sweet relief

Today is the first day of my winter break, have I mentioned yet that I have three weeks off of school, and only have to subject myself to the daily drudgery that is my job, but all that is required of me is putting in my 8 hours, no schoolwork, no exhausting and stressful 5 hour classes, just drudgery. I will try not to complain about work or co-workers during this duration. We are getting free lunch today and tomorrow, if I didn't feel slightly nauseous every time I ate this would be more exciting, I have a fear that I'm becoming lactose intolerant or something horrible like that, I can't imagine, I love dairy.

Insomnia has returned, waking at 3, 4, 5 a.m. unable to fall asleep again, have no idea why, just pisses me off.

We decided on a roommate, Lance, he's "not a flamer but is a homo", his words. I was all about Lance before we met him, thinking he may put some effort into our sparse decor that the rest of us haven't had the ambition to tackle (or time in some cases), and he was funny in his emails and seemed really friendly. Our other option was another guy who was really outdoorsy, so much more up Jake's alley. However, I found him kinda irritating as did Kathleen, and Betsy thought he might be a slacker, plus he had unfortunate facial hair (a long skinny beard resembling a spike coming out of his chin), yet I was reprimanded by Betsy telling me I can't judge him for it, well then who can I judge? Does not one choose one's own style of facial hair, often as a manner of expressing oneself?? Whatever, he got the kabosh, I feel bad for Jake cause he's such a nice guy and he kinda got the shaft, but well, he was the only one excited about the outdoorsy guy. Lance, however, has a ton of furniture, big furniture, and seems to think we'll be able to fit it all in no problem, in addition to the furniture we already have. I'm slightly nervous about Lance, he may be not as laid back as he claimed. It is soo nice not to live with Sarah anymore though, so nice, just soo nice. I didn't realize how much common space she selfishly used for herself until she left, besides being a negative, complaining, lazy presence in the house. I like roaming my home, no longer fearing possibilities of awkward interactions with her, or hearing her stomp around, or complaining on her cell phone to mommy. Okay, I'm done now. So in the interim Jake's bandmate Aaron has been staying with us, and he and Jake jammed together the other night, Jake on guitar, Aaron on mandolin, then switching to fiddle, it was really pleasant. I actually wish Aaron would live with us, he's nice, quiet, respectful, cleans, all qualities of a good roommate, alas, it is not to be.

My teacher complimented me, we had to sculpt dough into whatever we wanted within the theme of "winter", so I did a cozy little fireplace scene, and she was impressed and said that the dought sculptures usually give her a good indication of who will be good at cake decorating and plating and such, and she seems to have confidence in my abilities, she said I have good coordination. It felt good. It reminded though of my painting prof. in college, he was also very encouraging, yet I didn't take it enough to heart...I wish I could.

Well, I'm on the receiving end of rejection yet again by a boy I kinda like, who seemed to like me, and it wasn't just in my head either, other people thought so too. Sigh, now I can't help but indulge in a little of the "what's wrong with me" thinking, even if I don't think anything is really wrong with other then my deep-seated issues that I haven't yet grappled with through the help of a reputable therapist. Perhaps I best get on that.