it's about time...I guess

Finally it is cold and snowing, we've had very nice weather for the most part until yesterday, so I guess it is officially winter. This is less than exciting.

Feeling somewhat disheveled these days, been meaning to clean/organize, and just haven't had much time. Christmas is right around the corner, which is just swell.

give it a try

Actually I've found that working hard is actually somewhat pleasant and rewarding. I leave work feeling like I've accomplished something and earned my wages. Besides which our whole team has really come together to get caught up on a huge amount of work that a few days ago felt like a lost cause, but we are making some serious progress and may get caught up even before we planned on. I think I was mostly feeling bad about getting in trouble, I'm kinda goody two shoesish or at least can pull it off rather well, so thinking that my manager may be dissapointed in me left me feeling bad, but she's cool as always and has made it clear that it isn't an issue anymore.

Time is flying it is already almost mid Nov., so much to do and little time to do it. I forgot both my parent's birthdays I just realized, I usually send a card or give a call, whoops. It's been so warm here still that it just doesn't seem like thanksgiving is around the corner, though that will be ending quite shortly I'm sure.

rebel rebel

So yeah, anyways, my manager had a little chat with me, so I need to be limited in my online use. Which of course makes sense, I know I don't work as hard as I could or should, however, she mentioned herself that she should be monitering others too since they spend there fair share wasting time as well, but I'm the one that got the kick in the ass, and that is the irritating part, that I feel like the black sheep now. It's all good. Just makes me realize that I would do much better in a job that challenges me and all the more motivation to move on in the next few months.

detour

so I got in a bit o' trouble here at my place of employment, and as much as I hate to dissapoint, my posting may be a bit more sporadic since there is a more watchful eye...

I never

I'm wondering if I've felt such a lack of brain activity as I do now. I have ceased to think deeply about things, at least for the time being.

Just overheard a bit of MN nice, you know the not so witty banter consisting of a couple of really poor jokes in this case about a common last name here in MN and scandinavion roots. I understand smalltalk is a necessary element of socializing, but it doesn't mean I have to enjoy it, it is awkward, uninteresting, and surface, though some seem to have it down to an art form. Myself, not so much, I don't even usually reply back with a "how are you".

I really enjoy Betsy, but the girl is even messier than I am, and I'm used to Olivia picking up after me not contributing to the mess. She's so cute though, I'll have to try and get a picture of her. Not sure if I feel comfortable yet saying, hey, lets take a picture together, but maybe I can sneak one. She and I were pondering sex, or lack of in our cases...and had the idea to have a party inviting prospects of the opposing gender. I recall when Olivia and I decided last minute to throw our christmas party just so we'd have an excuse to invite cute boys, mine a random parking ramp boy (with cute curly hair) and hers the infamous Luke from class. It was a bust for both of us since neither of our interests showed, but we did have the avant-garde tree and Charlie Brown christmas.

who done it?

The murder mystery party was a good time, I mostly just laughed at others rather than being very much in character (Sadistic nurse Sally). Olivia...wish you coulda been there. It was much better than the party I attended friday night at my co-workers, other than Lori and Angela (who though she talks too much much of the time, I still enjoy her company) it mainly consisted of Holly's high school friends. I'm pretty amazed at how connected they have all stayed, not venturing much beyond the suburb they all grew up in. In any case I usually feel a bit out of place at her shindigs, though at one point there were 4 gals from the same high school working here due to Holly, so I do know them.

Wow, nothing but excitement and intrigue going on in the depths of my mind...

chuckleberry

Chuckle is one of my favorite words, I much prefer it to giggle, unless the giggling is being done by a guy.

Went Salsa dancing at first ave. last night for the first time in jeez, well over a year. Only saw one of the old gang. It was rather fun but I'm rather tired today.

I'd like to say I've been thinking deep thoughts lately but in all honesty I can't claim that to be the case. I'm really quite content with things right now and it's been pretty consistent. Of course I'm sure something will happen to completely stress me out soon enough, but I haven't felt truly down in a while, quite a different state than I was in at this time last year. So of course decreased amounts of angst makes for lack of interesting thoughts...that I would be willing to share here anyways.

new addition

My sister had her baby, a girl, her name is Claire, 7 lbs 2 oz or something like that. It's all very exciting and lovely.

Hmmmm, well, work is busy today, not that I have much of interest to say anyways.

let's hate those we don't know personally, shall we?

Not really, but it must be admitted that us Bransen family supporters are in consensus with the others in the race and their apparent dislike of the Weaver family. Damn them for beating the Gaghan family, the nice, positive family, it made us ladies cry for those cute kids.

I had something of a photo shoot yesterday, this photographer emailed me because of my homely ad and wanted asked if I'd be willing to be photographed. I agreed since he said it wasn't anything kinky, like a homely girl swimsuit calendar or something, we then exchanged a few emails mostly talking about art related things. Anyways, it was fun though I felt more than a bit self-concious, and he was a cool guy...it will be interesting to see how they turned out.

what a spooktacular day

more like just a regular day, and I don't plan on participating in any Halloweenish activities today. I do get to dress up as a sadistic nurse this coming weekend for our murder mystery party. What's really spooky is that I made it to work on time this morning, I even washed my hair.

This morning Betsy and I were looking at the neighborhood crime report and pondering the difference between burglary, larceny, and robbery...apparently larceny is theft w/o force or illegal entry, burglary is breaking and entering, and robbery is theft with force or threat of force...thanks to google. It appeared a residence was burgled very near to our own home, we also had a good chuckle over saying the word burgled.

I had the pleasure of spending some refreshingly quality one on one time with my dear friend Jenni last night. Been missin' that 'ol gal.

mundane details of my lame weekend

Trying to restrain myself from singing along to the Dylan song on the radio, so as to not to subject the others' in the office to my lacking vocal talent, it is proving to be rather difficult though. Alyssa told me I should just belt it out and no one would mind.

Would've been a lovely night to go to a Halloween party last night, had Cassie not been so lame...and had I had a bit 'o courage to go by my lonesome. So I spent an exciting evening at home with Felicity, Ben, Noel and Co., started the fourth and final season, also had a lengthy chat with Fujipants.

hooked

on Six Feet Under...just started the second season last night with Cassie and Sarah, at least we make it a social event. How many series can one be hooked on at one time, currently I'm at about 4, I don't know where that falls in comparison to other TV watchers.

My review went very well, I got a nice raise and I should be receiving a decent chunk of money due to retro pay. My manager is the best really, she did mention that I should be more aware of my time spent online and I of course had to agree, but other than that she was very complimentary.

Just confirmed plans to go to my sister's for thanksgiving in CO, my other sister will also be there with her family and my brother and I will drive out together. My niece or nephew should be born any day now, I'm hoping it's a girl. It should be quite an event; 6 adults, four kids from ages 2-5, one newborn, and about 20 cats.

i suck, u suck

Still feeling like a major jerk/chump. I tried to apologize in the best manner I knew how, but to no avail...ah well, what can you do.

Roomate Betsy and I bonded last night watching commentary on Purple Rain...we concur that Prince looks like a bad kisser in that movie, although he is still undeniably sexy.

