working hard or hardly working

I've been busting my hump here at work, well, not exactly, but I have to step up my antepartum duties while Sandy is on vacation and I don't have near the knowledge she does, nor did she have time to share some of her knowledge with me before she left. In any case I think I'm doing a mighty fine job if I do say so myself at figuring things out. One would never know however, since all we do around here is talk behind backs, myself included. I need more discipline in that area, but such satisfaction can be derived sometimes by throwing some sarcasm around or pointing out annoyances of friend or coworker to another understanding friend or coworker instead of just saying it to the person's face. I fear the reaction of the other person or want to avoid the awkwardness of a possible conflict. Some folks get good at being tactful, yet straightforward, some straightforward but not tactful. Throw in the skewed perspectives of all involved and who knows what can happen. Such as the other night, Jenni and I were at the RD (red dragon, the local friendly dive) enjoying a pitcher, having pleasant conversation, and she said something that I don't think was meant to be offensive, but b/c I'm sensitive and am somewhat f-ed up I get offended. And since I was less guarded with my tongue after three or four beers I in turn offended her. I think I rectified it by singing wind beneath my wings to her and apologizing. My point is that it sucks that it can be difficult to talk about problems or concerns constructively, or maybe its just me that sucks.

I also have to be honest with myself about how many excuses I make for myself or my dissatisfaction with my life, or even if I'm really that dissatisfied or if I have to live in a state of some dissatisfaction so I can feel sorry for myself and use that as another excuse. When do you accept your limitations to the point where they stop holding you back and you figure out how to work with them, the "in your weakness you will find strength" bit.

I'm having a partylite party tomorrow, I don't think anyone is coming cause I scheduled it the thurs. before easter, and people go out of town. I did that b/c Jenny P. told me she could come cause she is on spring break, but failed to remember and remind me that she was going to be in Jamaica this week. Well, I guess for sure three poeple are coming and I made Olivia promise to be there.

My mom is funny, I overdrew my account because I was 2 minutes late in getting my check in for yesterdays business, so I borrowed some money from her and she said I didn't have to pay her back if I give her a ride home from the airport. She was going to take a cab all the way to Faribault from the airport (about 45 min.) I feel bad that she didn't think to just ask me in the first place, cause she's my mom and she helps me, and its no problem for me. I hope she doesn't think its a bother or that I just don't care, which may be the case.