just swell

Ah goodness. Guess I haven't felt like updating my blog much lately...what does need some serious updating is my flickr account.

A couple weeks ago I was certain that I needed to see a shrink as the funk was taking over. This week I'm feeling considerably better. We shall see how long that lasts. It seems lately that my funk likes to fall by the wayside only to come back with a vengeance in a few days.


So I started tutoring for some extra cash. I tutor math to a brother and sister. The boy is autistic and I, you know, have zero training or experience with special needs kids. However, after the first couple sessions where I was totally freaked out that I was going to do a terrible job, I definitely feel more comfortable with him and I think he does with me, and he is actually easier to tutor than his sister at the moment (and quite hilarious with all the random stuff he says). When he grasps a concept he's pretty much got it down and will work diligently, whereas his sister claims everything is hard and gets easily distracted.

Anywho, my regular job has a lovely vibe of negativity at pretty much all times. Everyone is disgruntled over something or another. We had a co-worker who took advantage of the flexibility here, so another employee complained to HR, and now we have no flexibility. Also, after 8 years of employment and never requesting any time off at thanksgiving or Christmas, I decided to put in a request for the days prior to Christmas this year, thinking that I've put my time in, and I was surprisingly granted my vacation. Oh, what an uproar that created, I think for 2 weeks straight all I heard about was people obsessing over holiday hours, and how I can't get time off next Christmas because I got it this year, and so on and so forth. Meanwhile, the people b**ching about it still managed to get practically the whole week of Christmas off. The one that really chaps my hide though is my co-worker who took the whole week of Thanksgiving off, who asked for it off MONTHS prior, and probably mentions at least twice a week, for the past two month how I GOT CHRISTMAS OFF, she is clearly bitter about it. I'm like wait a minute, you obviously wanted Thanksgiving off since you asked for it off in the summer, and now you also want Christmas off?? Talk about a holiday hog!! I know that the fact that I am a spinster and haven't born children makes it look like I shouldn't have any obligations to anyone during the holidays, but news flash, I have a family too. A ridiculous and dysfunctional family that I'm not always keen on hanging out with, but there are some members of it, such as my sister, brother, niece, nephew and bro-in-law that I do enjoy seeing and only see at most twice a year. Even though my sister is bonafide nutso, I still like her and her family.

This same co-worker is the one who feels the need to belittle me by double checking my work because once I made one error and I don't feel the need to do completely unneccessary tasks that she deems important.

Lets see, what else...I had a surprisingly pleasant Thanksgiving with my Pa and stepmom, which I thought would be awkward because I other than my stepbrother, who was there about an hour, I was the only child to come home. It is well known that my dad and I aren't exactly the chatty types...in general, and certainly not to each other, but the conversation flowed with only moderate awkwardness. I was dissapointed to see that our huge maple tree in front of our house had to be taken down, the house looks naked without it.

I recently thought that I had almost lost 10 lbs, but then the next time I weighed myself I had put back on 3, keeping me steady at where I've been for a couple months now. I shouldn't complain since I still weigh less than I did this summer, when I had porked up to my heaviest in probably five years.

Oh, I was recently at a party where the boy who broke my heart was also in attendance (along with girlfriend). He completely ignored me which was super, but then I saw him a week or so later at another event and he told me he had sent me a message just hours before asking if I wanted to get that elusive drink sometime, to which I responded okay, and then wrote him back to set something up and ....nothing. I don't get it, he could have just continued to ignore my presence and I would just have carried on. Instead he claims to want to hang out with me and I have this glimmer of hope for some closure, but alas, it is but a pipe dream. Ah well, he is moving away soon so that's good, his presence is just a lovely reminder of the consistent rejection.

I've also had the pleasure of watching my roommate be asked out men that I also find attractive, while I meanwhile get no advances from attractive men, and continue to pathetically pine for aforementioned boy, even with all his flaws and jerkish behavior, oh, and the fact that he has clearly moved on, like 2 years ago.

*sigh*