsibility for his NUMEROUS mistakes, and always seems to think he's the greatest Landlord in all the land. I don't know how much legal leverage we have without talking to a lawyer, court was mentioned, and though I think it's an empty threat since Dan obviously has no money which is why he's always using shady tactics to get more money out of his tenants, I'm pretty sure he can't afford courst fees. It's just so ridiculous, and shitty that things aren't going to end civilly since even though we've always had our issues with Dan, we still manage to get along with the guy for the most part, and now we'll probably get screwed since we just put up with his crap for so long.

Alright, just had to rant for a bit, maybe it'll blow over once people start thinking rationally.

it's all downhill from here

The first day of summer, hence the longest day of the year. I was going to contemplate how the days will get shorter, and eventually colder and it will be winter and depressing, but then decided against it. I'm all about living in the moment you know, and in this moment it is nice out.

doing just fine

Years of employment at my life/creativity-sucking job has rendered my brain basically dead, I feel fat, and my apartment has clutter and boxes crowding every space. I'm lazy and I lack empathy for other humans.

Anyways, on a lighter note, my mother officially co-signed my loan, as in it is in the mail, I have my schedule for school and will start in exactly 3 weeks. I haven't overdrawn my checking account in several weeks, been able to pay most of my bills and still have been able to eat, drink and make merry, and will be saving a decent chunk of money on rent. My friends are nice to me, and my family is well as far as I know.

lets do our part

I saw "An Inconvenient Truth" last night, and I'll have to say Al Gore did a fine job, things were laid out clearly, easily understood, with not really any room for naysayers to claim that the recent showings are just part of the "natural cycle". While Gore did get a bit sentimental at times, and he is purportedly an SUV driving hypocrite, not to mention all the flying he does and claims that he's overhyping the situation, well I thought he was endearing, well informed and passionate without being over-zealous. Funny side note-I was reminded of this time when I met up with my friend Brenda and her dad for church and then lunch after, during the time of the 2000 election. Brenda's father, being a conservative evangelical Jesus freak type, went off trying to convince me that absolutely NO one who in any way supports abortion can be a Christian, and that Al Gore is a mongoloid. So I hope that people will see the doc., and hope that people like Brenda's father who clearly hates Gore, and corporate fucks, and complacent folks like my Dad who just thinks it'll blow over because thats waht Rush Limbaugh says, will use their brain just a little bit more for the common good, myself included.

After the movie my buddy Petra and I went to some artist's loft because her old roommate had some work up and there was to be some live music. At first it was just us two, and the dude that lived or worked in the space and his musician friend and some other chick. Then people start filtering in and between Petra and myself, we had some random connection with just about everyone there. One dude is engaged to an old friend and roommate that I lived with for three years, another I used to go to church with and he knew Petra's brother, another sang at Petra's brother's wedding and so on, it was kinda weird.

Betsy returns tonight after her 2 1/2 week stint in Europe, no more solitude for me, in fact I'm certain to get claustrophobic since our place will be even messier than it already is. But, only 2 weeks, then we move, and then I'll still be claustrophobic because I'm living with five people.

a face only Jesus could love

I'm kinda in an 'I hate people' mode. Not the people that I consistently like, I still like them fine enough, but other than infrequent socializing with close friends, I'd be fine with a period of isolation. Yeah, I'm a bit more irritable lately, a bit more blatantly rude, a bit more judgemental towards either people who consistently annoy me, or strangers who just have something about them that rubs me the wrong way. I believe that I inherited this side of me (normally a most kind and amiable individual) from my mother and my eldest sister, Romaine, for whom bouts of actively disliking basically everything about life come on a fairly regular basis. So anyways, I was reminded of an ex-friend yesterday, someone who a couple years back caused me a great deal of pain and to this day remains the only person that I would hope that I never interact with again. Even though said person really isn't a "bad" person, the harm caused was, as far as I know, not intentional, and the person was sorry, but I still harbor dislike for this person. Then I was thinking about how "they" say that harboring hatred poisons your soul...but I don't hate this person, I just don't care if this person is in my life at all, but what if I'm deluding myself and I am really poisoning my soul, and I will never realize my dreams...never experience true love...become hopeless and forlorn....oh well I guess. I figured that Jesus can love all the people I don't.

