walk on me please

I guess I'm a doormat, I was complaining to Betsy about work and how I'm too nice, and she agreed, telling me she thinks I get taken advantage of all the time. I need to learn how to say no, and to evaluate my needs instead of everyone elses, it all sounds so Dr. Phil.

I need a skill, a career path, but what should I do?? I have this book that I take a bunch of tests and it is supposed to tell me what I'd be good at, I suppose I could crack that open and at see what it says.

frustration

Lucy got a clean bill of health at the vet, turns out she just needs to get fixed. I'll spare the details of what I learned about female cats and reproduction, but in a nutshell, she's going to be in heat more frequently until she gets some, and she's marking in order to attract a mate. Poor sexually frustrated Lucy. It is definitely a bargain to adopt a pet, spaying is expensive.

Quasi celebrity pal Beth was in town over the weekend, with her quasi celebrity sisters and quasi blog-celebrity beau employed Tim (formerly unemployed Tim), whom I had the privelage to see friday night. I thought I had it in me to be functioning at the second bar, but instead I was quite slap happy, babbling nonsense while trying not to fall asleep on the table, that would have been embarassing. Fortunately it brought out a rare form of humor that is only experienced when I'm in such a state. My weird ex-neighbor dropped by the other evening to hang out, we've never hung out before, nor have I even talked to her much in the short time we've known each other, but she seems to consider me to be one of her good friends. I wish I liked her more because she seems lonely but honestly it is so awkward being around her that I try to avoid it if possible.

House of Mercy put on a great show last night for their monthly live at the Turf Club, Betsy and her friends joined me and she observed that I go to a hip church, and I'd have to agree. I must say though that the HOM band isn't quite the same without Pete and Abby.

would you?

In the words of Jeff Probst, Sally totally "dominated" that challenge last night, she was zipping around on that balance beam like a cat in heat who has just spied a potential mate (sorry, Lucy's horny howls are still disrupting my slumber). That was quite the tribal counsel though, we were pretty confident that it would be Ruth Marie, but still, it was a bit nervewracking. We were pondering the question how much money it would take for us to consider it worth it to be on Survivor, minimum was 10 grand. My wonderful co-worker Angela (whom I dearly love despite our differences) claims she wouldn't be on it even if she won the million, it wouldn't be worth it for her to starve and not sleep, this doesn't surprise me since she barely even leaves her apartment. Anyways, one week closer to those pancakes.

I myself was on TV last night, the local news came to our staff meeting yesterday because co-worker Stef's brother was in Iraq and our office sent his unit several care packages, so he came to our meeting to do a little show and tell about his time spent there. I had mixed feelings, being that I'm not thrilled about the war, yet seeing and hearing about these young men that are there and so dedicated to the effort, interesting to hear about it from a first hand source. In any case, I'm amongst the crowd of nurses and you could see me if held a magnifying glass up to the screen.

I accidentally washed Betsy's phone in wash machine while trying to be helpful, see, Lucy has this peeing issue and if you leave an article of clothing lying around, she will pee on it, like she did Betsy's vest. After discovering what had occurred, I promptly put it in the wash without checking the pockets, like the moron that I can often be. She's so great though, she was completely cool about it, what a good roommate I have. I'm taking Lucy to the vet tomorrow so hopefully her bladder issues will be remedied.

