not a loser

I am unsure how it is possible for me to start exercising regularly (relatively, as in 2-4 days/week), choosing and preparing healthier meals at least more frequently than before, quit working at a bakery where I'm constantly surrounded by tempting sweets in which I did indulge, and not only gain weight which I had hoped to attribute mostly to increased muscle, but also seem to be in possession of jeans that were granted -snug-, but had to be squeezed into today with difficulty and are now -tight-. Am so not going to win any weight reducing contests. Also decided against the gym challenge b/c I am planning on being in CA visiting former roommate/friend Betsy on the last day of the contest rendering me unable to do the weigh in.

Oh well, am not letting it get me down. I figure it must be some sort of fluke, or maybe the double, no triple serving of fries the other day along with pizza, a cheeseburger, and 2 mini sloppy joe's. Hey, it was my free day.

I saw Cat Power last night, she was great, her voice live was amazing and she was very endearingly quirky and not too drunk.

Well, on the advice of my shrink I'm trying to be more aware of my brain output. It seems however, that my former crush of last winter is throwing a party to which I am not invited, and I am not sure as to why since I am not actively crushing on him and our sparse interactions over the past year have been amiable. Possible oversight I suppose, which has been the consensus among mutual friends, slight chance that could be b/c he is very good friends with he who dicked me around broke my heart last spring. Who knows, but of course I had to agonize over it for a good hour or five. It is hard to attempt to distance myself from brain output.