Boy, am I slap happy today, which of course results in ridiculous and inappropriate behavior at work, good lord I am so funny.

how do I hate thee....

I'm starting to not just be indifferent towards my job, but moving into the actively disliking it stage. And the people that annoy me are starting to really grate on me. Yet, I will work here for at least 6 more months so that I can get "vested", only 6 more months of life-sucking mundane work, well, that is also dependent upon me scoring a decent paying job while I'm in school that is, if not, then 12 more months of the mundane.

the end

We relieved our itch last night, and completed "Six Feet Under", and I was not disappointed, nor were my compadres. Well, I'd like to write my insightful thoughts on the finale and series as a whole, but really it just speaks for itself. So I woke up this morning a little sad, since not only is it a beautiful and thought-provoking show, but it was also fun bonding time with Cassie and Sarah (and Coby). I've got no more Gilmore Girls or Six Feet Under to watch, so now's a good time to take a break from TV on DVD at least until it gets cold and it's time to hibernate as much as possible.

Anywho, I've been less than productive today. I'm quite excited to start culinary school, to have a change of pace, and to eventually quit my job.

the torture

My little stepbrother graduated from High School yesterday, so I went home to the farm to attend his graduation party. Thankfully my amiable cousin was there to keep my company so that I didn't have to make too much endless, torturous small talk. Lots of 4-H families there, people that I haven't seen in the 9 years since I myself graduated from High School, and it was fun to learn what old friends and acquaintances are up to, or kids that I used to babysit. Nevertheless, I was happy to get out of smalltalk hell a couple hours later after the obligatory short, awkward, yet friendly chat with my father. I'm sure if I had to say one more time, "yep, living in Mpls, working at the hospital still" I may have crazily hopped on a sheep and rode off into the sunset or something.

When I got back to civilization I headed straight to Cassie and Sarah's to indulge in our favorite series on DVD, "Six Feet Under". I didn't arrive til about 9:15, and Cassie had gotten 2 disks, and I figured I'd surely fall asleep second episode in, but I only dozed off for a short time, then I was rarin' to go and we pounded through all 6 episodes, boy was that intense. Lots of high emotion, we laughed, cried, were disgusted, and got really pissed off at Nate. I know I was harsh on Brenda in a recent post, but she remains my favorite character. Now we only have the finale left and I'm itching like crazy to see it, but of course we gotta figure out a time when all three of us can watch it. It will be bittersweet, but I hear it's one of the best finales.

I feel a little bad for passing off a task onto the new girl. I claimed I was too busy and I wasn't really.

appears to be working again

Blogger seems to have remedied it's issues.

You know you are old when staying out until 11ish merely relaxing and chatting with friends and a couple beers wipes you out. Gone are the days of closing the bar 5 nights a week, not caring how one might feel at work the next day, gone is getting a second wind well into the evening and deciding to forge on, go dancing perhaps or continue the good times into the early morn. Now a day's it's pushing it to be out past midnight. I think my dad parties more than I do.

Just talked to my bro, he supports my pastry chef career, so perhaps he will ease my mother's mind about my career choice. I'll admit I'm a little nervous about starting classes in about a month.

oh, excuuse me

So this is actually my post from yesterday that didn't post since blogger was down, nothing real exciting, but then again, nothing exciting happened yesterday either, I worked, went home, read at the local shop, went home and watched "So You Think You Can Dance" instead of going for a run like I had planned on, and fell asleep on the sofa watching Gilmore Girls, woke up at around 11 p.m. and went to sleep. I must say though that I'm quite enjoying having the place to myself, I don't know how I'm going to handle living with four other people in a few weeks. I'll probably just be antisocial and shut up in my room, if I have my TV and maybe pick up an old playstation and get Dance Dance Revolution it should be no problem. Speaking of being antisocial, I'm trying to decide if I want to play yard games tonight at Carissa's or continue on with my solitude.....hmmm, anyways, onto yesterdays post...


Apparently I was completely out of line last night for parallel parking on a busy street. I didn't realize that my performing a completely legal and common manuever so highly inconveniened someone by forcing them to pass me in the (not at all busy) next lane that I therefore deserved a flip of the bird and informed I was a "fucker". I know I'm naive, but the level of people's jerkiness still shocks me sometimes.

We are going to start recycling in our office, finally, after all this time. I no longer have to horde paper and take it home to recycle.