quirky

He's a quirky one, that landlord of ours. Betsy's friend Sinda takes Tango lessons from our Dan (the landlord), so she knows him better than Betsy or I and was giving Betsy tips on how best to deal with him. Unfortunately he shuts down when he feels attacked, so we had to go the "stroke his ego" route, so instead of telling him off our first plan was to be nice. Sinda also emphasized the fact that he has a brain comparable to the size of a Dinosaur's. I was to the point where I was okay with the prospect of moving, but Betsy wants to finish out the school year at her job with the Y so she was planning on staying through May, then likely moving back to California after that, so it would be incredibly inconvenient for her to move twice in 2 months. So our proposal was that we would be allowed to stay until the end of May, after which the girls could take our apartment. We included the girls in our discussion and they are discussing it and will get back to us by tomorrow, but I'm pretty sure they'll go for it. They aren't as snooty as I made them out to be, and Betsy and I figured Dan just promised them the room thinking I would be leaving and then when I wasn't decided it would be better to screw us over since they are signing a new lease and we aren't (and he's a pervert and they are cuter than we are), but they seemed 90% okay with the idea and said it wasn't their intention to kick us out. I still have to move end of May but I'll deal with that later. Betsy and I agreed we will miss each other, she suggested I move to San Francisco with her.

Haha, I also found out that Dan thinks I'm a lesbian, because I'm "cute enough" to get a guy to date me, so why do I not have a significant other? Clearly it's because I'm attracted to women and I don't even know it yet. That is what he told Betsy when he dragged her on some excursion to deliver a subpeona for him (also weird), she wasn't supposed to tell me but she was tipsy. Actually, I think most of the guys at the coffee shop think I'm a lesbian too, because I'm often alone, or with a gal pal, but really I'm just a loner.

I got a decent night sleep, Lucy is still horny but I noticed that she was mostly perched on top of the chair looking out the window to call out to her lover, so I closed the curtains and that seemed to help. The only one she can try to hook up with in the apartment is George, and he's a dud in the sack.

Bummer, Common is going to be at first ave. tonight, sadly I cannot afford to go. Why couldn't he come next week after I've gotten my tax refund, because the world is against me, that's why.

haha sucka's

Not only did I get the overdraft fees reversed that I was supposed to, she also reversed the 2 that I would have gotten, I love you bank lady!! Ah, for once I see the fruits of my labors, not to mention in some miniscule way screwing the bank, instead of being the screwee that I often am.

well, that sucks

In miscalculating how much money I had in my checking account, I just have discovered that I've overdrawn my account...a lot, I'm pretty sure that talking to a banker will get me absolutely nowhere, but heck, I'll give it my best shot. I also love how they always cash the highest amounts first and act like it is for your benefit when really it's so they can fuck you more. Eureka! I may get somewhere, turns out my savings account that I specifically set up for overdraft protection somehow did not get linked, she's "looking into it" right now. Hot Dog, I got fees reversed, yipee!, my heart can now return to it's previously lowered rate. I don't know MS flava, the way I handle money, as well as the likeliness that I won't be marrying any sugar daddies, it may be in my best interest to keep my 401k around and gaining interest.

In all my ranting yesterday I forgot to mention that it was Olivia's birthday, Happy Birthday Olivia! AND I just received news that my friend and Partylite compadre Erica just gave birth to a baby girl.

Betsy and I are meeting with our landlord tonight, even if we are unsuccessful in the end, I want him to know that we felt like we were treated unfairly especially since we are really good tenants.

I'm tired, Lucy (the cat) has been keeping me awake due to her being horny and expressing it vocally in the wee hours of the night. You really should get her fixed Olivia.

brief update/rant variety

So, apparently if our landlord gives us one month notice, he can kick us out since we are on a month to month lease. He's still a dick, he even said that we are better tenants than those girls, but they are signing a year lease, so they get the room. I just think of all the things Olivia and I let slide and could've reported him for and it pisses me off, Betsy has helped him a lot as well, even if only to listen to him talk nonsense. What irks me the most is that he keeps making shit up about what was said or agreed upon, according to him Betsy and I said things that we never said, and he keeps changing his story. I wish we could stay legally just to stick it to him, but I'm afraid if we are going to try to stay we have to negotiate. Betsy was planning on possibly moving out end of May anyways I guess so we are going to see if that is feasible.

Thing is I still want to move out east, though since I was told how stupid it would be for me to cash out my retirement that means I have at least a few more months before my credit card debt is clear, and I should attempt to clean up my credit, and also save. So as much as I don't want to be locked into another lease here, it would probably be to my benefit to just stick around and get more financially stable.

