sloppy

Class today was difficult and frustating, we were making plated desserts, and I felt as though I have no eye for design, which I should have, being an art major and all. Well, actually, design was never really my strong suit, drawing/painting something that is in front of me and making it look like what it is, that I can do, but placing colors and shapes together in a appealing manner is more hit and miss for me. Plus we're working with food, it's kind of a different medium.

I saw my former coffee shop crush's girlfriend in the pharmacy/post office, she held the door open for me, and she is a very thin woman. Actually I'm not sure if they are still together, I think so, but I'm not positive. She seems cool though, she has a lot of tatoo's and bikes everywhere, so I guess those are attractive features.

My saturday of laziness stretched well into the evening, with me shedding my pajama's finally at 6 p.m. to dress and get some food with the housemates. I justified that it was my sabbath, and therefore do not feel guilty that I accomplished absolutely nothing because if God says I need a day of rest, then I better have a day of rest.

Only 2 weeks left of the quarter, I'm nervous about my practical exam, our midterm exam was pretty stressful and I anticipate this one to be as well. You know, I've always preferred going at a leisurely pace when it comes to just about anything, like a snail pace. This was a major reason why I was never promoted when I worked at McDonald's in high school, I was just too damn slow for their fast-paced environment. Well, culinary school is fast-paced, and I'm trying to keep up, but it does go against my nature. So yeah, I get a little knotty in the stomach thinking about all the stuff that needs to get done in our five hour class period, but I'll make it I guess, even if I fail or break down in tears like one of my classmates has a tendency to do. I guess I should get used to it as "the industry" does usually move at a faster pace, though if I had my way I'd be able to take my time, and a lot of breaks. Hopefully I'll be able to continue my education, as I have to resubmit my loan app. and I really have no idea if I'll be approved this time or not, my mother is approved as a co-signer, but my credit may just be so horrible that it won't matter that I've made just over 12 consecutive payments on my defaulted student loan.