Something else that shocks me is the delusion of my landlord...Last night he's like, "I don't know if you heard, but Hilary decided to move somewhere else" No duh, first of all, you were the one who told me on Sat. as all my shit was piled on the porch so that Hilary and her roomate could take over our apartment per their request, and second, that was the cause of much personal irritation on Sat. which has not yet been forgotten. Then he proceeded to tell me that he has "learned his lesson" in that he shouldn't have decided to kick us out in the first place because we are such great tenants (whereas the hipster girls are clearly not as great).

shucks

I guess today is the day the antichrist is born or something to do with the antichrist and the endtimes. May as well just get on with it I think rather than continue being jerked around.

I just went on an Ebay spending spree the past few days, not that I have money to spend, but apparently I didn't quite think that through whilst in my bidding haze. Ebay is very addictive, once you get your fix, you "win" the item, another fix is needed or else depression is inevitible.

Watched a little "Six Feet Under" last night, by myself, since I always fall asleep (we always seem to watch after 10 p.m), and I'm lucky if I stay awake past oh sometimes as early as 8, but I can usually make it at least until 9 p.m. So anyways, since I sleep through 1 or 2 episodes per disk, I take the disk home to watch the unseen episodes, this usually takes 2 or 3 additional evening due to the sleeping problem. While MS flava and Sally were in town last weekend, MS (also a fan of the show) asked me if I ever disliked the character of Brenda to which I replied no, I've always found her character endearing (even when she was a nasty sex fiend). That is, until this final season. It isn't that I dislike her necessarily, but her hair is too long. I remember reading in my YM magazines as an adolescent that the majority of dudes dig long hair, while this is probably true, and I guess I can see the appeal of long hair of a theoretic level, but I don't think the majority of women can pull of long hair. I mean, sure they can pull it off, but I think most would look better with shorter hair. I did the long hair thing for several years, and that, along with my rotund stature and hairy toes contributed to my trollish look. Women with fabulously thick and/or curly hair can do whatever the hell they want with it and look good, but I believe those of us with finer, straighter hair (such as myself) do better with a shorter cut. But that's just my opinion, and it isn't as though having shorter hair has solved all my hair issues as it is very hit or miss (and there's that styling factor involved for which I'm often too lazy). So Brenda's hair is too long and well, she just doesn't have the spark she once had, she seems a shell of a person so far this season. However, we are only on disk 2 and things can easily change.

under pressure

After working my arse off all night friday, getting an early start on Sat. and continuing to work my arse off all day (with help from friend formerly known as Jenny Piepho, her spouse Libra, Cassandra, and finally Jenni, Todd and Kristen) getting the apartment empty and cleaned so that the girls that are moving in could do so per their request, well, at about 5 p.m. my Landlord informs me that one of the girls decided to bail last minute and great news!, we get to stay in our apartment after all for the next month. Yeah, would've been great news a week ago (or even a few hours before), though a little irritating when one is about a half hour from having the place boxed up, moved out, thoroughly cleansed and half of one's shit is sitting out on the porch. I quickly got over it, doinky Landlord apologized and offered his help, the other girl that didn't bail also apologized and offered her help, and I had Cassie to help me move stuff back in and offer support, joined later by Todd to muscle the sofa back inside.

My mother agreed to co-sign for me, I just talked to her a couple hours ago. Can't say she was a wealth of support however, asking me if I was sure this is what I want to do and questioning me taking on another loan. So thats got me questioning my decision now. I mean, thats been the major question, is this really what I want to do? Yes in the way that I think it will be fun, and something that I enjoy doing, and a skill that I'll have under my belt that I can make a decent wage at. If I had unlimited resources? Probably not, but it's better than what I'm doing right now, and everyone else seems to think it's a great idea and are excited for me. I shouldn't let my family get me down I guess, once again, I should see a therapist and maybe get the balls to try and improve relations between myself and my parents, too bad they think I'm weird and I'm fairly certain they don't think I'm too bright either.

We are plugging along in Six Feet Under, I read something online that I wish I hadn't, know something that I wish I didn't know. So while I hope to savor this final season, I want to get on with it since I know too much now.

I choked

I played horribly at croquet last night. I'll blame the elephant beer. Speaking of Elephants, I feel like one today.

A fresh example of the doinkiness of my landlord. I get in the shower this morning, about 2 seconds later the water is shut off. I know my landlord had planned on working on some plumbing issues, but he failed to mention that the water would be shut off at 8 a.m. I was slightly miffed, and chalked it up to Dan's usual idiocy. Fortunately the water came back on long enough for me to go about my morning routine as usual.

Damn Bright Eyes is playing on the radio, gag me.

the three r's

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. I'm not going to claim to be an environmentalist and I surely mindlessy contribute to the destruction of our planet on a daily basis, however, I do make an effort to abide by the three R's. Betsy and I are pretty diligent about our recyling, oftentimes, more than half our tiny kitchen is filled with bags of recycling, yet this morning I walk out only to discover that our landlord took all of our recycling efforts and dumped them into the garbage. I salvaged a bag or two, but sadly the rest will end up in a landfill. Why a person would do such a thing I do not know, to my knowledge it was appropriately sorted, I just shake my head in wonder. My landlord is such a doink sometimes. He also asked for my rent shortly after 8 a.m. this morning, knowing that he is constantly strapped for cash I figured he'd cash it ASAP, which would mean trouble for me since I don't get paid til tomorrow. So I "forgot" to slip it under his door like he asked because, guess what, there are still several more hours until the 1st is over and I'll be damned if I get an overdraft because he cashed my check before 3 p.m. Besides, someone who trashes recycling for no good reason deserves to sweat a little.

Betsy made me a excellent moving mix since she (lucky SOB) left yesterday for a 2 1/2 week stint in Europe (therefore leaving the apartment cleaning in my hands), and I must say I'm quite pleased with how much I accomplished last night, so I'll credit the mix.

Plan is to play more croquet tonight, what if I choke? I don't know if my ego could handle it.

if you can't say anything nice....

I was fixing myself some breakfast this morning consisting of a wheat tortilla with peanut butter and grape-nuts, normally I would add a banana but I didn't have one. The hated and annoying nurse of course commented on my meal, as she often does. I find this rather rude, and I often get comments about what I eat because it's "weird". I'm not even eating something like raw squid, I'm eating an avocado or something, or gasp, a fake meat product. I don't comment on how she looks like a man, mainly because it is none of my business, as is what I choose to eat none of hers.

I guess I'm tired, not that I was very productive yesterday considering I watched close to four hours of Gilmore Girls and fell asleep for at least one of those hours, but then I woke up and couldn't sleep. I'm much like a 2 year old when I'm tired, not to mention my nearest neighbor plays the cheesy country station all day, every day. To explain why I might find such offense to someone's insult of my fare, plus the feeling of dread.

Despite my book learnin' I have no thoughts

hidden talent

Nothing like a good bloody mary buzz in the morning to make one not as productive as one had hoped. Nothing like a nap, confirmation of good health (minus that smoking habit), and short stint at the local shop enjoying an ice coffee and some blogging to get one raring to go for the evening. Betsy and I gotta bounce yo.....we have to pack up our shit, move into a one and 1/2 room apartment for a month, and then move again into our permanent home. I'm going to miss our little place, but am looking forward to having more spaciousness, and a bathroom that is separate from my bedroom. We may even get a piano, with which I will hopefully progress beyond my mediocre piano playing skills.

Such a nice visit with Sally and MS flava, my only complaint being that is was far too short. I did freakishly well at playing croquet, which was likely a fluke thing for one evening only. I came thisclose to beating Sally, which would've been something to write home about. If only she hadn't played dirty and cursed at me, my little sensitive self couldn't get back on my mental game. Maybe therapy would help. I also hope to learn to wear sunscreen.

hot as balls 2006

Ahhh, the first hot, humid weather of the summer, along with my first sunburn of the season.

Looking forward to seeing Sally and MS flava tonight.

Work just got insanely busy.

I'm reading a book, hopefully it will inspire some thinking.

change of plan, or how I ended up living in a college house

I guess women have a reputation for being indecisive (not that I like to ascribe to gender generalizations). So we were all ready to drop off our deposit checks, sign our lease, etc. when Betsy calls me at work and brought up the option of staying at our place for another month, because she wanted to find something with more space. In fact, she had already called a place that was available for July. I agreed to take a look at it, and if it didn't strike our fancy, to stick with what we had, but I looked at it and it's a lovely, spacious apartment (albeit with 5 br's) so I signed a lease right then and there. Well, my concern is I'll be living with Betsy, and her 3 college buddies and recent Carleton grads. This is A. a lot of people, B. folks whose average age is 5 years younger than myself, and C. Carleton grads, whom, since living with Betsy, I've discovered are a special breed of person. But I figure hell, it'll make me feel young again, and I'll save money, and I might be going back to school with a bunch of 18-22 yr olds soon anyways so might as well live with them. Frankly this apartment search has been somewhat frustrating for me as in I love Betsy, but she can't afford that much for rent, which obviously limits our options. So, we'll see how it goes I guess.

I really need to brush up on my elementary math skills, I've near forgotten anything to do with fractions, and my algebra needs some serious work too. That test was much harder than I had anticipated, which I hate because I'm pretty smart, and I'm not inept at math, so even though I know it was just because it's been years since I've multiplied and divided fractions, it was a smart to the ego. But anywho, I just have to convince my mother to have faith in me and co-sign a loan for me and I'll be on the path to being a master pastry chef. I figure she'll either lecture me about how I'm irresponsible with money and say no, or she'll lecture me, I'll whine, and she'll say yes. Either way I'm anticipating a lecture.

I realize all I've been writing about lately is our adventures in apartment hunting, or my quest to go back to school, how lame.

after much agonizing

Betsy and I went back and forth, back and forth over which apartment to take. It was causing me so much anxiety that I felt sick to my tummy. In the end we decided to go with the smaller place, there was just too much uncertainty about who may or may not be our additional roommates to take the bigger place. I'm a little bummed about the loss of a really neat space, but as always the almighty dollar has spit in my face, mocking me. Ah well, our new pimpin' pad has better porch chillin' options, a greener street, we are closer to our preferred hangouts (and I will have a small balcony off my room where I can smoke, even though I just got seriously chastised by my MD today). So even though it is "cozy" I think it will work. I'm just happy a decision was made.

Tomorrow I have my financial aid appt. after which I will officially know if I'm going to school this summer. hooray. And since I got a "d" in my math class in college, I have to take the math placement test. I'm not even that bad at math, I just didn't care at the time.

Olivia left last night...I shed a few tears even though I'm glad she has this opportunity. However, this weekend brings a Sally (and MS flava?) fix for which I'm very excited. The RD's been missing us.

party on, and on, and on

I am partied out, I've had my fill of fun-having. It was well worth it though to see off our dear friend Olivia who leaves tomorrow for Scotland, and to sorta see Eli off. There will be no drawings of penis mustaches, only laziness and much needed introversion time.

I've been stressed all weekend about making a decision on a place, we've been torn between 2 places. Both are nice digs, and I have to make a decision in like a couple hours. One is a four BR that Betsy wants to fill with her college friends, so I would feel like I'm a 27 year old living in a college house, but it's a neat apartment with quite a bit of space, the other is the cozy place which is in a better locale. I don't know what to do.

apartment search anonymous

I told Betsy after this weekend...I'm cut off. No more scouring craigslist, the newspaper and citypages for better, more affordable apartments. This will be difficult for me though, especially since it is such a nice distraction from work, such a thrill to see a fresh ad thinking "oooh, that sounds nice". Technically we have a place, it's four blocks down on our same street, one that we really liked when we first saw it (before we saw the apartment that can no longer be mentioned or thought of). It's "cozy" on a small side, but cute, and still in our 'hood. So unless we like the place that we're looking at tonight that's our new home.

My company recently took over a building a few blocks down from my office and made the lower level into a "global market" that just opened in the past week. It is so fantastic, Holly and I strolled over there today and got some mediterranian fare, but they had many yummy options. It was much like the food building at the state fair, only it's open year round.

our dream will remain only a dream

FINALLY, we got official word that we in fact, will not be living in our dream apartment. Which is very sad, but I figured as much, what really irritates me is A. we were thisclose to getting it, and B. the dude took forever and C. it was a totally rad apartment that we could actually afford. Ah well, we have a plan B., a plan C. and looking at other potentials. So I guess we'll just cut our losses and move on.

Our dear Olivia is leaving again next week, that lucky SOB landed a gig in Scotland for a few months, or indefinitely. Her return seemed so short lived, I suppose because it was short lived, but I'm still happy for her.

