Tuesday, May 03, 2005

so I hear the 30's are great

Tomorrow is my birthday, I will be 26. I hear the 30's are wonderful so I'm not going to worry about how I haven't accomplished great things. Women on Oprah begin their lives in their 40's, revitalizing their spirits, fulfilling their dreams they had that were taken over by marriage and children. So I don't have kids or a husband to blame...

I got denied my vacation for CA, no fun road trip for me, no QT with Sally, no early summer tanning, no stopping to see my sister and her fam in CO. They sure picked a fine time to completely switch how the office operates, really screws up my plans anyways. I will go later but I was really hoping for the road trip part.

Tomorrow I'm eating cheesecake and drinking bloody mary's and probably drinking to excess, because I can and because it is fun and it is an enjoyable part of living. I'm a little pissed off right now, yes, definately pissed off. I'm not even quite sure why yet, haven't found out all the details yet, however I'm pretty sure I have good reason to be, as well as sad and dissapointed. I'm thinking something along the lines of not feeling freedom to be ourselves without judgement or fear or thinking someones care or opinion of us is going to change based on stupid insignificances in the grand scheme of things. A joy, other than cheesecake and alchohol, of life is being loved and understood as you are, genuinely that is.

So I hear in your 30's you stop f-ing caring about what other people think of you because you are comfortable with yourself, and your faith, and your relationships and whatever the hell else and that is ultimately what matters....

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