Sunday, June 07, 2009

heartless bastards

Well, I'm sitting here in my dark and chilly home feeling sad cause all my friends are out enjoying
Grizzly Bear, to which I had a ticket but lost said ticket, I am so majorly bummed right now, and feel like a dolt. I'm pretty sure it fell out of my wallet, I was probably drunk when it happened. Oh well, those are the consequences of drinking heavily I guess.

Facebook is being stupid...ah facebook, which has informed me that he who broke my heart a couple years ago is possibly moving back to this fine city in a couple months. We don't really run with the same crowd that much anymore so it is unlikely that I'll see him, but it is a possibility. I met a boy at a party the other night that I could potentially have a crush on if I thought I were to ever see him again...we are facebook friends now too, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'll ever interact with him again in real life.

*Update* I got into the Grizzly Bear show!! My pals came through and discovered a way to "sneak" me in, and I'm so glad they did, it was excellent!

Well, before I had to rush out to the show, I was going to lament over the demise of my former roommate's bluegrass band...a very sad occurance. Not only do I really enjoy their music, but their band kept me connected to former roommate(s) and people of the aforementioned group, who I enjoy seeing at least occasionally. I've been going to their shows pretty steadily since I met them almost 3 years ago, so I'm feeling the loss.

The demise of their band also caused a demise (thus far) in another friendship with my former co-worker/friend. Said friend had been for lack of better term "tagging along" when I'd see their band in a nearby town where they all went to college, as in barring once or twice she insisted upon coming with me for the past year or so. I was not bothered by this but at the same time I certainly never begged her to come with me. She would drive for a couple reasons, one being her car is more reliable and pleasant to ride in than mine, and she would usually bring a friend. So basically we had a fight over how I was supposed to drive her because I "owed" her. Thing is that she had never asked me to drive previously and if it was a big deal I would have driven or hitched a ride for both of us with Jake. We could have gotten a ride with Jake last weekend except for the fact that she had to work late, so I ended up opting to get a ride with him and leave her to her own devices. The reason she was so insistant on me driving other than that she always had was because her ex was going to be there and she wanted to drink, meanwhile I also wanted to be able to be there on time, relax and enjoy myself for their final show, (like I said, a band that I've been supporting for almost 3 years), and spend time with Jake and Kat who are moving soon. The friend that I speak of isn't really friends with Jake or Kat, nor have I ever gotten the impression that she cares that much about the band other than it gives her something to do every once in a while and she can flirt with cute boys at their shows. So, she ended up not coming and we haven't really spoken for over a week now. I'm not usually one to have friendships end over something petty like this, but with this particular friend it was more than the stupid driving and it just kind of came to a head I think, as I've walked on eggshells around her more than I care to with someone I consider a friend. I think eventually we'll come around but we are both stubborn people.

My co-worker is also pissing me off. I've felt rather belittled by her lately, as in she always double checks my work and "fixes" things that are either unnecessary busy work or don't actually need fixing. She seems to have quite a fondness for adding small tasks onto her workload that are completely unnecessary, and also being a suck-up to the nurses for some sad reason, so that when I refuse to bend over backwards to do things that they are fully capable of doing and SHOULD be doing than I'm a bad employee. She recently just about took over my monthly audit because in three months 3 mistakes were found, one of which was admittedly my fault, but the other 2 had nothing to do with me. However, she proceeded to blame me for the other 2 mistakes and decided that I am not competent at auditing and that she should take it over since she certainly never makes mistakes like I obviously do. Then today she approaches me about something that was missed because I was off and she was ill, so another co-worker filled in for the day and she doesn't really know what she is doing, understandable since she rarely needs to fill that role. So when she points out that the insurance benefits hadn't been obtained I pointed out to her that it was the day we both were gone and that I am fully aware that benefits need to be obtained and that I do, in fact, call and verify benefits when need be. For some reason this was not good enough for her and she repeated herself as if I didn't understand, so I curtly interrupted her to say yes I understand, thanks, and turned my back.

I think I'm starting to get a tad more of a backbone, not much, but a smidge.

It's been a full 5 1/2 days since I've had a cigarette, except for one drag...hasn't been nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. I suppose it helps to have a solid reason, instead of a more abstract "bad for me" reason.


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