Monday, May 15, 2006

the single girl: a reflection

First of all, Survivor has officially come to an end, a bit sad, but yay Sally for a job well done. Not only did she show physical prowess and gaming skillz, but she remained true to herself the entire show. Now onto my reflection....

I'm 27, and I am single, shocking, I know. The plight of spinsterhood is nothing new, though much has changed in the preceeding centuries. In fact choosing the road marked spinster almost holds a degree of respect in some circles these days. Yet, I still get that feeling...that feeling like I'm marked, or my life journey is stunted in some way (shouldn't have drank so much coffee as a youngster), until I meet my matrimonious fate. By not being apart of the almighty pair, by not merging with another and somehow melding to become one well, frankly, sometimes I feel a bit slighted, or a bit labelled. Let's delve into this a little further...
Firstly, feeling slighted: Remembering back to 6th grade, I was at my "best" friend's birthday party which consisted of sleepover, then the following day taking a trip to the big city to go to some fun restaurant and other activities, but that was reserved only for girls with boyfriends (we've already gone over how I was fat and frumpy, needless to say I did not have a boyfriend, and was therefore excluded). In true adolescent girl slumber party fashion, I was hurt, my friend felt bad for hurting me, and many tears were shed. Then you fast forward to High School. What High Schooler doesn't feel a little inadequate when they have no one who will shove a hand into the ass-pocket their jeans and vice-versa. Then of course there is the dreaded High School dance, the ultimate couple-fest. Fortunately I managed to secure dates for a couple of homecomings and my Junior Prom (I didn't want to go to prom my senior year anyways, for real). It carries into adulthood, the double dates, or feeling like a ____rd/th wheel, spouses automatically taking precedence, or married couples now gravitating toward their other married couples, inducing a shift that the single friends just have to adapt to. Anyways, you get the picture.
Secondly, the labeling: "So, do you have a boyfriend? come?" I get this question from time to time, one of my all-time faves. What am I supposed to say to that? No, because I'm homely and fat and psychotic or dull or flighty. Or no, because I'm a lesbian, because that must certainly be the case. Maybe I'm taking it too personally, but I always feel like that question implies that there is probably something a little off about me, some unnattractive quality that prevents me from being acceptible girlfriend material. Not to mention that marriage is seen as this stepping stone in life, something to check off the list of accomplishments, so even women that have great social lives, careers, etc., there is still something missing from their lives. Then of course an un-coupled woman must be bitter and jealous (like I probably appear to be right now.

Anywho, of course there are advantages to being single that coupled women pine after, and if I get married (which I'm definitely not banking on), I'll probably lose all independence and become that which I criticize. Well, then ya'll can point back to this post and say I told you so.

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