Have my job review today...chose to be an hour late to work this morning not knowing that I'd have my review, not that it should matter too much, as in I'm certain I won't be punished for it. Was out a little late enjoying the sucky bands at the Uptown, had been a good while since I'd been there. I used to frequent there when I lived mere blocks away, to hear the more often than not crap bands that played tue. and wed. cover free.

oh boy

I screwed up and am feeling rather shitty about it, meaning I said (or wrote rather) something that hurt someone else, and there is really no way of me justifying it, so I just have to stew in my sorry state.

can I choke the cat please? (Olivia)

I'm tired, and I'll tell you why (if you care) because the cat was sporadically scratching on the litter box throughout the night, this is a very irritating sound, and I'm fairly certain that the cat has it out for me. I eventually decided I didn't care if the cat went potty elsewhere and shut the bathroom door so I could get some sleep (although I guess it would have made sense to move the litter box). Of course then they proceeded to run about in frisky delight. Don't worry Olivia, I won't choke your cat, in fact I'm sure she'll look at me with her sweet face and all will be forgotten.

Apparently I'm in a bitchin' and moanin' mood.

Debbie gave an excellent sermon last night, a synopsis by me wouldn't do it justice but it was good stuff.

I implore you to please shut up...please?

Sitting at work mid-morning on a sunday, total of five people in the office, one of which being my co-worker who has decided that everyone cares about every detail of her life, which consists of her working, going to school, or being at home with her dogs, and now her newfound passion for finding a townhouse. A while back, when I sat near a window and was not so depressed because I had rays of sunshine draped on my person for most of the day...I sat next to said co-worker and could handle her incessant talking, then I was moved, not far away, but enough so that one would think that the jabbering could be avoided easily. Not the case, not when her voice is so loud that I could scrunch up in the freezer and freeze to death and still probably hear her, hear her tell her stories over and over again to anyone that crosses her path, or anyone she seeks out to tell, basically I hear the same things approximately 20 times a day. She can't even get the fucking townhouse for months! months! please SHUT UP ABOUT IT! and your dogs too while your at it. She tried to talk my ear off when I got here but I managed to dissuade her, and it helped that I had to answer the phone.

I had my first official outing with roomate Betsy, she scored free tickets to the theater that her ex works at, so we went and saw Antigone. It was good, a little umm, different, but good, I imagine Greek tragedies are difficult to pull off. At one point the prophet dude pulled a goat head out from under his cloak, it was rather random and funny.

I shoulda

after pondering my car situation, I really shoulda just given up on my car and bought Todd's, after they already did the exhaust work, they informed me that the T-rod something or another needs to be replaced which would be an additional three hundred or so (which I decided to wait on), so the grand total to fix my car would have been just about as much to buy Todds newer car with far less miles and a working radio, even a CD player! I'm a little bummed about not putting more thought into this. Oh well, my car may not have any tunes, but it does have character.

I met the musician/boring guy for coffee last night and he turned out to not be boring. He was outgoing, very stable kind of guy, very friendly, good-looking, so not a bad time at all. So far every guy I've met has been very decent, can't complain at all.

My possible rant was about friendships...I mean I love all my friends so I want none to take this personal (you know who you are), but I think it's pretty obvious friendships take effort on both sides...if you want the frienship to last of course. It's the ol' talk vs. action. and which speaks louder.

yeah, that's right

Sorry all you fans out there, haven't had time to write much...

Jenni, I had a great time with you the other night...

Car is fixed, life is good, possibly will have a rant for tomorrow...

oh come now

I'm fine, really I am.

My car is making some weird sound now in addition to the muffler falling off. Fantastic, I will find out the verdict on thurs when I get my oil changed I suppose.

I think I need to tell Jenny P. that I am not going to her wedding this winter. She is getting married in Jamaica and I really don't see how I'll be able to afford it, but I think she has high hopes for me being there. She offered to pay for my passport, but I have a hard time taking her money and then down the road not being able to go. She is my oldest friend, but well, when one decides to get married in another country, one should not have high expectations for attendence.

self-proclaimed lame artist

that's me, whilst spending time this weekend at the art crawl, it was reinforced how lame I am as an artist, or lack of artist, since I make zero art these days. Whether or not I will be inspired to make something is yet to be seen. I did make a connection (sorta) with the guy that I previously blogged about that owns a gallery in Mpls. that I sorta had a crush on way back when, I had bummed him a smoke at the local shop a few weeks ago and so he recognized me and I impressed him with my fantastic memory (when really, I noticed him there since I'd seen/crushed on him at his gallery, though I can't say I'm still crushing on him now.)

Anyways, from my so far adventures in internet dating I have learned...
-Having as few expectations as possible is a very good thing
-It takes up time, time that I often would/like to spend alone
-I have issues

I was also confronted about being bitchy this weekend by a certain friend who shall remain nameless, have to admit that my feelings were a little hurt, not to say I'm not or haven't been bitchy, because I am/have been, but I thought I had restrained myself lately, seeing as how the issue I was bitchy about isn't really an issue in my mind anymore if that makes any sense. If you'd like to know how I really feel.

you'd think they'd be smarter

those RN's, but they keep making the same mistakes over and over, so I have to fix them, they also don't chart completely which makes that a little difficult sometimes.

I had a good time last night with the german guy (he's not really german, just been living there for the past year or so), good conversation anyways.

so proud

The Bransen family really was impressive last night, way to go folks!, first place and free gas.

ummm, well, I've been so busy lately I haven't even had time to sit and watch an episode of felicity. This also leaves me little time to ponder life.

Olivia, thanks for the goodies and the fun letter, miss you!

cheesy music and cheesecake

Maybe it's because Wisconsin is known for it's affinity for cheese, but something about driving through that state makes listening to cheesy music not only bearable, but enjoyable, not to mention a revival of passion for classic rock. I had a lovely time with Cassie and her family in the windy city, witnessing the gritty aspects of her family dynamics, but still feeling very welcomed as a honorary family member for the weekend. The exhibit was excellent, although I took too much time at the beginning and felt rushed toward the end since the museum was closing. The marathon was thrilling, Eli kicked ass and I was very impressed with all who participated. My only complaint was not seeing Sally and Co., and having to burden myself onto Cassie's fam for the entire time, who I observed are very loud and very different from my own family. Cassie hid the fact that she was snacking on cheesecake on the ride home and apologized later for not sharing with me, knowing of my deep love for cheesecake. Fortunately someone brought in cheesecake to work today.

German boy had to cancel on me tonight due to illness, so we rescheduled for wed., I'm a little dissapointed, but oh well.

my #1 fan

Looking at my site meter, I am my own #1 fan, and I guess that is rightly so, if you aren't you're own #1 fan, how can you expect anyone else to be a fan.

German guy does not hate me and we have plans for monday. I've also been emailing some musician guy that although he's a musician so far has seemed fairly boring, he writes in very simple sentences anyways, but he claims to have dated Sheila E's little sister, but hasn't met Prince, only been in the same room with him, what a dissapointment.

I'm anticipating a fun filled weekend in Chicago with Cassie, and I should be able to set eyes on Sally, Beth, and MS Flava, look at some good art, and maybe eat a hot dog.

thrown out

I decided if I had no idea what a bunch of numbers on a post-it meant, that it was probably safe to toss it. What if inanimate objects had feelings, what if your purpose was meant to be disposable, like a post-it. Would you try to relish the time you have, fulfilling your duty to the best of your ability, or just half ass it thinking nobody was willing to see your true worth so why even try.

If any of you (Olivia) might be curious about what has come about from my personal ad, I will update y'all. I've hung out with brunch guy since we had brunch a couple times, since he likes punk and is punkish I will call him punk boy. I think we could have a really great relationship if it was strictly online, since we exchange witty and entertaining emails, but in real life I'm not so sure as he is almost in my too weird category (the majority of guys that show interest in me are in this category). Punk boy is definitely weird, but also very smart and nice, not bad looking, and appears to like me a lot, so I am not opposed to hanging out with him at this point.

