All I want for Christmas is you

I was told by my brother-in-law that I "better do some baking" for Christmas this year, though I do believe I've baked at least one cream cheese sugar cookies every year in the past few years anyways. So I'm exhausted but I'm baking some damn cookies, along with some cupcakes. But watch, I'll bring my slaved over baked goods to Christmas and they probably won't get eaten because there will already be too many baked goods that were already baked by my sister and said BIL. This is what happened for Thanksgiving anyways. I swear going to culinary school was the dumbest decision of my life, if only because I'm always expected to bake (from scratch obviously), and of course bake well...and I know when people are lying to me about how tasty something I've made is. Really there is no need to rave over something that I know only tastes mediocre at best. Well, I'm tired and I don't want to bake anymore, I just want to watch Felicity.

Me being the only one in the house who is required to work the day prior to and following the Christmas holiday, it has been rather lonely in the house, especially after a couple weeks spent crafting and decorating and listening to Christmas classics together in our cozy home. At least I have the cats for company. I was in a decent spirit too until the other day, it just isn't the same baking alone. I don't even want to go home for Christmas, if it wasn't for the food I'd opt out. Yeah, I'm feeling a little -funk-ey (not the good kind). Fujipants comes on friday though and we'll party it up, then I'll be in Duluth with family again. Haha, I was just thinking back to Thanksgiving and having a conversation with my stepmum about my eldest sister, who is kinda crazy and childish, and how they had this spat last year. Anyways, she was saying if it is so torturous for my sister to come home, why does she continue to do it, then went on to say that she knows my sister adores my Dad. I almost spit my wine out as I'm not certain that any of us children would put adoration in the pot of feelings that we have towards our father, especially knowing my sister's aversion for going to "the farm". I mean, we pretty much all have the same shallow relationship and resulting uncomfortable feelings when it comes to 'ol Pa, but whatever, I guess if my stepmum wants to be delusional about the man she loves that is her perogative. Unfortunately I'll be the only one of his spawn to grace the table on the actual day of Christmas and therefore I won't as easily be able to melt into my surroundings and avoid any of those questions that may come up about my pathetic life.

Well, I received confirmation that the JET program did in fact receive my application, and I should find out towards the end of January if I get an interview. I thought my chances were decent until I was reading some FAQs that a former JET had written up in which he stressed the importance of having a good GPA (like 3.3) if you want to get accepted. Well, mine was like 2.9, not that hot. He also said that only a quarter to a half of applicants get in! I knew I wasn't a shoe-in, but I thought my chances were slightly better than that, good grief, I'm screwed.