I heart cynicism

STILL no word on our dream apartment, we will probably end up in a shithole because we sat around and waited on the off chance that we'd get this place. I have no idea if we are still in the running or not, we left a message yesterday so I assume the dude would've called by now. My co-workers keep encouraging me to call, but I feel if I do that he'll get a restraining order on us, then we definitely won't have the apartment.

I kinda feel like a judgemental jerk, but I won't get into it so that noone thinks poorly of me. Basically I'm cynical.

UPDATE: Just had my co-worker call the dude to see if the apartment is still available, I know it's juvenile. He said he was offering it to a "lady" tomorrrow, so I'm thinking it's the other person....major dissapointment, unless she's found something else.

the single girl: a reflection

First of all, Survivor has officially come to an end, a bit sad, but yay Sally for a job well done. Not only did she show physical prowess and gaming skillz, but she remained true to herself the entire show. Now onto my reflection....

I'm 27, and I am single, shocking, I know. The plight of spinsterhood is nothing new, though much has changed in the preceeding centuries. In fact choosing the road marked spinster almost holds a degree of respect in some circles these days. Yet, I still get that feeling...that feeling like I'm marked, or my life journey is stunted in some way (shouldn't have drank so much coffee as a youngster), until I meet my matrimonious fate. By not being apart of the almighty pair, by not merging with another and somehow melding to become one well, frankly, sometimes I feel a bit slighted, or a bit labelled. Let's delve into this a little further...
Firstly, feeling slighted: Remembering back to 6th grade, I was at my "best" friend's birthday party which consisted of sleepover, then the following day taking a trip to the big city to go to some fun restaurant and other activities, but that was reserved only for girls with boyfriends (we've already gone over how I was fat and frumpy, needless to say I did not have a boyfriend, and was therefore excluded). In true adolescent girl slumber party fashion, I was hurt, my friend felt bad for hurting me, and many tears were shed. Then you fast forward to High School. What High Schooler doesn't feel a little inadequate when they have no one who will shove a hand into the ass-pocket their jeans and vice-versa. Then of course there is the dreaded High School dance, the ultimate couple-fest. Fortunately I managed to secure dates for a couple of homecomings and my Junior Prom (I didn't want to go to prom my senior year anyways, for real). It carries into adulthood, the double dates, or feeling like a ____rd/th wheel, spouses automatically taking precedence, or married couples now gravitating toward their other married couples, inducing a shift that the single friends just have to adapt to. Anyways, you get the picture.
Secondly, the labeling: "So, do you have a boyfriend? No....how come?" I get this question from time to time, one of my all-time faves. What am I supposed to say to that? No, because I'm homely and fat and psychotic or dull or flighty. Or no, because I'm a lesbian, because that must certainly be the case. Maybe I'm taking it too personally, but I always feel like that question implies that there is probably something a little off about me, some unnattractive quality that prevents me from being acceptible girlfriend material. Not to mention that marriage is seen as this stepping stone in life, something to check off the list of accomplishments, so even women that have great social lives, careers, etc., there is still something missing from their lives. Then of course an un-coupled woman must be bitter and jealous (like I probably appear to be right now.

Anywho, of course there are advantages to being single that coupled women pine after, and if I get married (which I'm definitely not banking on), I'll probably lose all independence and become that which I criticize. Well, then ya'll can point back to this post and say I told you so.

you can't always get what you want

But it'd sure be nice in this case. Today is an eyeorish day (Imagine me saying "oh well, I shouldn't have expected to live in a kick-ass, yet cheap apartment anyways", in an eyeore voice). I still haven't had confirmation on the apartment, but I talked to the landlord and he's just waiting on the other person's landlord reference and if she wants it she gets it. So our only hope is that either she's truly a horrible tenant and the landlord will say as much, or she decides she doesn't want the place which is pretty unlikely because it is so kick-ass, that I wish I never even knew it existed if I can't live there. Would you rather have been born blind, or know what it was like to see and then lose your sight? Okay, I realize I'm being a titch overdramatic, but I just would like to not have to settle for good enough, I feel like I do that constantly.

