Monday, April 17, 2006


This morning I went down to the basement to retrieve my laundry. My dry clothes were on top of the dryer mixed in with some other clothes and one damp pillow. While sifting through the pile to find all my items, I noticed an unpleasant odor wafting from the pillow, I sniffed it and sure enough, I smelled cat piss. Betsy is continually poking fun at me and telling me I'm paranoid because I'll proclaim on a semi-regular basis that something smells of cat urine. Cleaning the rug on Saturday, cat piss, a damp day sitting on the sofa, cat piss, my slippers, cat piss. I mean, the cat did piss in a variety of places before she got fixed and before I located my brain long enough to figure out I could lock her up in the bathroom, and I'm certain there are crevices I couldn't reach or areas of piss that are unbeknownst to me since I didn't take the time to sniff the entire apartment. Besides, cat piss is a potent smell that some say will never ever ever ever ever ever go away, which is why I'll likely be leaving my oh so comfy sofa on the curb when I move. Anyways, back to this morning, I threw the pillow aside in disgust, gathered my clothing and headed upstairs to resume readying myself for work. Then I sniffed my clothes, cat piss, so I threw them on the floor vowing to take care of them after work since I was already 20 min. late and still had not dried my hair or gathered my lunch together. I scheduled an apartment viewing this afternoon 3 blocks from my place, so I stopped at home first to see if Betsy was around to take a look with me, she wasn't, I looked at the apartment, came home, meanwhile Betsy had returned. I told her about the apartment, we chatted a bit, then I started complaining about the nasty pillow and how it transferred it's nasty stench to my freshly washed clothing. She claimed the pillow as hers and reminded me that the cat had not been in her room, and therefore would not have pissed on the pillow. She chuckled, shook her head and told me I was crazy and paranoid. I invited her to smell my clothes, I sniffed them, nothing, they smelled clean. Thinking that my clothes possible aired out I took her downstairs to the source. She sniffed the pillow and claimed it was fine, I sniffed and once again, clean smelling. I've become a woman who is smelling cat piss when it doesn't exist, look at the damage that Lucy has done.

Easter dinner was not all that I had hoped, my brother bailed so it was just me, literally ONLY ME and my father and stepmother, my stepbrother was working. First of all, it was awkward, conversation with my father is always awkward, Barb (stepmother) eases the awkwardness but she can only do so much. Second the ham was gross, I think it was some wild boar that my dad had bought off some fellow hunter, it was not your run of the mill piggy. Third, Barb thought she had a can of those deep fried onoins to put on the green bean casserole but was mistaken, so she instead put on triscuits, which didn't quite add the same flavor.

No comments: