in a van, by the river

That's where I'll be if I don't get into JET next year. Oh, so for any of my vast readership that hasn't heard the news, I was chosen as an alternate for JET, and I just decided to turn down my chance of being upgraded in the following months for a variety of reasons, mostly because I don't want to have to move in with my mother if I gave up my housing situation and then didn't get upgraded. Part of me is really dissappointed in myself for not taking the chance and taking the safe route, which is essentially what I'm doing. Although, and I know there is always going to be something that I will miss out on by moving abroad for a significant amount of time, but there are things going on in this year that would be hard to miss out on. So...that is that, I will hopefully get off my duff this year and do some things that will enrich both my life and increase my chances of getting a straight -yes- next spring, including volunteering with kids, possibly tutoring or some such thing, obtaining my TEFL/TESL (which I think will be quite beneficial, not only for JET but if I want to go anywhere else), and taking some Japanese classes and learning more about Japan in general. I do really want to do JET...it would allow me to travel, get me some valuable experiences (maybe not jobwise, but at least life experience), and help me pay down some loans, so I hope I didn't miss out on my chance, but we'll see.

I also feel like I have to make my life this year worthwhile, I already have recently signed up to volunteer at a local art gallery which I'm hoping to get more involved in over the course of the year (including an Art Shanty this winter), and maybe finding an attractive fella to go on an actual date with, along with the aforementioned items. Again, this will take me staving off my propensity for laziness, which will be no small feat, but if I'm to survive another MN winter I gotta feel as if I'm doing something cool and not just twiddling my thumbs. I feel like I say this every year though.

Well, anywho, that's pretty much what has been weighing heavily on my mind the past month or so, now I can focus on turning 30 in a few days, and the despair that notion fills me with. If I don't die from swine flu that is, then I don't have to worry about it I guess.