Anywho...I could also rant about the age old plight of being a single woman, but I'll save that for next time. I'm tired from getting sucked into karoake last night at Carissa's suburban neighborhood bar where I made a fool of myself singing "Uptown Girl", although at least I didn't shake my ass with intermingled pelvic thrusting while singing "Baby Got Back" like Carissa did.

the importance of being earnest

Betsy and I are anxiously awaiting word on if we got our dream apartment or not. We are second to put in our applications, and are sending vibes out to the other woman that she absolutely does not want this apartment (although I have no idea why she wouldn't). I felt sick inside when the landlord (a very cool guy) said that someone else was really interested. It was as if we were going to ask our crush out, we were all nervous and giggly and couldn't form intelligible sentences, only to find out yeah, he thinks we're keen, but sorry he's already been asked to the prom and can't back out now. We are hoping that our earnestness, and basically our pathetic whoring of ourselves will get us what we wish for. I mean, we left and felt dejected, then Betsy called him to reiterate how much we wanted to live there (to which he said if the other person wants it, she gets it), then we sent him an email saying we'd pay additional rent. So we figure we've at least tried our best if we don't get, which I should sometime today. It's beautiful, spacious, cheap, great location, great landlord who wants to fix things....basically it's absolutely perfect. So right now I feel as though I've hooked up with my dream man at a party and I'm waiting to see if he calls, obsessing, replaying the details in my mind, fantasizing about our future together....

OK, I'll shut up now.

p.s. note that I've resorted to leaving myself comments, how sad

if making images is wrong, I don't want to be right

I actually feel that my dashboard Jesus is inspiring a revival in my heart, a resuscitation of my dead soul. See, you know how you talk to yourself in your head throughout the day, making to do lists, having imaginary blow-outs with friends or family, entertaining impure thoughts (with your spouse and/or future unknown spousal shadow figure of course- or in my case Jess from Gilmore Girls), so on and so forth. And you know how sometimes you are so much in your own head that you come to and find yourself gesturing wildly, or mouthing words while staring off into space, or even worse, actually speaking out loud, resulting in feelings of embarassment and self-conciousness. Well, now when I'm in my car, taking advantage of the solitude that driving time allows (in my case usually about the 7 min. it takes to get to work), instead of chatting with my brain I've got Jesus right there, looking all serene, friendly, comforting, plastic, bobbing away with excitement as I spill my secrets or hit a pothole. I thought the F-word this morning, then checked myself, apologizing to my Savior for my profanity. If only I had a radio in my sweet ride, JC and I could rock out some classic Zepplin (JC's power can so overcome some weak ass subliminal messaging attempt whilst still appreciating it's artistic integrity, no problem), or spit some rhymes, perhaps scan the dial for some neo-folk spiritual tunes (cuz I know that's his fave genre). I foresee a rekindling of a beautiful friendship.

Okay, as much as I adore Gilmore Girls, the last two episodes were poor, well, the whole 6th season hasn't been the best but that is to be expected I think when a show's been on for a few years. I like Christopher, I like Luke, Lorelai should probably end up with Luke, but I wouldn't mind if she and Chris hooked up, but not when she's hurt and vulnerable. I still look forward to next season, maybe my dream of Jess returning will come to fruition, probably not, ah well.

decisions, decisions

Betsy and I need to decide on a place by the end of the week, and find another roommate. We met a nifty gal last week, but she opted for free rent in exchange for housesitting. Our other option so far is a young lad who enjoys gaming and playing D&D, who we thought might be really geeky based on our pre-conceived notions. He wasn't overly geeky, but he does want his girlfriend to live with him for the summer which we decided would be too much.

I dislike decision making, and lately many are having to be made. I can sit around and weigh my options til the cows come home, and often by that time the decision is made for me, the opportunity is lost, then I bitch about how my life is stagnant. So anyways, I'm being a little dramatic, but fact of the matter is I don't take risks, which is lame I know, but thus far I've been lame as always. Perhaps I shall see an analyst about that.

personal Jesus, nausea, androgeny, and giant puppets

Such festivities this weekend. My birthday was lovely, Cassie, Jenni and Olivia made a fabulous meal, and Sarah came with Coby, so it was some nice girl time (with the exception of Coby, but he's a baby). After a mere 2 drinks I was feeling slightly nauseated as well as tired, so I can't say I was as busty with my celebrating as I'd normally be. Olivia gave me a dashboard Jesus to help me get on track spiritually.

