making a fool of myself

I just asked the cute mechanic to come to our party. This is how it went down. I drove down the street, pulled over to muster my courage, called my co-worker because I saw him get out of a car and cross the street after which I felt hugely dorky because I knew he could see me sitting there, and knew it was me because my car is pretty distinctive. While I'm on the phone freaking out, he comes over and asks me if I'm bringing my car in, I turned beet red I'm sure, hung up the phone and asked him to come to our party. He actually sounds like he might come, and now I'm embarrassed.

issues unresolved and tomorrow is a special day

So, apparently our house meeting resolved few real issues. I do think we were somewhat successful in getting Sarah to see that we do make efforts in the house, cleaning, purchasing common supplies, etc. without pointing fingers. No "real" issues were resolved however, honestely I don't think any of us like Sarah much. I guess I'm pretty indifferent towards her, but I do feel more comfortable at home when she isn't there, she just kinda looks at me strangely and I don't know how to read her. Betsy is pretty pissed off, Sarah made a couple snide comments, about the cleanliness of the house for one. Our apt. is cluttered in some areas, but despite what I make it sound like it isn't disgusting, and I feel we make a decent effort to keep things clean. It isn't even that cluttered and the clutter is papers and mail and shit or Sarah's boxed belongings that she hasn't moved into her room since we moved in. She also is refraining from attending our party since she's "really stressed out and overwhelmed by meeting too many new people", I frankly couldn't care less if she wants to make herself scarce since she's a kinda buzzkill anyways, but holy hell, we're all stressed and busy, I'm in school and working almost full time, Betsy and Kathleen each have 2 jobs, Jake has a physically demanding job, she has one job on her plate and gets food stamps (she has an Americorps position). Our rent is fairly cheap and I don't know that she has a lot of other expenses. She also "didn't have fun at the last party" well, she sat in her room with a select few of her friends, told us when we asked her to come out and join us that some people just don't like to socialize and drink, and left her other, non-select, friends to be entertained by us who had a good enough time to give us their contact info so that they could be invited to our next gathering. So yeah, she may be a cool girl, but I have no idea because she won't respond to our efforts to be friendly and include her, she doesn't seem to care to know us (yet complains), and I highly doubt that we will grow to like her. So I will be mean and pass judgement upon her, she was just kinda generally insulting, and I feel like we've made a genuine effort.

Along the same lines, I've actually been pondering the past few days about judging people, dismissing them if certain characteristics don't fit our mold, expectations, morals, values, what have you. The golden rule is crap because how you like to be treated is not necessarily the standard for all humanity, some people feel it perfectly fine to treat others like shit (by some people's standard) and expect to be treated the same, whereas one persons high ideals may cause them to blow off a valuable individual. I don't know, I fail alot at being judgemental (see above), and placing undue expectations on people, at the same time you can't just let any behavior fly without having some standards....I need therapy.

Tomorrow is my blog anniversary, 2 years of my pointless rambling posted online for anyone's reading pleasure.

a lengthy (probably boring) post about the goings on in my life

My roommate Jake's band opened for Nickel Creek before they hit it big, isn't that just swell.

My week off from school has been truly lovely thus far, I set out to have a good time and to also be productive and am pleased to report that both have been accomplished thus far, and it's only Wed.! To recap on all the fun I've been having...
Fri.-went to former roommate Emily's new house where she and her new roomie Sinda were having a housewarming party. I attempted to hem and haw with recent grads of some of the more uppercrust of MN colleges. I'd rate my wittiness on a scale of 1-10 as a 6.7. Betsy and I announced our plan to write a screenplay in which there is basically an asexual heroine. I tried to muster up a game of truth or dare of which there were 4 participants, and during which we discovered that the most probing question we could come up with was "have you ever given someone a blowjob?". Betsy made fun of us for not being able to advance beyond age 14 in our truth or dare creativity. I then self-loathed for a while for not being smarter, as I was told based on my PSAT score that I could never dream of going to such a school as Carleton or Mac., but felt confident that my new bra was pretty and showed it off to neighboring individuals. Then I fell asleep.

Sat.-was productive, cleaned mostly in the hopes of getting to the source of the funky smell in the kitchen. I had feared that some sort of vermin had perished under the fridge, so, with steel determination I moved those fridges and prepared myself for the worst-nothing other than your run of the mill under the fridge grime which was promptly mopped up. I then showered and vegetated a bit, meanwhile Cassie called wondering what I was up to, and she and I and Heather decided to join Betsy to hear harpist blues legend Billy Boy Arnold at our local chain rib establishment. I had me some good ribs and (2) cornbread muffins (2 for $0.99).