I have to get a new rim for my tire, and the cat peed on my bed yesterday. Alright, that is enough ranting for today.

update: landlord idiocy continues

I just talked to my landlord to hopefully gain clarification, but am only more confused. Of course his and Betsy's stories don't match up, he claims she told him she'd be out end of March. Betsy says she specifically asked him in January (after she was told she can stay) if he wanted her to move out and he said no, whereas he tells me that the girls always wanted the room, so then why the hell didn't he ask Betsy to leave when she offered. He's going to try to talk to Betsy tonight so maybe things will be worked out then. I feel like Betsy is getting a raw deal, and I tried to defend our case but I wasn't there when they were talking terms so I can't say that I know such and such was said, only Betsy can do that. And yes, I should comb over my lease to see if I have any leverage there.

getting the boot

Down the hall from Betsy and I live 2 trim and cute gals, they share the studio apartment. They seem to do laundry nonstop (probably from changing their cute little hipster outfits 3-4x/day), come off a bit snobby (at least one does), and now have bitched to the point that Betsy may be getting the boot, and me along with her. Their beef is nothing personal against Betsy, especially since I don't think either of us has said more than 5 words to them in the past few months. My landlord told me in passing yesterday, "I'm going to be needing Betsy's room end of March". See, apparently our landlord promised them Betsy's room to be available for April. Betsy's room is by itself across the hall from the rest of our apartment which is why they can take the room and essentially tack it on to their apartment. After I processed this information, I got a little pissed, and in talking to Betsy (also pissed) we concluded there has been some discrepancy in verbal agreements between our dear landlord and his tenants. Discrepancy's and other fun facts are as follows:

a.) When Betsy first moved in, she and landlord agreed that she would only stay until the end of January because the other girls wanted the room. Betsy said that they were offered the room 2 times and refused each time, after which landlord told her to stay as long as she wanted and she said she wanted to stay until the summer.

b.) I told landlord that I had applied for a job and might possibly move in March. Never did I say it was a set in stone deal, apparently he took it as such and went with it.

c.) I figure since the girls refused the room twice, they are now exempt from having choice on if/when they get the room.

d.) They were the ones that decided to share an overpriced studio apartment.

e.) The reason the bitching started is b/c landlord asked for extra money for the higher heating costs (we all knew of the added cost), I overheard the part of the bitching where she was saying that they were promised Betsy's room. Neither Betsy or I bitched about the extra heating cost, nor do we constantly do laundry using hot water (likely the reason for the incredibly high heating bill), we are clearly much better tenants....with an idiot landlord.

f.) I like Betsy and even though she is disgustingly messy, she's become not only a roomate but a friend.

g.) It is a pain in the ass to move, and I would like to avoid it if possible, but I might just on principle since our landlord is clearly moronic.

So Betsy is going to have a little talk with our landlord, unfortunately I don't know if we have any legal ground to stand on but we might, pretty much everything has been verbal, not written down. It is really irritating because he is stupid, as in he doesn't listen, nor does he communicate well. Our problem is we don't bitch enough, so we get the shaft, we need to get our bitch on.

In the presence of greatness

Excitement in store for this evening, my quasi-celebrity reality TV pal will be gracing us with her presence, along with her boy-toy MS Flava. I'm itching to get off work and enjoy some jovial times watching Survivor and spending QT with these fine people (along with my other fabulous friends, but they aren't as exciting since they live here).

the end is near, and someone(s) loves me afterall

In a very un-Charlie Brown like moment, I came home to a valentine in my mailbox from not one, but 3 very attractive and creative men vying for my attention; Kanye West, Jamie Foxx and Common. Apparently they all have the hots for me.