I met a guy for ice cream on Sat. not expecting much since we didn't email about anything but smalltalk, but he has only lived here a couple months and was looking to meet people here so I agreed to meet him. Physically he was actually more attractive than I thought he'd be, so I was pleasantly surprised in that regard. He was also very nice, talking wasn't too uncomfortable, but overall he kinda bored me.

I had also been exchanging emails with a guy who is currently in Germany for grad school but is from Mpls. With him I've exchanged deeper emails covering religion and relationships mostly, and I am excited to meet him as he returns to MN this week and we are supposed to hang out next week. However I haven't heard from him in a few days so either he's busy preparing for his return or he hates me, which I'm more inclined to think because I'm insecure and freakish like that, even though he has no reason to hate me, and in his last email actually seemed excited to meet me as well.

Since I didn't respond at all to about 95% of my responses figuring I don't have time to keep track of everyone and then meet people and whatnot, that's about it. There were some that intrigued me that I sorta regret not responding to, but oh well, maybe I missed out on the love of my life, that's how it goes sometimes.

Other than my coffee shop crush who I'm trying to pretend to myself that I'm no longer interested in, the guy I really want to see again is the cute guy that talked to me last week as I was going to my car. Hmmm, maybe I can post a missed connection on CL and see what happens....

doing the moron dance

My car was towed this morning, I only carefully read the sign that said 1 hr parking from 9 am-6 pm, since I parked at 8 pm and was going to leave for work by about 8 am, I decided it was all good, had I carefully read the other sign that said no parking from 7-9 am, I would have avoided towing. I feel dumb and rather pissed at myself for being stupid. I should just learn to love being poor because I'm ridiculously moronic when it comes to money, embrace it.

I really like Betsy, I definitely lucked out with my roomate situation, she's wicked cool.

ugh, I'm such a moron.

missing out

I think I may miss the corn maze again this year.

It was a beautiful weekend weather wise. My brother was up in the cities for his b-day on Sat. and so I got to meet all his wacky friends who were quite entertaining. I decided to opt out of going to bondage night at ground zero, something about seeing my brother spanked didn't really appeal to me. He turns 30 this year, thirty is just around the corner for me, how scary.

it's your anniversary

I kinda feel like I should be receiving gifts, some fine crystal, a new cd, jewelry of some sort, except I don't wear much jewelry, maybe a pair of shoes, that's something I could use. That Tony! Toni! Tone! song is in my head.

And I promised a mindblowing post, I was going to think about it last night but was too busy. I thought about doing a hundred things about me post, but it seems to be too late for that.

So I read my first post, and I think I will reflect upon if I've changed in the past year. First of all I still don't have many regular readers besides my friends, and I don't think they even read regularly, and I still worry about revealing my dorkiness. I'm still not over myself as I continue to be obsessed with myself and consequently self concious, however, I feel that I have slightly improved in accepting my idiosyncrasies. I continue to be socially inept but with the advice of my former therapist and friends I am trying to fake it, at least every once in a while. I still talk quietly as people often point this out to me, and then they usually point out that I have a very loud laugh (infectious, as I've been told). A relationship (or non-relationship) ended that needed to end as I was crying on a daily basis and not from happiness. I made a small step towards a goal of trying to figure out what to do other than work here and live in Mpls. My relationship with my family has remained pretty much the same. Friends have come and gone, I've gotten closer to some and grown apart from others, but I still love them a whole lot, and we've gone through some difficult things this past year. I got to explore the good 'ol U.S.A a little.

Hmmm, well not mind-blowing, and no sordid secrets either. But it's my blog, and I'll reflect if I want to.

Happy anniversary to me.

tommorrow

Instead of the crap I write here on a daily basis, I will try to write something profound for my one year blog anniversary. Perhaps I will reveal a shady secret...doubtful, or hmmm I don't know, but it will be at least adequate. If I set high standards then I will hopefully measure up.

Looking at my desk I notice I have several post it notes that I have no idea what they are referring to, yet I can't get rid of them because I fear they may have important info. on them.

under the weather

that's how I'm feeling, I called in late to work, got here and realized I didn't really need to be here.

Beth, if you're listening, you kicked ass on the amazing race, it was so fun to watch you.

If people don't shut up about my tights I may lash out, it may sound weird, but I get upset about people complimenting me sometimes, or more annoyed by it. Yes, I know my tights are cute, that is why I'm wearing them. And yes I get annoyed by stupid things.

what is he thinking?

My Grandpa got hitched last weekend. He's in his mid? late? 80's and married a woman who I think is 49 and he's known for maybe 3 months. This has disturbed my family since we think he's getting swindled. Oh well, not much to be done about it, concern had already been expressed and he clearly did his own thing.

It's starting to get a little chilly. My one year blog anniversary is coming up on friday. Who from Bethel is reading my blog?? Well, whoever it is knows how much of a sinner I am.

so yeah

Well, I posted this tongue in cheek ad on craigslist personals about being homely looking for smokin' hot guy who makes cheesecake and I mentioned that I have a nice rack. So I got several responses...it was quite a witty post really. Anyways I met up with a guy yesterday for brunch, we had exchanged some pretty good emails. So although he isn't quite what I had expected I had an overall good time and he seems to like me. This is my first experiment with internet type dating or whatever so I'm just trying to have fun with it I guess. Coffee shop guy is either uninterested or something so I've kinda given up on him.

U2 was awesome, it was quite thrilling to be in their presence.

Betsy is cool, I haven't been home much to hang out with her and so the getting to know her is going a little slow, but she's very nice and laid back.

I must go home now and laze about.

mikey, she likes me!

Nice to hear from you Sal. Looking forward to reunification someday.

Tonight I meet my new roomate Betsy, and in a couple days I won't have the place to myself anymore. Bummer, but oh well, maybe we'll be great friends.

the aftermath

No good story really. The concert was really good, we unfortunately missed most of Rilo Kiley, but other than the couple Johnny Cash covers Coldplay was good. I like Johnny Cash, but I don't want to hear him via Coldplay. Kevin, my date, well, he was very nice and talked a lot, looked o.k., etc., but not much connection. We did the obligatory we should hang out sometime, but I doubt that will happen. I mean, I got to go for free and he was nice company so I'm not complaining in the slightest.

I'm really tired and my tummy hurts.

stuffed

My small apartment is now stuffed with furniture, I think it makes it cozy, Olivia, I doubt you would be pleased however. I learned I can fit quite a bit into my hatchback.

I just called middle-aged nurse Lori to tell her the u2 ticket is hers if she wants it. I'm excited to go with her, she's like your friend's cool mom, she is so funny.

Hopefully I'll have a good story about my blind date.

my cup runneth over

Lots of stuff on my plate this week. Picking up furniture tonight and attempting to clean my old room for Betsy, Coldplay tomorrow, drawing nude model on wed. and more cleaning, meeting new roommate thurs., BONO and the gang friday, roommate moving in Sat. good grief I'm busy, but at least it is mostly with fun and excitement. I'll be at the Target center twice this week, that is ridiculous.

I kinda want a Mr. beer home brewing kit, wouldn't it be fun to make your own beer.

Went to the dentist today, and unfortunately the tooth that I already poured a few hundred into for root canal and crown needs another root canal. I have to go to a specialist and have some surgical procedure done. At least my other teeth are fine. I think my hygenest was high.

Hey Olivia

Does the naked squirrel man have curly gray hair?? If so he's been lingering on the sidewalk near our house or across the street. Last night he was across the street just staring at the yard, house or tree, it was bizarre (yet fascinating), not that I expect normal behavior from the guy.

