the stench is lifting?

As I take a deep sniff of the air surrounding me, I find that the stench of my funk is not as pungent as it was mere months ago. The self-loathing not as constant and severe. I wish I could attribute this to my semi-regular shrink appointments, but I think it is more a matter of time (healing wounds and such) and sunlight and warmth. Mind you, I still have plenty of bouts of feeling that I am a loser at life and also fat, but that is more a dull drone in my mind rather than a drone that also sucker punches me a few times a day. My shrink said something enlightening at my last appointment..."You just don't seem to like yourself". I suppose it's the dysthymia.


I've been OBSESSED with baking blogs lately. This hasn't led me to do any more baking than I normally do, but I have an itch to, if only I weren't so lazy. I did try my hand at some raspberry brownies though that didn't turn out quite as well as I had hoped.


Pretty sure I ate more than I ever have before at the State Fair the other night. Brandi Carlile was playing at the free stage and as we walked by and saw the enormous crowd of people who were listening to what I thought sounded to me like cheesy Christian pop/rock, we (or I for sure) was pretty perplexed about how this person drew such a large crowd. We continued on to the haunted house as planned and then proceeded to cap the night with a beer and some bull bites as per tradition. After I forced down the last bite, we were still puzzling over who the singer was, which Kristen figured out to be Brandi Carlile after a familiar song started playing. In any case we decided to check out what all the fuss was about and heard the final song, her big hit, before the encore, then a bunch of people left and we decided to "get in on the action" and enjoyed quite a pleasant encore with just her and her guitar/keyboards (much preferable to her with the band), and she's got quite a voice. I think I might like her. I wish I had some more excitement to report regarding the fair, but it was your usual eat way too much, look at some animals, go through the haunted house, etc. We did look at some crop art, but missed the fine art and creative activities building. I also had some excellent wine ice cream. The State Fair fills my heart with joy.