I'm roasting

It is really hot in the office today, usually I'm cold. I wanted to eat my sandwich but a nurse just ambushed me with a benefit check. I just spilled water all over myself. I'm wearing maroon fishnet type stockings today and a black skirt, I also wore a skirt yesterday (its finally warm!), apparently that equals me "dressing up" according to Holly, so what I learned is that wearing nice pants (or slacks, I love that word) is not dressing up. My shirt is too tight, I hate that I get fat in my middle area, it can be hard to hide unless you wear loose shirts all the time, probably why I wear so many sweaters. Why did I buy a too tight shirt you ask? I'm not really sure, all I remember is that I got it at Marshalls or TJ Maxx or someplace like that so they probably didn't have it in a bigger size and I at the time thought it looked okay, now I just feel like my fat roll is bulging out. I swear this is the only thing about my body that I'm really unsatisfied about, for now anyways.... And why are you wearing the shirt if you feel it is too tight and making you uncomfortable you ask?? Because contrary to the opinion of some (or one), I don't spend a lot of money on clothes, therefore my wardrobe lacks. I also usually try to shop at secondhand stores, so I often wear clothes that don't fit quite right because it cost me less than five dollars. Probably not real flattering but I can pretend its just my style.

My goal is to jog this weekend around some nearby lake, highly doubtful that I will maintain a jog w/o walking considering my winter of inactivity, and amount of smoking, but I can at least see where I'm at. Running used to be highly embarassing for me in HS, I would almost pass out after running the mile and have the worst time (as in minutes), so knowing that I can work my way up to steady jogging for at least 3 miles makes me proud of myself. I know its not a marathon by any means but still an accomplishment for me.

I spilled on myself again.

As Olivia so figuratively put it yesterday, springtime turns me (and her) into "a puddle of nostalgia" and the fall too. We pondered if you live in a steady year round climate if you have less memories, 'cause these damn season changes sure invoke the memories. We thought maybe that is why people in CA are happy and healthy, besides year round warmth and sun, maybe they don't want for the past as much. I guess I'll find out once I get a beach house and lay out in the sun all day. I don't even know if people in CA are happy, they do have all that pressure to be beautiful and wealthy.

Olivia and I visited Sarah and baby Coby. I'm not a real baby person, but he really is cute, he's allright by me. I appreciate Sarah's realness about the whole motherhood thing, it is enlightening.

I was out with Jenni, SALLY, Todd and Olivia last night. Jenni and I got along just fine, even though she didn't apologize to me, well, I suppose she sort of did, ahem. Sally shared some of her wonderful journal writing with me, my ears were blessed by her honest words. All in all a lovely time, now that it is spring there is more motivation to be out and about, so although not as good for my pocket or my health perhaps, better for having more fun and just maybe a little drama.