I'm so proud

We had a touch of snow this weekend, something between 8-15 inches or something like that, supposedly the "storm of the century", but I'm fairly certain in the 27 years that I've been alive anyways I've experienced a few storms as bad or much worse. In any case, my beast of a car made me so very proud yesterday. She maneuvered through the wet and snowy streets yesterday with relative ease while other cars were struggling. For a car whose tire is supposed barely hanging on (it was recommended to me that I get a new rim well over a year ago...have I done that, uh no), I was extremely impressed. I've been tossing around the idea of getting a new beater soon rather than put more money into my car, but she may have proved her worth yesterday.

I need to buckle down the next 4 weeks, school is suffering because I'm being too social. 4 weeks until I have a break, then 11 more weeks and I'm done...done!! Crazy to think by that time it will be June.

a bit o drama never did anyone harm

I guess anyways, just having a slight bit o drama in my life right now, which seems to be on the way to settled though (I hope), and hopefully everyone will come out unscathed, probably disappointed, but not seriously scathed. In any case, it has caused a bit o stress which I don't really have the energy for at this point.

Other than that, the usual, pondering such lofty ideas as grace, friendship, morals and the like. Not having much time to come to much real thinking regarding any of them however, mostly just confusion.

pondering perceptions

How is it that people's perceptions on the same situation can be so utterly different? It makes me wonder if I'm delusional sometimes, when I hear someone's account of an evening, for example, a night of heavy drinking where I no doubt have made an ass of myself, and the next morning wake up thinking, "gee, I kinda made an ass of myself last night", and then I hear from someone else, oh yeah, you made a HUGE ass of yourself, whereas I was just thinking that it was my run of the mill ass behavior, more mild in my remembrance. However, one specific source also tends to embellish things, so then I have to wonder..is this source reliable, or is this person actually giving an accurate account of the evening and it's my brain that is skewed, maybe I'm just trying to play down the embellishment to attempt to save face in at least my own head. OR, with the cleaning..I think I clean pretty regularly while not seeing other's make a ton of effort to clean. However, I may be feeding my fragile ego and deluding myself into thinking that I clean more, whereas they are thinking that I don't, so who is in the right? Then there is the relationship, where personal issues and past experience can skew perceptions of words and actions. It is all very confusing. So, if I am in fact, delusional, please let me know.

embarrassing behaviors ensue

Ah yes, I've engaged in many a foolishly drunken evening it seems as of late, I think it's because I live with all these young'uns, or I'm trying to fit in as much social life as I can before school gets really hard as it's projected to be starting like, next week. I should assume a lack of social life for the next 4 months, but I know I'm weak-willed.

G love delivered a good show last night, which would also be considered one of the aforementioned evening complete with embarrassing and obnoxious behaviors.

Guess who I get to see today, that's right, my old buddy Matt, who cuts my hair, who has fabulous pecs and is overall undeniably sexy. I'm quite excited.

I used to be funny

It's done, the cake that is. I only stayed an extra 6 hours after class to finish it, only 3 hours after the other stragglers left. There was lots of swearing, whining like a small child, and near gushes of tears, those damn flowers kept breaking and at one point I barked to my instructor, who kindly asked how it was going "my flowers are ugly and I hate them". Well, my emotions have been running high lately, extremely busy and stressful schedule, not enough sleep or time to relax, money is tight, I had a bittersweet exchange with my love interest after which I got ultimately rejected (got the 'ol, it's not you it's me), and we're thrown into these projects for school with minimal time and minimal practice. I guess that's how it is "in the business", so I should deal if I want to be "in the business". So next week I start advanced pastry, which is sure to also be stressful, but at least we make ice cream. My cake turned out alright though, I'm not wholly satisfied with how my flowers turned out, and it looks sloppy if you look at it up close, but from far away it looks kinda cool, I'll post a picture. Art girl painted sappy pictures on her cake, it was actually really good. I don't dislike her as much as I did a couple weeks ago I guess.

On board for next week..start my new class Mon., seeing G. Love on love day, hosting book club (which means I have to clean) on thurs., as well as the option of seeing the love interest who rejected me play at a local bar. Jake and Betsy have a friend staying next weekend and therefore we're throwing a possible impromptu party thrown in his honor. This leaves me with minimal time to ponder deep things.

my hands hurt

My poor little hands are sore from all this cake decorating, and I'm nowhere near finishing my cake, which needs to be done tomorrow.

trying my hand at a more positive attitude

I'm feeling a bit of stress as of late, big huge project due for school on wed. that will take up all my time until then, the project is designing a wedding cake for which we have to make "realistic" looking flowers out of gum paste. Gum paste is a nasty concoction of powdered sugar, glycerin, glucose, and a bunch of other stuff that is supposedly edible but would be gross to eat. Anyways, the stuff is fragile and finicky and I have yet to be successful at making one flower, not to mention my instructor doesn't seem too keen on my design in the first place, calling my ideas "bizarre". Well, not everyone wants a fluffy, flowery wedding cake, am I right? What's wrong with a nifty pattern in untraditional colors? Whatever, I will not allow him to stifle my creativity, and if it turns out to be shit I really don't care.

Yeah, I will rejoice when school is done, then comes the stress of figuring out what comes next. I was getting a little sad and sappy yesterday thinking of dispersing from Betsy, Jake and Kat (despite our differences), I have a ton of fun with these people and have made many cool new acquaintances in the past year or so since I met Betsy, makes me feel young again. Oh well, that is still a ways away, I shouldn't dwell on the sadness but live each moment to the fullest. Oh yeah.

party pic potpourri

Betsy and Ben, and Jake in the background

Cassie, me and Mary Kay trying to look like bad ass rockers, MK and Cassie look bad ass.

Emily, who was our summer roommate, and me looking hideous

There's my lovely roommates, Jake and Kathleen

Kevin and Taylor and Betsy

Mod cookies I made, aren't I swell

An Elvis cookie, again, I'm so swell