For the rest of you: Naked squirrel man is a man that lives in the second floor of the apartment building next door. He often leaves his window open in hopes that he will befriend a squirrel. He has a squirrel feeder by the window and gets angry at pigeons who try to partake in the squirrel food. I have never been witness to his nakedness (only shirtless), but Olivia has had the pleasure twice or thrice, apparently the window perfectly frames his manhood from the nipple line down to mid-thigh.

I won

I am the winner of going on a blind date to see Coldplay and Rilo Kiley tuesday night, apparently writing in complete sentences is a good thing. I love craigslist, I've found a roomate, rugs, lamp(s?), a date and free ticket for coldplay, free TV stand and potential table all in the past couple weeks.

Went to the Walker last night with Cassie and Eli, for the first time since they remodeled it to see the Chuck Close exhibit. Ran into old high school acquiantances, college acquaintance and our painting prof at Bethel. Did a fun project where we could manipulate a polaroid picture of ourselves.

I'm practically falling asleep at my desk, I have been staying up later than I should, and there is a variety of noises the cats make throughout the night that wake me, like scratching the plastic of the litter box, and Lucy needing love every morning between 5:30 and 6 a.m., she ignores me at any decent hour. Last night was kind of a bizarre night as well and I didn't sleep well, thinking about stuff.

What is going on with my coffee shop love interest you ask? A whole lot of nothing...well, I felt mildly rejected the other day, just mildly. I can't read him very well, but we seem to at least be in buddy status, and that's cool with me.

one of those days

Today is kind of one of those days where you (or I specifically) want to live in a hole away from society. Like that book about that boy who lives in the tree which I can never remember the name of but Olivia knows. I'm feeling sorta like a freak of nature, I'm far too self-concious and I don't like it, I notice my heart racing and my hands shaking when I'm in social situations in which I don't feel comfortable, unless that is normal, I don't know. Ignorance is bliss, I'm not quite ignorant enough, close but no cigar.

I'm gonna fix me up a salad, I'm hungry.

it's that time of year

for the Corn Maze! This year I may have a friend that might go with me. I want to conquer the corn maze.

I sold my second item on Ebay.

GG premier was satisfying.

Sarah Fuj, if you read this still, I hope your move went well and you are surviving the ghetto, call me. And Sally, I still want to be your friend, call me, and MS flava (and Sally), I'm coming to Chicago the weekend of Oct. 8-9th, if you want to see the Toulouse-Latrec exhibit with us, let me know.

Allright, back to the mound of work I have....

yeehaw!

Middle aged nurse Lori might go see Bono with me, she may be middle aged, but she kicks ass.

don't let me down

I burned my tongue on my pot pie, I guess I should feel lucky that I have a tongue.

I just learned that I no longer have a concert going friend to see Bono with...so I'll probably be rockin' out by myself with strangers, excellent.

Maybe I should wear false eyelashes, just for fun, along with our previous wig wearing plan.

Annoying nurse has returned from her trip, a much needed break. She demonstrated an italian kiss on me, she didn't actually kiss me but got a little closer than I would have liked. I'm not a touchy feely sort by any means so I value my personal space. She did bring chocolate back so I will cut her some slack.

Things are progressing nicely with my coffeeshop crush. I would go into further detail but have an irrational fear that he or someone that hangs out at the shop reads this, highly unlikely, but possible (since someone googled the shop name and got to my site), and then my crush would be revealed. Not that I'm not easily read anyways, since I'm a general dork, but even bigger dork around someone I like. In any case we have plans to hang out outside the shop realm this week.

what do you do when?

work is super busy, say 2 months behind in admitting not to mention all the other shit that will get behind while we are busy trying to catch up....

you change your blog colors

once again

Apparently an open box is too easily mistaken for a litter box, as I caught Lucy in the act this morning. I'm not sure what her confusion is, she's lucky she is cute and far less annoying than George otherwise she'd be way less forgiveable for ruining a lot of stickers.

I'm hoping to hit up some Garage sales this weekend, clean, perhaps the farmers market, I have to work too, maybe catch a movie, church, etc., etc.

away from home

In an attempt to get our data entry caught up we have been displaced to another office building more free of distractions such as phones, annoying nurses, a more watchful eye to deter any unneccesary web surfing. Nice actually, I feel like I'm accomplishing a worthwhile amount of work. Other than butting heads with co-workers over music selection (my taste in music being impeccable of course), and the cold it is quite lovely here. Clean, nice colors, windows, quiet instead of the dump where I work.

I have a new roomate named Betsy, won't meet her until she moves in in a couple weeks since she is in Montana right now. I haven't lived with anyone I've not known since freshman year of college, but from our brief conversations she sounds nice and laid back, hopefully we will get along fine. Considering roomate hell of last year not much can be worse.

The cat peed on the church curriculum for some reason, I realize I changed litter brands on them but that was a few days ago and they seemed to adjust after the peeing in my clothes basket incident. If it was George, I had wondered if he was possesed the other day, the way the light was hitting his eyes made him look psychotic, and he kept making this odd sound. So perhaps the demon that has taken over George's small body just doesn't want children to learn about Jesus.

buffalo pals

Part 3: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

-Upon arrival at the barns, we noticed a barricade made of a trailor and a man explaining to us that the barns were closed because they were changing the animals. No big pig for us.

-We walked by the dairy barn which sells excellent milkshakes. I pondered getting one, but was feeling the aftereffects of the deep fried snicker, which on its own does some damage. Add a milkshake to that and I don't even want to know what I'd be putting my body through.

-There was no bonsai or orchid display in the horticulture buiding, a dissapointment, but we did not despair. We admired some displays, some of which were done by Sarah's previous employer. I had a heck of a time looking at the flowers that had been in competition, espedailly the theme display's like dinner time, or fireworks, and other random categories.

-Onward to the Fine Arts buiding, feeling the time crunch. Having had my own submission to the State Fair show rejected a few years back, I always am interested to see what meets their standards as a fine piece of art. I learned that if I do a cheesy painting of a young lad sitting in the grass with his faithful friend, not only will my piece be accepted, but it will receive an honorable mention.

-With that said there was a fair amount worth seeing, and it was dissapointing that it closed before we were able to thoroughly peruse the entire building.

-Bull Bites and a beer were calling out to us with their siren song. Having already spent far more money than I had budgeted, I passed on my own order and just munched on Cassie's generous offering to share. As I finished my honeyweiss, I went to catch the tail end of the Temptations cover band they had in the bandshell, hoping to see some good dancing. I was more entertained by the random crowd and the number of middle aged women bustin' a move.

-Thankfully Cassie agreed to go to the Haunted House with me. Normal haunted house type stuff to make you scream and get your heart racing. Some dude whipping a chain that wouldn't let Cassie by until she asked him, and a scary swamp monster that was well concealed were the most memorable.

-It was late and we were worn, tired, but not hungry. The delimma was now the bus ride back to the car. This time we had Coby and the stroller. Sarah and the babe were forced to the back of the bus by the crowd while Cassie and I were left to listen to drunk obnoxious teenagers.

-Finally the bus stopped at the church, and someone kindly helped Sarah get Coby off the bus. I was dropped off at my car. We wished eachother goodnight.

The end.

where are you?

I spend 2 full weeks with Sally after not seeing or hardly talking to her for a couple months, then she up and moves to Chicago and hardly keeps in touch. Sally, where's the love??

My coffeeshop crush did a little freestyle rap about me yesterday. I found it to be quite endearing. Now to continues the saga of our fair experience.

Part 2: The Food

-After Cassie and I get our $9 tickets and go through the gates, I head to the 4-h building to use the restroom and she heads over the the 3rd Lair to meet up with Sarah, Nixon, Coby and Emily and to find an ATM. The 4-H building is eerily quiet and I wonder why no one is looking at the exhibits, one of my favorite fair activities. The bathroom is nice and clean however.