Sun.-worked, was unproductive at work per usual. Went to church and afterwards called my mother to wish her happy birthday, and had the pleasure of visiting with my local pals, and also out of town pals Sally and MS flava. I got excessively drunk likely because I was downing my beer and I had a mostly empty stomach (trying to be frugal). I then proceeded to vaguely embarrass myself and get easily offended at our local venue where our church puts on a show with a variety of local musicians and our church band.

Mon.-worked, was unproductive at work, hoped to hook up with Sal and MS flava before they headed home but didn't. After work I picked Betsy up and we tried to engage ourselves in the seedy underbelly of the Mpls punk scene. Our friend Mike's (who we are both attracted to but who unfortunately has a girlfriend), band was playing at this house with a gross basement and keg beer. I felt fairly out of place upon arrival, seeing as how I don't usually try to pull off the punk look, but Mike welcomed us even though we looked really square. Mike told us some about his drunken shenanigans over the weekend and a few offensive jokes, but was cut off by the first band, they were alright, then Mike's band played, and they were pretty good. The next morning Betsy and I were chatting about how adorable Mike was, but she then brought up the point that if one were to actually date Mike, one might get tired of his alcoholic tendencies, his propensity toward playing video games for hours, and the fact that he mostly hangs out with a bunch of dudes who also have alchoholic tendencies. She does make a good point. Ah, but he's so cute and funny and artsy...anyways...

Tues.-My day off since I worked on Sun. I awoke determined to be highly productive, my goal being to paint/clean my room. I woke, cleaned some, went to the paint store and decided I am too poor to paint my room at this point, also ran into my landlord who graciously informed me that we haven't quite been fulfilling our caretaker duties of cleaning the halls (which we haven't). I went home with a new goal of ridding the kitchen of the foul odor. This time I pulled out the stove expecting the worst...to discover only your run of the mill under the stove grime which I mopped up. Then I cleaned both hallways and attempted to tidy the basement. I lamented the fact that I hadn't been able to enjoy the lovely weather so I partook in a short jaunt to the local shop for a cup a joe and some reading outdoors. While I was trying to keep to myself and read, a regular who generally irritates me joined me and irritated me per usual and then a bird shat on my book (which was thankfully from the library). Then I went over to my co-worker's to watch the season premier of "Gilmore Girls" with 2 other co-worker's and Cassie. I wasn't disspointed, though after reading reviews today it seems that a lot of other's were, nor do I hate Christopher like many seem to (though he was somewhat irritating).
I also came home last night and finally realized the source of the odor...which is fairly disgusting...it was the fly trap that I had bought a few weeks ago, which now resides in the garbage...problem solved. Hey, at least it wasn't decomposing mouse bits....

roommate issues pt. 2

I'm hungover, and feeling vaguely embarrassed by my drunkeness as I don't think any of my other friends were quite at my level of intoxication, oh well... My attempts at productivity here at work are not very fruitful, unless you consider updating my evite, checking my ebay, reading blogs and various other info on health and nutrition productive, so actually just my attempts at being productive regarding work related things are not very fruitful.

Okay, I'm going to start hording my own toilet paper...and here is why. Apparently Betsy overheard our roommate Sarah complaining about how we were -almost- out of TP, we were down to like one roll in each bathroom. I bought TP the next day -before- we ran out (so I don't really see the cause to complain). Note that -I- bought the TP and not the complainer, one should also note that the only persons in the house to have bought TP are myself and Betsy, and at no time have we been out of TP mind you. Also noteworthy pretty much all the rest of the contributions to the household, supplies, furniture, gadgets, etc. have all been, with exception of the dining room table (which she got for free), bought/acquired by everyone but Sarah, oh and I guess she brought a small papazon like chair and a bean bag chair. ALSO noteworthy is that she does not contribute much to the overall cleanliness of the house and yet seems to feel she deserved much praise because she cleaned the bathroom once for our last party (meanwhile I find myself washing her dishes and cleaning up counter surfaces even when I don't cook anything). So I almost feel that if my TP contributions are going to go unappreciated by certian parties of the household, I'm just going to buy my own supply and horde it in my room. Actually we are going to have a house meeting this week to hopefully air out any grievances and come to some resolution so that we will hopefully stop bitching behind everyone else's back like I'm doing right now.