As much as I'd like to live in the fantasy that these men, though they have never met me, are famous and certainly have attractive women fawning over them all the time, I suspect that one of my funny gal pals put it together (main suspects being Fuj or Betsy, Fuj denies it though so I'm pretty sure it was Betsy). In any case they were f-ing hilarious and totally made my day. The rest of the evening was anti-climatic and involved me going to the gym and discovering how out of shape I am, watching the valentine Charlie Brown special, Gilmore Girls and the movie "Love Jones" as previously planned. There was a brief moment where Cassie and I almost decided to go out, but we each opted for our jammies and our respective televisions.

Something else that is swell is that I'm can see the light at the end of the tunnel, i.e. my credit card debt will be paid off in fewer than 10 months, if I didn't decide to quit my job, cash out my retirement and use that to finish them off, which I may still do, though my financial advisor advised against that course of action. I suppose in theory I should save for the future, but that is all in theory.

crisis averted

Breathing a sigh of relief at thwarting potentially really bad things happening to my checking account, surely rendering me homeless, thankfully, I will remain with home for at least the time being.

Oh yes, tomorrow is Valentine's day. I have a sultry date with my television, who will display a fresh episode of Gilmore Girls for me, after that we may get the DVD player involved and watch old episodes of Gilmore Girls, or maybe even a movie, the remote and I will get all snuggly and drink tea.

Cassie and I finished another movie off in our movie rampage, yesterday we ticked the Narnia movie off our list, then played a resounding game of skeeball (Big Buck Hunter having already been occupied). Even though I'm no longer a Christian I did enjoy the movie, I just tried to ignore the Biblical overtones.

crows feet

I was in that "I'm getting old" mood last night again, thinking about how in about 3 months I'll be 27, 3 years beyond that and I'll hit 30. I mean seriously, I'll soon be in my "late 20's", well, I better not think too hard, I'll get depressed, as I often do when I think too hard.

That said I'm in a better mood, my finances are in a dire state, not that that's new, I finally got my car back after I got swindled by Autopia. Having the ladies over tonight for book club, that may sound lame for a friday night, but we'll have a rip roaring good time, and hopefully indulge in a bit o live music performed by Truth before he goes on tour.

what happened to that global warming

No, it isn't Subzero, and we've only had one real cold snap early this winter, but temps have fallen to more of a normal range(single digits warming up to mid 20's), and I didn't wear my hat this morning, it was chilly.

I've been in a bad mood since Tuesday, feeling some stress, thinking about starving and repressed people in the world so I can keep things in perspective. On a good note I think the mouse left, I can hold on to that.

if it's not one thing, it's another

Finally reunited with the latest Fiona album, I forgot to bring it to work today in my haste to catch the bus, it is a recent addition to my collection so we are in the honey moon phase in which I want to listen to it on repeat. Angsty, just what I need.

My taxes are confusing me this year due to stupid Partylite. I did not make a significant amount of income from it at all, so do I even need to include it? I have no idea, any accountants out there that want to offer free tax advice?

Well, I did a little sketching last night here at the local shop, trying to, dare I say it, solidify an idea for a painting. Yes, I have a goal people, I should just keep my mouth shut so I don't get held up to it. This is why I always hesitate to share my goals, for fear that somewhere down the line someone will be like, "hey, weren't you going to start that llama and camel farm in the rocky mountains by August of '05", and then I have to be like "uh yeah, it just didn't work out", when really I was just lazy and afraid of change. Anyways, there is this very not a big deal annual art show at a local church that if I get motivated I could submit a painting to, so that is my goal.