-I walk over to the 3rd Lair and sit down with Nixon, Coby is in his stroller fascinated by a pinwheel, and Emily is marching around with a furry hat. Nixon and I exchange pleasantries and wait for Sarah and Cassie to return.

-Sarah and Cassie get back, and Sarah needs to feed Coby, Cassie and I are also hungry so off we go. I coerce Cassie to go to the Food building, she looks less than thrilled. Several options catch our eye, but we ended up being torn between the Sausage Sisters and Walleye on a stick. We put our heads together and formulated a plan. We would share the Sausage Sisters, and each get our own Walleye on a stick, then would maybe get cheesecurds later to share

-Perfect timing as we meet back up with Sarah, who had just finished feeding Coby. Nixon and Emily had gone, so it was us girls and the baby. Items on our agenda are as follows; Horticulture building (hoping that the bonsai and orchids were on display), Fine Arts building, the big pig, and I had my heart set on the haunted house.

-On our way to the horticulture building we spy the deep fried candybar booth. Cassie and I had already discussed our want for a deep fried snickers, and Sarah expressed interest as well. We each purchased our treats, and after biting into the sweetness decide we must get the all you can drink milk. We delayed our trip to the horticulture building and forged on to the milk booth.

-On the way I brag to Cassie and Sarah about my 4-H achievements at the Steele County Fair. Champion Indoor Gardening (yet these days I have difficulty keeping plants alive), Reserve Champion fine arts, Reserve Champion photography (but my dad actually took the picture, well, practically), Grand Champion market lamb, to name a few.

-Upon our arrival, co-worker Alyssa surprises me with baby Leah strapped to her stomach, and gets me excited about milk. Introductions are made and she and I bitch a little and exchange a bit of office gossip. Since I was going to be working in another office the next day, we planned to correspond via email, as she had a story to tell me that was apparently innapropriate to talk about right then.

-Sarah and I partake in 2 glasses of ice cold, refreshing 2% milk, Cassie did not partake of the milk.

-Since we were close to the barns we further postpone the horticulture building in hopes of seeing the Big Pig.

myblogsux.blogspot.com

I would use that except its already been used. But really, I read back upon recent entries and feel they are rather....mundane. They might be of interest to my small group of friends but even then I don't know. Last night as we were piling into Cassie's new ride, excited that baby Coby's stroller fit in the back of her scion, I said, "I'll put that in my blog", which I just did, also stating that it would probably be more exciting than what I usually write on here.

Here's a step by step synopsis of our time at the Great Minnesota get Together a.k.a. the State Fair.

Part 1: The Quest

-Cassie and I are back and forth on our cell phones, trying to figure out where to meet b/c she's stuck in traffic, I suggest the Har Mar b/c I believe they have a park and ride, she agrees to meet there in front of Frank's, but she really means Michael's.

-I stop at good 'ol M+S coffeehouse since I was in the vicinity and hadn't checked it out since they remodeled. Hilde and Mark were there and I said hello. The interior was shockingly different, if I didn't have such fond memories of what M+S was I would think it was nice, but instead I felt some dissapointment. I got a coffee however, and noticed they had some delectable new treats. I made note of that and decided I would give the new M+S a chance in order to taste said treats.

-I figure I should bust to the Har Mar, I get there and there is in fact, no park and ride such as they have had in years past. I park to call the busline to find another park and ride, figuring it will take Cassie a few more minutes to arrive. But, I received a call from her while on hold with the busline, she was at Michael's, she said to come over and I could take her spot and hop in her vehicle. I drive for approximately 38-51 seconds, she backs out of her spot and as I'm waiting I take note that there is an open spot directly across from hers, not to mention several in the rows behind.

-We find another park and ride, this one at a church. Cassie informs me that that is where she went to church before going to HOM.

-I slightly need to go potty so as we are waiting I ask the park and ride guy if there is a bathroom open in the church. He looks at me and points in a random direction, then says something about a sattelite. I'm sure I had a quizzical look on my face b/c I did not know sattelite was another word for biffy. He informed me as much. I decided I could hold it. The old man came over later and looked at me intensly, apparently trying to determine how badly I needed to pee.

-Cassie and I take a seat on the bus, and the bus drives over to the HS. A mass of High Schooler's get on the bus. Taking the seats across from us are a young couple, the young lady wearing a nice blouse that enhanced her ample cleavage. I asked Cassie if she agreed that the young lady's shirt was rather fancy to be going to the fair where you walk around and eat greasy food, go on rides, play games, look at livestock, or just walk amongst crowds of gross sweaty people. We also pondered High School relationships shortly.

-We get off the bus and light a smoke upon arrival at the fair gates. I think about the possibility of running into my family.

I get to stay!

Olivia on my behalf suggested to our landlord that he should let me stay and lower the rent, and he was totally fine with that. We are darn good tenants, Olivia and I. So I no longer have to stress about finding an apartment, I don't have to pack and move, I get to enjoy my happy porch! I also have a roomate possibility for a couple months anyways. My car is fixed, all is right with the world.

goodbye

So long sweet Olivia, I will miss you even though I have George and Lucy to keep me company, although Lucy doesn't talk much and George complains a lot. We will be intending for you to have a fulfilling time in europe, I look forward to hearing about your adventures there.

I'm starving, and hungover.

intentions

Jenni talked about how God will answer our intentions (or prayer) last night, my car started as proof of fulfilled intentions, unfortunately it won't start without a jump which is setting me back about $300. However, my car starting was enough to get me being more intentful with my intentions, hopefully.

Olivia, Cassie and Kevin, with whom we haven't spent quality time with in forever, went and saw Star Wars at the cheap seats, I hadn't seen it yet, and when Anakin turned to the dark side I cried, and continued to cry from then on although I didn't really care about Padme.

she's gone!!

The nurse I hate is leaving for vacation! Every time she asks me to do something I feel like a whiny child who wants to throw a tantrum. Her demeanor, the way she asks in that whiny annoying voice of hers....ahh, sweet relief for at least 2 weeks!! She just half-hugged me as though I want to be touched by her.

I pretty much have a hard time thinking about anything other than where I'm going to live. I have looked at several apartments, some cute but too much, some cute but taken, some fine but nothing special other than they are in my price range. I'm hoping to gather a person or 2 toghether to look at 2 or 3 BR since we'd get more bang for our buck. So far I've had a couple responses, so we'll see if that pans out. I'm truly obsessed.

I sold a pair of pants on Ebay, my first sell!! I also had a successful partylite party last night, although I got sweaty and had forgotten to deoderize as usual, damn it, I hope any odor doesn't deter those ladies from buying.

Slumber party tonight with the girls minus Jenni to see Olivia off in proper old times fashion, but it will only be like old times if we get silly drunk.

nice visuals

at our staff meeting this morning, I learned a great deal of breastfeeding information, along with excellent demonstrations done on the nurses own breasts (with clothes on, to not give you the impression that there are exposed bosoms around here). I'm sure this will be very helpful if ever I find myself lactating someday.

surreal life

My coworker saw Flava Flav on her vacation.

I'm trying to read "Knowing Jesus" by James Allison, I'm having a somewhat difficult time understanding it. Of course I read it at the coffee shop which is kinda distracting, but I don't read much at home because I will usually opt for TV. I was hoping it would stimulate some brain activity but it is apparently over my head since I can't think about anything that has grabbed me, which dissapoints me becasue his lecture in person was so thought provoking.