You know how when you walk down the hall and there is an acquaintance or co-worker and you say hello or whatever but you still some hall distance to cover before you pass eachother and it seems awkward to look at the person after exchanging pleasantries, but also awkward to not look.

We settled upon the Whodunit theme, now I have to come up with some sort of spyish dress.

I find your knowledge of water pumps to be so....fascinating

My car returneth to my posession, and I'm lusty after my mechanic. He did sound *cute* the numerous times I talked to him on the phone, and well, he is in person as well. Betsy is trying to convince me to pretend that something is wrong with my car, well there is certainly always something wrong with my car, but anyways so that I can ask him to our party next weekend. I feel too sheepish to make such a bold move, though I really felt we made a connection while he was spouting his mechanic jargon about water pumps and alternators, but actually we also talked about how he'd like to go to culinary school, so I'm pretty sure I'm in love and decided that it is necessary for me to date a mechanic.

I believe I might be in the presence of fair Sally and MS flava tomorrow, which truly makes me feel warm inside on this cold, drizzly evening.

I'm definitely getting fat....but I cleaned our kitchen pretty thoroughly today, I even moved the refridgerators (yes 2) and mopped behind them. I have some pretty lofty goals this week to relax, exercise, clean/decorate my room, and go out at least 2 nights this week despite my lack of funding, plus our party next Sat. which will be a theme party and therefore will take a bit more planning than usual. I think we've narrowed it down to Mods vs. Rockers or a Whodunit party where you can take your pick of characters ranging from bumbling constable to wronged party to private eye to femme fatale, with an attempt at some sort of simple clue or riddle type game where you can receive a cheesy prize. If anyone has a vote or opinion feel free to chime in, oh right, I just remembered that nobody reads this or leaves a comment. Well, maybe someone will be take pity on me since I just whined.....

here we go again

It is cold as balls in these parts, for mid-September anyways, so much for easing into fall....

good morning

Yesterday was my last day of my intro to baking class, and for this I am grateful. After tomorrow I will have completed my first quarter of school, with 3 more to go and my schedule next quarter will I think be much more pleasant. I actually enjoyed most of the people in my class and I'll kinda miss some of them that I know I won't be in class with again, though there is one person in particular that I know I can't stand, and I'm hoping/trying to make deals with God so that I won't be grouped with her again ( since she was in my group first part of the quarter). I'm thrilled that I will only have to get up before our region of the earth is lightened by the sun 2 days a week instead of 3, and not even as early as before, plus I'll be done with my day earlier too (I may even exercise).

I may try to finish watching the movie Eraserhead tonight since I of course fell asleep watching it, even though what I've seen of it so far is somewhat disturbing. However the movie is supposedly worth watching and I do usually enjoy Lynch, and roommate Kathleen wanted to watch it too so maybe if someone else is there with my I won't be quite as disturbed.

This completes my exciting post of the goings on of my life....

it was true

Courtney and Kurt really did live in the house that Betsy and I were potentially going to live, if only we could have gotten past the disgusting state that it was in when we saw it, and the fact that it overlooked an ugly liquor store parking lot (however, convenient). But here is proof, an excerpt from our "CityPages".

"It was a very specific time. Courtney Love was like the 74th person from that corner
to get famous. She was living [in Big Trouble House, on Colfax off Franklin, next to
the liquor store parking lot] there, and the Mondales were living five blocks in the
other direction. "

I thought that lady was full of -it, but I guess we missed our opportunity to tread upon the same hardwood floors, soak in the same tub, or eat from the same kitchen in which they made delectable romantic meals or drugs. Alas, it was not meant to be.

Well, I did fairly well on the practical portion of my exam, and I'm sure glad it's over. I was putsy as usual, one would think that my slowness would make my assignments better, this is sadly not the case. I lack creativity, but my pate aux choux swan looked lovely, it had a nice beak. Also, I told one of the cute boys in class that I made my cake for him, which had "you are special" written on it, he seemed pleased.

could you imagine

making an extremely detailed print of the face of Jesus, using only one continuous line? I sure can't, but I saw it with my own eyes at the MIA. Then again I apparently have little imagination...I just drew a plate design with a swan for my exam tomorrow, it is pretty cheesy. Sadly, after wed. I will no longer be in class with the attractive young men who I enjoyed lusting after while making various breads and pastries and the like, and since I never said more than maybe 5 words to either one of them, I doubt I will interact with them in the future. On the bright side, next week I have a glorious break from school, assuming that I'll be able to go back (still not sure about that loan), which I hope to be a perfect balance of restfulness and productivity.

