wicked cool tuesday!

this means One tree hill and Gilmore Girls will be on tonight! I hope Cassie appreciates that I've been taping the episodes while she's in Japan (except I missed the first 45 min. or so of GG last week cause Jenni and I were at happy hour).
I have shed my responsibility of the dreaded insurance calls portion of my job, hooray! The evil has been passed on to the unfortunate soul of Andrea, lets hope she fares better than I.
I love Elvis Costello, shout out to my man Elvis!
I spent a lovely weekend in Chicago for Jenni's bachelorette party, once again my introversion was confirmed. Spending the weekend with 8-10 girls for three days, only one of which I really know well and knows me well, was a bit draining. It was fun nonetheless. I enjoy sitting back and listening to others talk, I just don't like it when I'm thought of as timid, stupid, rude, snotty etc. because I don't say a lot, and I didn't feel that I was thought of that way with these girls, which was nice. I'm getting used to it though and am trying to learn to either be okay with it, or make a change if I don't like it, but whatever I do, it has to be because of me and not because I want to be more accepted by others, kind of like losing weight or whatever else. I was reading today about first impressions and how are brain will sum someone up in like nanoseconds and that snapshot is forever ingrained in our minds. This is disconcerting to me cause I'm pretty sure I don't make a first good impression, once in a blue moon, but most often I feel my insecurities are so apparent whether I want them to be or not. I am really constantly amazed at people who run their mouth off, I don't necessarily mean it negatively (it depends on who you are), but really that put themselves out there and don't seem to have a shred of self consciousness. I have to admit it is something I desire for myself, not necessarily the running of the mouth, but the lack of self consciousness, which leads to fear, which, well, leads to not living fully basically.
I applied to Target last night in the hopes of making extra cash, my quest for a part time job has thus far been futile, maybe this will pan out. If only I would have my job review that is like 2 months overdue and get my raise...
Back to the self consciousness and work, last week my manager asked me if I had been crying cause I had smudged mascara. Maybe like a couple three weeks ago I was all out crying at work so I'm sure she thinks I'm about to snap. Anyways, I had been crying, I don't remember why now, but it was so shocking to me that she asked me that, and not even privately but in the front of the office that I denied it, not that I really wanted to explain to her whatever reason I may have been crying. She is really great, the best manager I have had, but I'm a private person and people are really open and kind of nosy around here. I'm getting better at asserting that it isn't their business though, and try to appreciate their concern for me at the same time.
Cassie blessed me with a phone call yesterday morning, a pleasant monday surprise!