I need a haircut/color, money, sleep and any suggestions on making stale tortilla chips unstale. Oh, and a fabulous place to live for Oct. 1st., and motivation to excersize.

crazies

Olivia and I agree that the people who live in our building are weird. There is our landlord, who may be on drugs, he's generally friendly and has always been a little strange, but is getting stranger now that we are moving out, shady like. Then there is the girl who lives in the efficiency down the hall and comes over to bum smokes sometimes. She's convinced that the landlord stole something from her apartment, and has been acting really strange lately. She asked me if I wanted to room with her but told Olivia that she needs to live alone, which is good b/c I'm scared of her, she is nice but seems really moody. I don't know if the hot guy that recently moved in upstairs is crazy, all I know is that he looks really good in running shorts and is gay.

Its probably a good thing I'm moving.

I have a knack for

spilling cold water on myself.

I need to stop my obsession with craigslist/looking for an apartment. Most apartments listed now are for Sept. and will probably be rented anyways before Oct. so I need to have patience.

excellent

Hey I think I found a place that might work!

"This is free rent to the right female! Looking for 18-35 years old. This can be a monthly free rent... What I need is a no strings attached "relationship". I am way to busy to have a girlfriend, but would be nice to have someone to come home and have some fun once in a while. send picture and we can talk."

I'm totally kidding, but I saw that on craigslist.

I'm feeling overwhelmed by options at the moment, should I live with someone? alone? where? who?

I had a surprisingly fun weekend with my family. My sister, brother in law, my 2 nieces and nephew were visiting. I love my sister and her family, but our relationship isn't as close as it used to be so I sometimes get dissapointed when I spend time with them, and I thought my nephew hated me. However, I got along fine with Ben, Elle and Jade are really fun girls, Tom insisted that I come visit sometime soon, or else take a trip to Canada with them. I was offered a room at my mother's house, which I tried to politely decline. We of course had to put in time at the Steele county fair, which brought back memories of my sheep shearing, steer/heifer wieldng 4-H days.

I'm pleased to learn that MS flava has started a blog of his own, which has been promptly added to my favorites links as ready bare chested, check it out, a former journalist with nothing and everything to say.

My brain is in shutdown mode, I feel like I haven't had hardly an intelligent thought in several weeks.

finally

It has been revealed that our amazing buddy Beth will be on the next season of the amazing race!!

okay

no more photos...for now anyways, some shots of our time in Chicago.

It is so good to have Cassie back, she adds an element to our friend group that can't be replaced, but now Olivia is leaving, so we have someone else to miss.

relaxed

relaxed
Originally uploaded by snielson.

Sally and MS flava

Sally and MS flava
Originally uploaded by snielson.

Beth, Sally and myself

Tim, Michael, and Sally enjoying some coffee.

new favorite

Last night I told a tale involving Fujipants, which included "Big Buck Hunter" and "hand job" at a church function last night. Then we went and played said game after watching Polka Luau at Mayslacks. That game makes me swear like a sailor...or a redneck.

Mrs. Sanders

Before we left my sister's, she had a deep concern for Mrs. Sanders, a foster cat, who was missing. She was not perched in her normal favorite spot on the shelf by the microwave, nor did she come out for the tuna treats. I hope Mrs. Sanders is safe.

Sally on dino
Originally uploaded by snielson.

Some gas station somewhere on the road.

rainy denver
Originally uploaded by snielson.

supposedly it never rains in Denver...myself(Shawnapants) and Fujipants(Sarah).

me and tedster
Originally uploaded by snielson.

Hanging with the Tedster in the red canyon, he's quite the ham.

me and fam
Originally uploaded by snielson.

Looking like I can stand to lose a few (I'll just blame it on elevation related bloating), and why do I look so awkward?, maybe the 16 hrs in the SUVizzle...that's me, nephew Teddy, brother-in-law Phil, and my sister Romaine, with ? in her uterus.

Onto Phase 2

A couple pictures of our first phase (Minneapolis to San Diego) coming to a close.

coffee and cigarettes

coffee and cigarettes
Originally uploaded by snielson.

we could actually smoke inside here, Sally looks very tan.

pensive

pensive
Originally uploaded by snielson.


At the great coffee shop in DT San Diego our last night there, this is a great shot of the 'ol schnoz.

disclaimer

I am not angry at Sally for backing out on moving in with me, annoyed, yes (not with Sally, with having to move my shit again), dissapointed, definately. I know its not her personal vendetta against me or anything and I understand why she wants to move, and she is also a good friend that is willing to go out and have fun and try new things and I will miss her.

Thought I'd clear that up since I probably come off as being bitter and angry, when in fact I quite enjoy Sally.

On that note I have some showings next week for studio apartments. I'm almost positive I scheduled one of the the showings with the "lesbian" sex buddy of He who shall not be named, so I'm pretty excited about that opportunity to chat with her. And some girl emailed me asking if I possibly wanted to find something with her, although she has not gotten back to me so maybe she decided I was a huge nerd.

Good grief, I still feel disheveled from my travels, and people are coming and going and whatnot, I need a nap.

all of God's creations

A few pics from our time at the zoo in San Diego. We saw a Panda, but they did not have walruses which are my favorite, so I tried to get a good picture with the Polar Bear, which is another favorite animal, but there were kids everywhere that kept hogging the window space.

Don't worry, there are more pics to come....

croc
Originally uploaded by snielson.

polar bear
Originally uploaded by snielson.

You can see the bear somewhere back there...there were kids crowded by the glass so we couldn't get a great shot. It's like, hello, I realize you are 10 and I'm 26, but I'd like to see the Polar Bear too, let someone else have a turn.

Polar Bear 2 (to the right of my head)

Sally with camel
Originally uploaded by snielson.

Sally with peacock
Originally uploaded by snielson.

who stole

my half and halfs that I take from McDonald's? even the partially used one's. That is really annoying (and sick), I steal those for myself, not to share with others in the office.

My pics are ready, be prepared.

obsessed again

with finding an apartment, since Sally decided to leave me high and dry (insert Radiohead here) to pursue other....things. I will restrain from villifying her here on this blog since I did my best to make her feel guilty enough about it last night, just will state once again how I love my neighborhood and my happy porch and my cute room with its sink and our small but cute home, it will be sorely missed, and I'm trying to hold back the tears. I don't need a place until Oct. 1st, but of course I spent all morning looking instead of working, so I'm way ahead of myself. I will either have to live with strangers or find a studio apartment it appears, there seems to be options though, probably not with a happy porch, but options.

Thank you Michael for your part in satisfying my cheesecake obsession, it is quite tasty. I also recommend the Nature Valley Sweet and Salty nut granola bars, I'm obsessed with them as well.

And still obsessed with Ebay.

Saw my buddy's last night at the local shop for the first time since I've been back Shawn, Sammy, lecherous old man, my crush, and my potential stalker....so good to see them all again. Lecherous old man gave me a book, which was nice I guess, he is a fine person, just lecherous.

Lots of changes, Cassie returneth tonight, can't wait to set eyes on her at Psycho Suzi's later this evening. Olivia is off to Europe in like 3 weeks or something, Sally is moving to the windy city.

the grind

Back to my dark sad cube, unemployment seems to be the trend these days, wish I could afford to give it a shot. Had a lovely vacation though, lots of fun and good company, I will try and develop my pics soon and post a few. I enjoyed my time in Chicago; friends, coffee, cigarettes, alchohol, x games and the windy city, and lets not forget the hot dog.