For Cinco de Mayo us girls and Coby (minus Jenni) went to a gallery opening, saw our old pal Papo. Then we headed off to a Cinco de Mustache party where we strutted our androgenous stuff and sported our 'staches. I was the villian, Cassie was the Con Man, and Olivia was ummm....I don't remember, the entertainer or something.
















Basically, the party was lame until our arrival. There was nary a female with a moustache until we got there, and then all the ladies were green with envy and just had to have one.











And speaking of being nauseated, as I was sitting talking to Fujipants, one of the dudes playing poker vomited all over the table, it was gross. Once you are past a certain age you don't expect to see drunken vomiting at a party, at least outside of the bathroom.


Yesterday I joined my bro for the MayDay festival at one of Minneapolis's lovely city parks. Not only did I see a kick ass parade with giant puppets, great music and costumes, and important political statements, but I also saw at least 2 very attractive men.



And to round out the weekend I attended church, and three short films that were part of the "best of fest" for the film festival. So although I was fairly certain I had Mono, or am just too old now to do anything other than sit, I managed to pack my birthday weekend full of festivity, it helps me to feel young again.

they say it's your birthday, and that the 30's are the new 20's

I'll continue my whine about how I'm 27, and how I'm old, but they say the 30's are the new 20's so I'll place my hope in that. Currently I'm hanging at the local shop, after going to the gym and being pleased with my increased strength, and getting a call from my Dad who apologized for wishing me Happy Birthday a day late. He did that last year too, so he apparently does not remember that my birthday is in fact on the 4th, but that's ok, I'm pretty sure he's getting the days mixed up with my brother's b-day, which is on the 3rd (of October), I'm not offended, nor do I have the heart to correct him. Later I will dine at Jenni's with my galpals while watching Survivor and we will paint the city red, which city I do not know yet, but one of the Twins.

observations of annoyingness

I feel that our apartment search may be coming to an end, we saw an attractive little place yesterday just four blocks away from our current home. It had a tiny balcony off one bedroom that you could get to by crawling out the window, it was so cute (that's going to be my bedroom, easy smoking access). We are looking at a couple places tonight and tomorrow and if they suck, we are snatching the cute place. Our landlord tried to get us to sign another lease with him, because he may be going to Argentina for a few months and trusts us more than the hipster/laundry fiend girls. To that I say HA HA, if we're talking trust, he hasn't been the most trustworthy of landlords, plus we are aching for a normal kitchen and a bathroom that is separate from any bedrooms. I do feel sorry that he has to lose such awesome tenants as us, one's that do normal amounts of laundry.

For volunteering at closing night of the film festival, I got a pack of tickets for best of fest and think I shall indulge in a film tonight. I'm not sure if I've ever met more annoying people than I have while working at this event, especially the other night. First of all, I was assigned the task of taping reserved signs on a section of seats. I was told to wait for instruction as far as which seats to section off, but while I was waiting, this woman who WAS NOT WORKING FOR THE FEST, JUST WAITING TO GET INTO THE MOVIE, was trying to tell me what to do and was nice, but very pushy about it. God she annoyed the hell out of me, I think she thought she was hot stuff because she knew the director and was on his "list". Then, at the after party (which was so much more lame than I thought it would be) another volunteer was chatting with me, and it was if she had been reading a self help book on how to make small talk, the conversation was so formulaic, not to mention annoying and boring. As I've expressed many a time, I despise small talk, I'd rather be left alone looking pathetic than make small talk.

Remember, tomorrow is my birthday, feel free to email me for my address so I can receive my cornucopia of gifts.

is that normal?

Supposedly Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love lived in this house that we looked at yesterday. I scoffed when the lady said that, but she was being serious. Too bad a bunch of angsty punk kids trashed the house, we still may live there, but it needs lots of work/cleaning. I don't know if I could get over seeing it in the nasty state it was in, like I would picture the grime imbedded everywhere and be grossed out even if it was clean, much like my imaginary cat piss obsession.

Cassie stopped by to pick up the Six Feet Under disks she loaned me to return to the video store. You see, even though watching the show is supposed to be bonding time between her and I and Sarah, she forges ahead of me when I don't have time to watch it with her. However, she watched a couple episodes with me last night though and I was like, "Ruth gets way more action than me", to which Cassie responded that everyone on the show gets a lot of action, and maybe it isn't normal. In any case, whether or not it's normal, Ruth gets way more action than me, and that is kinda depressing.