pork me

We aren't supposed to be "fat-talking" here at work, but I am, my friends, large and in charge. I haven't weighed myself in the past couple weeks (scale went -very slightly- down last time I did), however I have been porking out on candy and baked goods, as if there is literally no tomorrow which will bring more candy/baked goods. Exercise? P-shaw! I've conveniently given myself some "time off" because I feel I deserved it after being so busy last week preparing for our party. I believe I just hit rock bottom by eating a pumpkin cream cheese swirl brownie that had gone bad, and yet I continued to eat it. Hardly anyone ate the baked goods that I spent damn near an entire day baking for our party so I've been trying to unsuccessfully get rid of them here and there. I'm frankly, a little hurt. I mean, my co-workers will eat pretty much anything unhealthy no matter how disgusting it may be or look. I brought in multitudes of cupcakes ("creepcakes"), and they are going rather slowly, most of them don't even look gross or taste that bad!! Just a little old and dry maybe. I guess that teaches me to over-extend myself with the baking.

One of my pet peeves here at work is how much people take interest in what I'm eating for lunch. I could care less what other people are eating unless I'm going to head to the same cafeteria and want to see what they are serving for the day. Meanwhile, my co-workers need to get all up in my tonsil and be like "oh, that's weird" or "that looks good" or "that smells good, what do you have". Today I had a f**cking fake chicken patty on 2 slices of bread with some garlic (target brand mind you, nothing terribly fancy) mayo and a (pre-sliced) slice of havarti cheese. Can I eat my f**cking chicken patty in peace without someone saying "oh, that smells good, what do you have" and I have to be like a f**cking fake chicken patty that I just microwaved and slapped on some bread with some cheese and mayo. I don't know why, but it makes me almost livid with annoyance and frustration when people comment or ask me about my lunch. Other things at work make me well up in anger almost to the point of exploding such as last week, when I left the office for about an hour to run an errand. While I was gone our volunteer (Charlie Kaufman's Father in Law), came. He is a sweet 76 year old man who hobbles around on a cane and is very petite. I return to the office, and head back to my cube only to discover that my chair is gone. It is being used by George. My Co-worker TOOK MY CHAIR when she knew I would be back shortly. Lest I sound like an asshole for being upset that she gave my chair to an old man to use, be aware that there were THREE UN-USED CHAIRS IN THE NEAR VICINITY (like really near, closer than my cubicle). I mean un-used! As in NOBODY was going to sit in them at all during that particular day, yet she takes my chair that I have adjusted to my liking and am accustomed to sitting in and gives it to George. This is the same co-worker that asks me about my lunch damn near every day. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have it out for me so it was just pure lack of reasoning skills that inspired her to abdicate my chair from it's rightful placement instead of something like spite. Then, THEN, out of pure frustration and anger and principle I "became the bad guy" and ASKED AN OLD MAN to get up from my chair so I could replace it with an un-used one. Then my other co-worker proceeded to push my buttons and guilt trip me about asking George to switch chairs. This whole scenario from start to finish made me very angry and caused me to snap...and yell and give the silent treatment. I was also very tired because I had spent the entire day prior baking cupcakes that nobody ended up eating.

Our party was a smashing success, I think anyways. Lot's of people, house looked pretty great for the most part, people seemed to have a good time, great costumes, etc. I did indeed manage to pull my boy george costume together in time and think I did a pretty decent job at it.

And yay for Obama!

Tonight I will exercise.

I need a cute boyfriend by December 18th.