Perhaps a little melodramatic the other day, still in a state of major confusion but well, it's not that bad. I think I maybe sorta got offered a job at my internship, at least I got a "you should apply for a job here", which I think I might. The place is starting to grow on me plus the owner wants to hire people so he "can get out of the kitchen and work on the business", which means he won't be their judging me and making me nervous and sweaty. He wasn't there today and frankly, I had a darn good time, my potential future co-workers are pretty funny, and I was relaxed and funny too.

Roomies Jake and Kat, after saying they wanted to stay put in our current apartment, have now decided to get a place of their own, so now I gotta figure out where to live, who to live with (if anyone) etc. I'm looking forward to starting fresh sans Lance's decorating.

Just finished Steve Martin's "Shopgirl", related to Mirabelle until everything worked out for her, still liked it though.

confusion and insecurities

I'm in a state these days of uncertainty. Uncertain of where to live, where to work, if I've completely f-ed up my entire life, how I'm ever going to get out of debt, if I'll ever find love, if I'll ever care about my spiritual life again, if I'll ever move out of MN, if I'll ever care things going on in our world.

So yeah.

nostalgia

Man, this Christian rock is sure bringing back a lot of memories, my earlier college days (pre-exposure to alcohol)...ah, I was fat and frumpy, way more anti-social then I am now, struggling internally with faith issues and getting myself into loads of debt. With my eyes closed I can transport myself right back to the coffee shock, where all the indie Christian kids would hang, or at least the posers, and where you could find me many a weekend listening to indie Christian bands wishing I was cool, back when I used to hang with my hometown buddies that I've since lost touch with. Boy, how things have changed, and I think I feel a stirring in my soul.

this, that, and the other

I'm currently listening to some Christian rock that I used to enjoy back in college, perhaps it'll kick start my lethargic soul, get that ember a-flamin', and I'll be a spiritual powerhouse, armed with delicious pastries and my Bible of course.

I think I've decided on the career path that I would like to pursue, cake decorating, which was definitely a draw when I decided to get into this culinary thing. Actually, I still have a lack of direction. I've got a mere 4 weeks left, which consists of going to my internship, which is going better by the way, I don't think the owner believes me to be a complete idiot anymore, still an idiot but not to the degree that he originally thought. Actually, he managed to throw out a couple compliments the past couple days I've worked there, and affirmed that I shouldn't take it personally when he tells me I'm doing something wrong. I'm simultaneously hoping that he'll offer me a job and hoping he doesn't.

I want to go on a variety of vacations this summer, like at least three. Of course I don't have the funding for this but I'll do my darndest.

If only I had my PFR albums with me.

lazing about

Recovering from my birthday shindig/90's throwback party with the girls. Apparently people had a good time, I was too concerned over whether or not everyone was having a good time, or thinking I'm a huge lameoid..at least all the food got eaten. Betsy also announced this here blog to a roomful of people that I'd prefer to not know that I have a blog as I'm not sure if I may have written something that may be offensive..oh well I guess, not that anyone would care enough to spend time trying to find it, I hope anyways.