Its good to be back though, Sally and I made a quick run to the RD when we arrived in Mpls, it was like seeing an old friend. I will be seeing Cassie on Wednesday, her big move to MN as well and I can't wait.

the lovely midwest

Back in the midwest, Chicago. Packed in a lot of activity in the past couple days, mostly spent in the SUVizzle. Stopped in at my sister's with her horde of cats (at least 20, possibly more), a ridiculous amount of cats in fact. We were privelaged to sleep in the room where a mom and kittens were kept who apparently were ill and have diarrhea, that my sister didn't move until the last possible minute before we were going to sleep. Thankfully the incense and the open window eliminated much of the stench that was previously present. My nephew is great, very cute and funny and I also learned my sister is expecting again late October. Yes that is in 3 months and I just found out, prime example of the great communication in our family. We also went on a lovely hike at the red canyon and ate some Gyro's that were possibly contaminated. Yesterday we stopped in Denver to meet up with Fujipants, a nice city that Denver is.

So we are rested and ready to go out and about in Chi-town, sure nice to be back in the midwest.

pain continued...

my ass still hurts, mostly sitting, walking is much more bearable now. Its the worst when you are stuck to your chair.

The time is flying here, we leave CA on tuesday, bust a move to Colorado to see my sis and her fam., and the infamous fujipants. Then we are going to "swing through" Chicago for a minute. Only two more days of beach, I was hoping to be more healed, but it is a slow process.

Was a drunken dancin' fool last night at da club, almost fell down the stairs trying to grab some dudes ass, I do that from time to time when I've imbibed a bit, not the falling down the stairs (chairs on the other hand...), but the ass grabbing I mean.

pain

I underestimated the power of the SPF 8 to protect me from the rays, especially those parts of me almost never exposed to the sun, and my apparent haphazard application method didn't help either. The swelling in my eyelids seems to have gone down a bit throughout the day. I'm hoping that miraculous healing will commence overnight so that I can face the sun again tomorrow.

So today was spent lounging about, there was no motivation to do anything other than watch vh1, pretty sad really, but I figure my body is healing and we were out late last night Salsa-ing, the advil and red bull/vodka's stripped away the pain of my charred skin. Unfortunately the only good dancer I danced with was literally soaked in sweat, like dripping wet, he was still cute though and he kept apologizing. After we had to put up with Ramon who ate tacos with us and was fairly annoying.

Tomorrow is another day. Hopefuly beach time, then downtown San Diego for shopping and hip hop, tonight we may enjoy a dip in the neighbors pool (Sally is feeding the dogs while he's out of town), in the schnude of course.

pleasantries

Out on the stoop, smoking, a cup of Joe, great company with Sally and M.S., fantastic hospitality has been my experience upon waking in CA. Shortly we will be on the road to Tijuana, and hopefully a little beach time later. Had my first real sushi experience and I'm feeling the love. I'm just enjoying the relaxation and having no agenda, and Diego the frisky cat.

surprisingly

when I stepped out of the office last night the weather was perfect, which really made me mad that I decided to be nice and stay and get work done. Of course when I got home I didn't really know what to do with myself....usually I go to church and go out after but I didn't go to church and did not go out after...I was slightly productive doing a bit of laundry and packing, but I had one beer and it put me in a weird mood, as if I wanted to think deeply but couldn't, or maybe that was just the beer buzz. I tried to call Cassie, and after being told her phone was busy or dissconnected I figured I wasn't going to reach her, and her cell phone is more expensive to call and she didn't answer that either. So I wished I had a couple more beers laying about or that it wasn't sunday. I went to get some ice tea and write in my journal in the hopes that life changing insights would flow from my pen, but all I wrote about was relationships, nostalgia, and how I should draw, basically I wrote about the things that haven't changed, or changed despite my trying or hoping otherwise. I listened in on the normal political conversations that take place, thinking I should try to learn something about current events but my mind was elsewhere. It is futile to avoid lecherous old guy since he is there pretty much at all times, and is usually with other people that I enjoy talking to. Politics just don't hold my interest. I prefer to talk about life, which includes politics, especially if you are actually doing something tangible towards what you believe, but don't normally feel connected to someone after learning their political views. My circle of true friends keeps getting smaller. Is there a word for someone between a friend and acquaintance?

for real, its hot as balls

Yet I'm comfortable cool in my air conditioned office at work on sunday until 7:30, and I missed my time with the Lord and fellowship with believers (church) so I'm slightly irritated. Why I am at the office beyond the usually acceptable 8 hours is b/c nothing makes sense around here and we are familiarizing ourselves with 2 new computer systems. I've been working like a fiend lately anyways so it doesn't matter, tomorrow is my last day of work before I'm on vacation so I can suck it up, I only wish I had enough $$ to buy some new clothes for the trip.

Soon I will be off to the sweltering outdoors, gotta love MN, there is a few days of great weather in between the freezing ass cold days and 100% humidity in the 90's days, like ten or so. Of course its not that bad, but good grief, holy heat wave. Anyone remember the game lemonade stand or something like that that was played in elementary school on those old apple computers, that and Oregon trail, which by the way, Jenny P and I kicked serious ass in, we were first to arrive in our westward home every time....I used to be so smart. I was quite handy the other night however, I dismantled a pipe and retrieved my ring that I dropped down the drain, I guess technically the pipe dismantling only required some unscrewing and screwing which really isn't that impressive after all.

For some reason even if I'm bone tired, which I generally have been, I feel the need to stay awake until 1 or 2 in the morning. It must be all that vitamin D cause after I get over my morning grogginess I'm pretty much raring to go, very odd this energy...time to go and get some laundry, perhaps packing done.

ding dong

the witch (of the office) is gone, off for a couple days, then I'm on my vacation so I won't be seeing her for a couple weeks. Actually, she and I get along fine, I think because I worked here before she became our "manager" so she doesn't get on as much of a power trip with me as the others that started post her promotion. She just micro-manages yet does not know how to do any of the work that we actually do daily to make things run, so she has no concept, everyone else around here hates her (but is generally nice to her face). Her jangly bracelet drives me nuts.

Feeling worn out, trying to get things done that must be finished before I leave, trying to make as much $$ as possible. Must say have so much more energy in warm weather months obviously from regular sun exposure...require much less sleep to function. Ebay addiction....was not on it for several weeks now cannot stop browsing, in need of new clothing is why, so much fun to see what can be obtained for such bargain prices.

Trying to avoid lecherous old (40ish) guy at local shop who felt the need to express his attraction towards me....apparently thinking that I may possibly be attracted to someone who is short, balding and in need of exercise, and not having the most attractive personality either. I suppose because I'm nice and will chat (too nice perhaps). Once again I attract the weird ones, I continue to feel grossed out although occurance was a few days ago. Unfortunately there is a guy there that I would actually like to know better, such a delimma it is.

sassy

feeling quite sassy today, my sarcasm is top notch if I do say so myself. I just overheard that I am quickly becoming favorite person in office by fellow employee. Of course.

Had a dream last night that I was very pregnant, yet still drinking and smoking, and father of baby was he who broke my heart....who took it rather well in the dream, was kind and caring, so knew then that it must be a dream. However chances of having ugly baby with said man would be slim, to look on the bright side.

Mac and cheese made with rice pasta is not to my liking, been eating far too much Mac and cheese as I have been too lazy to go to the grocery store, watching Felicity is far more important than buying and eating food that contains important nutrients.

Hoping that a certain someone (name starting with a J and ending with an I, or R, or even H, depending on how you look at it) will join me for happy hour post work, my treat, since I'm LEAVING FOR CALIFORNIA, in less than one week if I hadn't yet mentioned and will be on vacation for THIRTEEN DAYS. Other than summer break before old enough to have a job, this will be the longest vacation of my life thus far. I love that we still get paid for not working, possibly the best part of having a "real job".