Well, a smoke, a shower, and sleep, gotta rest up.

mostly irritated

As the day progresses, I get crabbier. I'm tired of being a nurse's bitch, just found out the plethora of things that are wrong with my car, I can afford to fix the immediate issue, but there are basically fluids (oil, water pump) leaking all over and well, that doesn't bode well for the future of my car, not that I expect it to be in pristine condition, umm, school kinda sucked yesterday and I'm stressed about my final, etc. etc. Yeah, one of my teammates nitpicked at my folding technique to no end and it really frustrated me, it was embarassing and I felt like an 8 year old being critized relentlessy by my father. But anyways, I'm over it I guess, and I don't really need a car so if it finally kicks it, I can deal. I feel as though I'm getting fat, probably because I eat too much and am too tired to excercise. I'm also sick of lecherous, creepy old men (well one specifically) at the coffee shop insisting on talking to/sitting near me even though I make clear through words and actions that I'm uncomfortable. So I'll just be short with people and irritably toss some papers and things around.

sloppy

Class today was difficult and frustating, we were making plated desserts, and I felt as though I have no eye for design, which I should have, being an art major and all. Well, actually, design was never really my strong suit, drawing/painting something that is in front of me and making it look like what it is, that I can do, but placing colors and shapes together in a appealing manner is more hit and miss for me. Plus we're working with food, it's kind of a different medium.

I saw my former coffee shop crush's girlfriend in the pharmacy/post office, she held the door open for me, and she is a very thin woman. Actually I'm not sure if they are still together, I think so, but I'm not positive. She seems cool though, she has a lot of tatoo's and bikes everywhere, so I guess those are attractive features.

My saturday of laziness stretched well into the evening, with me shedding my pajama's finally at 6 p.m. to dress and get some food with the housemates. I justified that it was my sabbath, and therefore do not feel guilty that I accomplished absolutely nothing because if God says I need a day of rest, then I better have a day of rest.

Only 2 weeks left of the quarter, I'm nervous about my practical exam, our midterm exam was pretty stressful and I anticipate this one to be as well. You know, I've always preferred going at a leisurely pace when it comes to just about anything, like a snail pace. This was a major reason why I was never promoted when I worked at McDonald's in high school, I was just too damn slow for their fast-paced environment. Well, culinary school is fast-paced, and I'm trying to keep up, but it does go against my nature. So yeah, I get a little knotty in the stomach thinking about all the stuff that needs to get done in our five hour class period, but I'll make it I guess, even if I fail or break down in tears like one of my classmates has a tendency to do. I guess I should get used to it as "the industry" does usually move at a faster pace, though if I had my way I'd be able to take my time, and a lot of breaks. Hopefully I'll be able to continue my education, as I have to resubmit my loan app. and I really have no idea if I'll be approved this time or not, my mother is approved as a co-signer, but my credit may just be so horrible that it won't matter that I've made just over 12 consecutive payments on my defaulted student loan.

lazy

It's 3:20 p.m. and the most I've accomplished today is sleeping and watching part of a movie that I fell asleep while watching. I'm being incredibly lazy, I may in fact go back to sleep soon. Granted the people upstairs were partying until well into the early morn, and my roommate felt it to be a good idea to blast her nickel creek at 9:30 a.m., even though everyone else in the house was clearly sleeping or at least would have appreciated a quiet morning. Jake and Connor accompanied me to the party upstairs for a bit, our neighbors turned out to be very friendly and hospitable, but we soon became antisocial and went home. Their bathroom upstairs is one of the coolest I've ever seen, it has a staircase in it leading to the back hallway.

this is great

from Carolyn Hax's online chat today.....

"Washington, D.C.: Hi Carolyn,
I've been very fortunate lately to have met and dated a couple of very nice men. Genuinely nice guys with good jobs who would probably make ideal husbands and good fathers. You know, the kind you're supposed to find and settle down with. So, why am I so uninterested in them? They treat me like a princess and I think most women would tell me that I'm crazy not to keep such good catches.
And I am getting a bit old (28) to be single. I mean, I can't continue to be so popular with the men forever. Shouldn't I be finding that life partner? These men would both have made excellent providers, and perhaps I would have grown to love them. What's wrong with me?

