prozac nation

"But it's one thing to be aimless; it's another when you make targeted decisions in spite of your aimlessness. That's when the regrets and backtracking often happen"....

" life is rarely linear, and careers are no different"

more brilliancy from Carolyn Hax, makes me feel slightly better about my poor life decisions. I've kinda mellowed out in the past couple weeks, more like been distracting myself so as not to think too much about things and consequently work myself into a ball of anxiety. In some ways productive (dwelling and worrying and stressing out), and others ways not (becoming nice and comfy in a tolerable yet ultimately dissatisfying life). Although I sort of have some plans and goals mapped out for myself, I'm having trouble making solid decisions, too many options it seems, coupled with paralyzing fear of making the wrong move and failing.

I wish people were more real.

Eh, I'm a Debbie Downer these days, even my friends think I'm not as witty, a shell of my former self. Perhaps drugs would help.

I've set out a painting to taunt me into working on it, got ideas still a-churning, assuming I get the motivation to get them out.