Friday, September 29, 2006

issues unresolved and tomorrow is a special day

So, apparently our house meeting resolved few real issues. I do think we were somewhat successful in getting Sarah to see that we do make efforts in the house, cleaning, purchasing common supplies, etc. without pointing fingers. No "real" issues were resolved however, honestely I don't think any of us like Sarah much. I guess I'm pretty indifferent towards her, but I do feel more comfortable at home when she isn't there, she just kinda looks at me strangely and I don't know how to read her. Betsy is pretty pissed off, Sarah made a couple snide comments, about the cleanliness of the house for one. Our apt. is cluttered in some areas, but despite what I make it sound like it isn't disgusting, and I feel we make a decent effort to keep things clean. It isn't even that cluttered and the clutter is papers and mail and shit or Sarah's boxed belongings that she hasn't moved into her room since we moved in. She also is refraining from attending our party since she's "really stressed out and overwhelmed by meeting too many new people", I frankly couldn't care less if she wants to make herself scarce since she's a kinda buzzkill anyways, but holy hell, we're all stressed and busy, I'm in school and working almost full time, Betsy and Kathleen each have 2 jobs, Jake has a physically demanding job, she has one job on her plate and gets food stamps (she has an Americorps position). Our rent is fairly cheap and I don't know that she has a lot of other expenses. She also "didn't have fun at the last party" well, she sat in her room with a select few of her friends, told us when we asked her to come out and join us that some people just don't like to socialize and drink, and left her other, non-select, friends to be entertained by us who had a good enough time to give us their contact info so that they could be invited to our next gathering. So yeah, she may be a cool girl, but I have no idea because she won't respond to our efforts to be friendly and include her, she doesn't seem to care to know us (yet complains), and I highly doubt that we will grow to like her. So I will be mean and pass judgement upon her, she was just kinda generally insulting, and I feel like we've made a genuine effort.

Along the same lines, I've actually been pondering the past few days about judging people, dismissing them if certain characteristics don't fit our mold, expectations, morals, values, what have you. The golden rule is crap because how you like to be treated is not necessarily the standard for all humanity, some people feel it perfectly fine to treat others like shit (by some people's standard) and expect to be treated the same, whereas one persons high ideals may cause them to blow off a valuable individual. I don't know, I fail alot at being judgemental (see above), and placing undue expectations on people, at the same time you can't just let any behavior fly without having some standards....I need therapy.

Tomorrow is my blog anniversary, 2 years of my pointless rambling posted online for anyone's reading pleasure.

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