Carolyn Hax: That you're looking at men for their ability to provide, that you're looking at 28 as old, that you think your popularity with men is a factor of your age, that you think popularity with men is important to have, that you're looking to your age to tell you what you should be doing with your life, that you're looking at being single as a condition to be avoided, that you think being treated as a princess is what all women want, that you think something is wrong with you because you met two non-felons whom you didn't want to marry

.Did I miss anything?"

She's so great

under control

Our nasty infestation seems to be under control now, this makes me feel much more at ease.

My car didn't start, it seems to be a battery issue, which would make sense since the battery light has been on the past few days. If it is the alternator again I will be pissed.

Our new neighbors upstairs invited us to their shindig tonight, I've only met a couple of them briefly, but they seem like cool people, so I think I'll work on my social skills and head up there later. Who knows, maybe we'll all be great pals.

I'm impressed

I stopped at the hardware store on my way home to get some sort of fly ridding agent, then arrived home to find that roommate Sarah had gone on a warpath and single handedly killed several of the flies using the age-old newspaper method, and I was thoroughly impressed with her skills. There are still flies to be caught though.

embarrassment to myself

Our evening of bar-hopping with my young friend/co-worker for her 21st birthday was a success. She was thoroughly drunk and foolish early on, and maintained throughout the night. I too, made a fool of myself, either due to my steady intake of g&t's (though I didn't feel drunk) or I was just in one of my moods in which case embarrassment is inevitable.

Cassie and I did make it to the fair, it was everything we hoped it would be. I introduced Cassie to Heritage Square where they have a state fair museum and a bunch of other old stuff, along with a smithy and they sell sarsaparilla and try to make everything look old-timey. It made me yearn to be back in my home town where I can get a fix of the Village of Yesteryear, which is basically a bunch of old buildings (schoolhouse, church, post office, etc.) with historical items and antiques that you can peruse like from Little House on the Prairie era, it is one of my most favorite things to do at the county fair.

Here I go on a quest to find some sort of fly killing method, since my roomates apparently think it fine to leave food and crumbs all over our kitchen, we seem to have an infestation and it's beginning to make me queasy.

I'll take it personally if I damn well please

I've been reading through my archives as I do maybe a couple times a year, and was reading a post where I mentioned that I was a bit pissed because I could see on my sitemeter that someone would google a good friend of mine and consequently came upon my blog. Some anonymous commenter left a comment to "not to take it personally" that I don't recall ever reading. First of all, I wasn't taking it personally as it had to do with my friend and not me, but yeah, I was pissed on behalf of my friend and for good reason because...Second of all, I won't go into details, but a while back some anonymous person used information found on my blog against my dear friend in a rather immature way I might add. So guess what, when someone is going to judge a dear friend of mine who in her day to day interactions treats people in an exemplary way and then is judged based on someone's ridiculous standards of how she should behave, then yeah, I'll take it personally, but thanks for the unsolicited advice anyways.

trapped

Today I was trapped at Trappers. In an attempt to recover from partying at the suburban retreat center last night due to Kevin's birthday, Charissa, Kevin, Cassie and myself trekked to the local hunting themed bar to gain necessary nutrients found in bloody mary's, and have breakfast. We left at oh, about 5 p.m. One might wonder how one kills six hours at a bar on a beautiful Saturday. Well, mostly talking and laughing over sexual innuendo's, eating, drinking (twin's special $1.25 miller lites), and best of all, playing Big Buck Hunter pro. Cassie and I hunted Big Horn sheep and Moose. None of my pals cared that I had shit to do today, like homework and cleaning my room and I didn't have my car, my keys were confiscated, and clearly I was not at all productive.

We had book club the other night. One woman is fairly new to the club, and she was going on and on about how her family has chosen to live in one of the worst neighborhoods in Mpls, so that they can invest and minister to the community. That's cool and all, but if your going to get on your high horse and act a martyr, it really defeats the purpose, which was her attitude, and frankly if I was her neighbor I'd just be pissed off. I tried the whole Christian ministry, investing in the "bad" neighborhood thing myself when I was in college, and I doubt that I will ever again involve myself in a Christian organization to do any sort of ministry, because that is the sort of attitude that I found to be prevalent. Yeah, I agree to have thriving communities with lower crime, the people have to invest in it, and know their neighbors, but when I see that attitude of I'm doing this great thing by living with these people and judging their lifesyles and I'm going to show them the path to righteousness, well, I don't think that is very helpful. I don't know of many people who are very receptive to getting to know someone that they feel is judging the way they live, and how they raise their children, I know I no longer surround myself with people like that.