Was doing some work at the local shop last night, feeling inadequate b/c of attractive, smart, funny, creative woman with nicely toned midriff shown off by short shirt who actually talks and makes intelligible sentences. Feeling a little strange about going there lately, kind of preferred my days of being unknown and able to self reflect without interruption or awkwardness, yet cannot stop myself from going, has become quite the habit, along with mild attraction towards regular....who happened to frolic off with young lady with nicely toned midriff to watch a movie. Will not let it get me down, especially since I'm GOING TO CALIFORNIA and will have such a grand time that any troubles will be burned from my brain by the sun that I plan on basking in for hours on end.

music at the park

don't know if this is going to show up...
Originally uploaded by snielson.

so much to say....

or not so much to say....

Went to the park last night with Petra and her russian roomate for the free concert and movie series on monday nights, although we didn't stay for the movie so much since the band was late and Petra had studying to do. We saw the guy that used to work at the art supply store that we all thought was cute, he was sitting right behind us, Petra asked him to autograph her postcard that she had just received from said art store, it was funny, but he declined. That russian, she sure can dance, me, not so much unless intoxication or very silly mood is involved. Dance is so key to other cultures, and not just the club dancing we do in the states, their own music and dance. I think about dancing in heaven and some of the wild dancing there is out there, its funny to think of, except I doubt there will be much bumping and grinding, maybe between husbands and wives.

Have I mentioned yet how excited I am to go to CA, how desperate I am for a vacation and laying about in the sun getting my vit. D, and seeing Fuj, and seeing my sister and coming home and knowing Cassie will be back, or back very soon. Well, I'm very excited, and then my other sis comes in mid-august for a visit, good things ahead.

what if I have an ugly baby?

Went to O-town to get a look at Kris and Heather's baby, a cute one. Not that I feel I'm for sure going to have a baby, but what if I have an ugly baby...oh well, I'll cross that bridge if I come to it.

One week from tomorrow I will be in CA, quite a lengthy vacation.

Snickers Ice cream bar is calling my name...

assured

Went to Rachael's funeral yesterday, woke up this morning with the hymn "Blessed Assurance" running through my mind, one of her favorites.

It got me thinking about this "blessed assurance", a beautiful thing no doubt. Why would I deserve to have blessed assurance, when I don't know that I live differently from those who choose for whatever reason to not have that assurance, at least in the way that many christians believe, as in I am the way, the truth, the life no one gets to the father but through me situation. Just because I say I believe? when other's claim to not and yet act with such kindness and inclusion, do they have the blessed assurance?, and why not since their actions are more in line with what Jesus was talking about than mine. Honestly I've never bought that anyways, whatever the Bible says, I figure there is some interpretation to justify my view. What a jumbled up huge mess religion is...However, I suppose that is also the beautiful thing about it all, the mercy, the washing of the blood, doesn't make much sense at all, doesn't have to is what I like to think, since then I don't have to think about it as much, I'm hoping that if you break it down to Jesus loves me this I know, and turn it around as best you can, remaining as close to our creator as you can... Rachael will be pleased that she got me thinking anyways.

Sadness the past few days over the death of a friend, Rachael, who was killed in a car accident on Sat. So, many of us are feeling the loss of her presence, very smart, witty, beautiful, had recently gotten married to our friend Alex. Trying to make sense of it, thankful we have our faith, and for Rachael's faith, feeling for those closest to her, not sure of how to respond, feeling guilty for continuing to live and laugh, even though you know its necessary and how she'd want it. Evaluating friendships and people coming together, still very sad and she will be missed.

spiritual warfare

I almost had to spend the night at church last night, I was getting some work done (I do menial tasks for Jenny P. the early childhood pastor there), and the janitor or maintenance guy whatever he's called locked the office, which had my keys, purse, cell phone, any access to a phone number of anyone who might be able to help me, I didn't know anyones last name to look them up in the phone book, and about had a panic attack feeling trapped at church. I don't believe I sent up a prayer, just was internally freaking out while searching for any number I could find, or any name of someone that might be able to help me and hope they had a listed number, but thankfully someone showed up who had a key, and he was like, you're lucky, I don't usually stop by here like this, so I thanked God several times for providing. Churches can be really creepy at night.

So I switched cell phone service, and I can't say I have been impressed thus far with this provider who supposedly has the "best coverage" and "great customer service", since my phone is cutting out when I'm at home, nor was I impressed by the customer service, I hardly received any direction about activating my new phone, which I've had for over a week, I sent emails which were not answered, and called customer service, who also were pretty vague about what I was supposed to do....Well, whatever, I guess I'm stuck now unless I want to pay the early disconnection charge, which I don't.

And I hate money, or lack of money, I must be a hermit and spend no money until next week, or sell my plasma, and I better start riding my bike to work since gas is ridiculously expensive.

mystery solved

Osgood-Schlatters, that is what caused the bony lump on my knee, which apparently is caused during adolescence when the thigh muscle is used and pulls the tendon from the bone, sounds pleasant huh? In any case a permanant, but painless lump may form (which I have), well, it can cause pain when an adult kneels (which it does). I had known that already cause my sister, the brilliant and charming MD of the family had told me at one point, but I spent the morning reading up on my condition instead of diligently working on admitting charts, which we are desperately behind on. I was dissapointed to learn that this affliction is normally is related to a child being athletic, so I happen to be the random case of it occuring in a sedentary and chubby child, oh wait, I was forced to be in 4-h softball, and tae kwon do for a time. So there you go Jenni, you were close...

Watched "adaptation" last night w/Jenni, can relate more than would like with Charlie, excepting the genius artist reputation...all in due time however, once I get my ass in gear....pesky fear and inability to interact effectively with others without aid of alchohol keeps getting in the way, I just need to learn to channel my insecurity into beautifully tragic pieces of art.

stir crazy

I'm feeling so antsy lately, clearly I'm bored with my job, but I'm sticking it out until I am ready to move in order to save up some money, haha, as if its possible for me to save money, since I'm a moron to the tenth degree when it comes to money...

But anyways...

The woman who sits at the desk next to me...the "Lead NSC", who doesn't actually know how to do any of the work the rest of us do nor does she understand the work flow...well, she has a charm bracelet or something on her that jangles all the time, and I find it very irritating, that and her sighing all the time.

desolate

I felt lonely this holiday weekend, well, Olivia was around, but she was working, and then left on her road trip sunday afternoon, everyone else I'm close to was gone, out of town, state or country. My neighborhood felt empty, people had left the city for cabins and lakes. I am often alone, and can generally amuse myself easily, yesterday I missed people. Maybe it was the remembrances of years past at this time with the girls, last year camping on Madeline Island. The year before they rallied to help me with my broken heart. And I miss our ability to see eachother as easily, too many life changes, with more to come....I guess that is the way of it.

However, I was social, I went to coworker/friend's home which consisted of a few other coworker/friends, and grilling, and me drinking beer, the only one drinking, being acutely aware that I was the only one drinking. I did not become too much of a spectacle though, and I quit while I was ahead.

I also went jogging, after months of inactivity, and I was pleasantly surprised by my level of endurance, I maintained a snail, but steady pace. I think that was my fear, that I'd get out there and jog a quarter of a mile and be gasping, but it was good, except for my sore legs the past couple days.

tasty morsel

I stopped at the bakery this morning, where they have extremely tasty pastries. One with chocolate and fresh raspberries, so yummy.

I'm thankful for the three day weekend, am going to coworkers for BBQ on monday, that is the extent of my plans. Wish I could be chillin' with the girls, but they will be out of town, seeing as how I may drink too much with coworkers and become potential sourse of ongoing office amusement.