Finally saw Brokeback Mountain over the weekend (as well as Purple Rain which was the midnight movie). Quite enjoyed it, brought some thoughts to the surface about lack of ability to share emotion, Ennis reminded me a bit of my father, his difficulty in sharing emotion (not his being gay, though who really knows I guess my dad could be in the closet), and my dad has always wanted to be some cowboy/rancher type out west. Maybe its because I'm never up with current events, but I'm also surprised that there hasn't been more controversy surrounding the film from religious folk, though like I say, maybe I just haven't been paying attention.

we meet

Mouse infestation is confirmed, I saw Lucy run excitedly, Betsy was brave and moved the object to reveal the vermin, it ran through my room and appears to be residing there as I type this. The cats are poised for attack, perhaps they will be victorious. Ick ick ick, that is so disgusting. I will name the mouse Mopie, I figure it will be around for awhile so we may as well get on more friendly terms.

happy/sad

Dearest Olivia is staying in Vienna, this is happy, yet sad b/c I was looking forward to possible reunification. Someday though, someday.

I'm happy because Sally did not get kicked off survivor on the first show, her tribe did very well, and I was amused at her lack of concern for the dead turtle. I've got hope for them pancakes.

Yet I'm sad because I just learned the the only bar I've been to in Boston closed or is closing soon, The Littlest Bar, where I spent 2 of the only 3 hours that I've ever spent in Boston last winter. A tiny place with good people. I had a dog on my lap, met a man who picked up Jesus posing as a hitchhiker, and was well taken care of, don't think I paid for nary a pint, but left with a sufficient buzz to face the bitter cold. It was a pub I know my friends would love and had hoped that on the roadtrip that we will actually take someday, we could've stopped there. Ah well.

Sad that my car is dead, but happy that Kevin is going to fix it for me.

I've got good pals, that makes me happy.

your 'sota fans

Sally's gonna be smokin' hot on the premier of Survivor tonight, ya'll should check out our beloved friend and cheer her on. Here's to you Sally (picture imaginary toast), may your game be on, your schemes be clever, and your luck be good.

I also just received 3 season of Gilmore Girls on loan from my beloved co-worker, don't be too shocked if you see me away from the TV folks, I'm sure it's only temporary.

whatchu lookin' at?

dirty kitchen
Originally uploaded by snielson.

There is possibility of vermin in our apartment. I have not yet seen any vermin, but the cats stare steadily under the fridge or stove or up at the pantry, just sitting...watching...I peered underneath, trying to shine a flashlight so to see if I could spy some beady little eyes or a hairless tail, but I couldn't see all the way to the back.

The possibility of vermin does not surprise me...take note of the grossness that is our kitchen (and yes, that is our kitchen it is that small). Recycling will pile up for days, floor is consistently unswept, dishes may be washed but you'd be lucky to find a wiped down surface. Betsy is good about washing the dishes, but other than that any cleaning is usually done by me, and it isn't any secret that I'm not very tidy. Critters can feast in our home for days, maybe it will cozy up in my bed with me. Ahhh, I just recalled the time when Olivia and I had a mouse and it peed on her bed. Oh, and the time the bat fell on my wrist, and when I kicked the mouse accidentally when I lived with my brother and that other guy. Can there be a new little creature to run screaming from and be completely disgusted by, a new vermin to share our humble home with? Lets hope not.

uh, who stole my cheese?

Granted, I stole the cheese in the first place, BUT only b/c the fridge was being cleaned out and had thrown the cheese (string cheese, perfect for snacking) in the garbage b/c it was maybe a week beyond it's sell by date, obviously still acceptable to be eaten in my book. So I plucked the cheese from the garbage (it was wrapped in plastic, so not as disgusting as it sounds). Now, the cheese is gone, who took it? If it was the original owner, fine, even though if it wasn't for me that cheese would be rotting away in some trash heap.

My eye hurts (another stroke coming on?), my car died again, and now this...the cheese I stole has been stolen.

I went to hear Camille Paglia do a book reading a.k.a. ranting about whatever she felt like last night. It was quite the entertainment, and now I want to be a genius, or at least actively learn more, or at least read more (poetry amongst other things).
However, this event did require me to miss the State of the Union Address, and since I'm not much into politics, I don't think (according to the rapper I saw at First Ave. on Sat.), therefore stunting the growth of my potentially genius brain. Oh well.